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I'm a gay man who spent 13 young, formative years in a fundamentalist christian cult,… more »

OutInBumF Wasting time on Slog.
Nov 18, 2013 OutInBumF commented on SL Letter of the Day: Look But Don't Ogle—And Don't Blow Kisses!.
@20- The difference between Steamworks (GAY bathhouse for GAY men who are looking for GAY sex while there) versus a gym locker room for all men, gay or straight is laughable. Straight man at gay bathhouse, whining about getting hit on?! Now THERE's a whine-me-a-river moment.
But a straight man, albeit a preening, self-absorbed-with-his-beautiful-bod, body builder straight man does not deserve come-ons in the locker room. Makes me ashamed of my tribe's behavior. This guy doesn't deserve the ogling, blown kisses, or anything else sexually suggestive in a locker room. As for him needing to go to another gym- forget that shit. He pays his membership fees like everyone else.
Not too crazy about Dan's semi-dismissive response here either.
Nov 18, 2013 OutInBumF commented on Christmas Isn't Sexy.
@12- Indeed! Swoon.....sigh.
Nov 14, 2013 OutInBumF commented on SL Letter of the Day: Over & Out.
I do agree with Dan on this point- No forgiveness=No marriage. My 21+ year marriage is done because of an infraction committed following my son's suicide this summer that my husband cannot forgive.
Nov 14, 2013 OutInBumF commented on SL Letter of the Day: Over & Out.
@8- and no, my parents weren't psychos who leveraged their kids. They had a reasonably amicable divorce, working together for the kids for the most part. Perhaps it's the people involved, including the kids' personalities that make the difference?
Hindsight and logic tells me my folks were incompatible and never would have made it anyway. But the damage was done in childhood, and logic and rational thought doesn't undo that damage. Thousands of $'s in shrinks later, and I'll still never get back the self-confidence and security I had with Dad in the house and an intact family.
PLUS- children of divorce are far more likely to divorce themselves, because the model *they* were shown was- "If the going gets rough, get divorced", not "work it out, despite the difficulty".
Nov 14, 2013 OutInBumF commented on SL Letter of the Day: Over & Out.
@2 followed by @3- My parent's divorce destroyed my childhood and laid the foundation for a lifetime of crippling depression on my part. So I agree with 2 and find 3's comments good in theory, but lousy in practice.
My parents ripped each other to shreds when I was 5&6. Then they promised they'd never get divorced, took their rage and fighting underground, and when I was 9 announced they were sorry, but getting divorced after all. Dad left, I was 'the man of the house', and buh-bye security, stability and childhood.
Parents ought to suck it up for the kids, figure out their shit in whatever way they can and remember they are parents. Dan and others suggesting divorce is best probably had parents who didn't, in my experience.
Nov 13, 2013 OutInBumF commented on Last Days.
You'd have thought that this stupid frat house hazing shit would have gone the way of helmet-less bike riders by now, given all the atrocities brought to light in the past 10 years. Good to know that stupid young men are still being idiots. Those pledges' tormenters should be brought up on assault charges. Perhaps *that* will shut down all the god-damned frats and sororities in the country. Frats- let's bring junior-high PE class to college and enshrine it, shall we!
Nov 13, 2013 OutInBumF commented on I, Anonymous.
I'm relieved to note IA commenters can even manage to put down a dead dog and its grieved owner. All is still right in the universe.
Nov 12, 2013 OutInBumF commented on SL Letter of the Day: Model Behavior.
People be weird and shit. Sheesh.
Couldn't that have been said in under 5000 words? "I went jealous bonkers on my pen-pal 'cause my former girlfriend cheated on me. Now she thinks I'm nuts and so do I. What do I do, Dan?" would have sufficed.
Nov 10, 2013 OutInBumF commented on Imaginary Seattle Places High on a Dumb List of Livable Cities.
I'm paying WAY TOO MUCH for pot, it says. Hmmmm.
Nov 8, 2013 OutInBumF commented on SL Letter of the Day: My Widow's Dog Collar.
@14-FTW. What a ridiculous letter by a ridiculously ignorant [naive, stupid?] woman. I'm surprised Dan stooped so low to answer it in 2009, and now to have reprinted it?! Yikes.