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Lynx

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Mar 4 Lynx commented on SL Letter of the Day: Sample Sizes.

Way to easy on the boyfriend. He's not going down on her or going manual until he gives up because it takes so long. He's not even doing those things to get her excited before sex. According to her description, he hardly ever bothers with foreplay at all, and when he does it's only after she complains, only grudgingly, and only temporarily. She feels under pressure to perform, but he seems to give less than two shits about helping her along the way.

Only POANGO can be the judge of whether her boyfriend has enough redeeming qualities to make another chance worth a go. If he does then prior to dumping him, she should gve him one last chance. Explain that foreplay isn't optional. It also is a piss-poor excuse that she can't come from it. She likes it, so that should be enough to incorporate it as often as she incorporates head. If he wants to keep her he will engage in foreplay without prompting or nagging, and he will do so for more than the week he thinks it will take for her to cool down, or you're done.

That probably won't work, so POANGO should also know that a disinterest in mutual pleasure during sex is a disqualifier for a relationship, so she should avoid long comittments with men who display the same behavior, once she inevitably becomes single again.

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Feb 21 Lynx commented on SL Letter of the Day: Bonus Advice for DUD.

What I see from mouseanclown is a lot of assumption that ANY concern and ANY disapproval of a gay child's choices are due to some underlying nonacceptance of their sexual orientation.

When I entered my teens as a straight girl, my mother told me to be careful. I would wager that a fair proportion of humanity has heard similar warnings from parents, parents who either felt uncomfortable taking the conversation further or felt (probably rightly) that their teenagers would die of embarrasment if they made a big production of the thing.

That's not to say that this intepretation by a closeted gay kid is not understandable. You have a teenager (drama!) with a Big Secret (even more drama!). They will likely interpret EVERYTHING through the lense of that secret. That's why I hope DUD can get his son out of the closet sooner, rather than later. The sooner it's out in the open, the less opportunity his son will have to mine hidden rejection out of what actually is normal parenting. Even when the boy is out of the closet, DUD will probably commit some "sin" of being insufficiently cool about his son's sex and relationship life, making him exactly like every other parent of a teenager, gay or straight, that has ever walked the Earth.

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Feb 20 Lynx commented on Gay Marriage Has Gone Mainstream.

Will it become legal nationally some day? Absolutely. Will it become legal nationally in the next few years? Absolutely not. Even the next 10 years seems doubtful.

DOMA will be overturned, hopefully very soon. This will lead to federal recognition of marriage rights. However that won't make it "legal nationally", it just throws it to the states and makes the federal government officially neutral. Alabama isn't getting gay marriage anytime soon. We're going to have to wait a long time for the next Loving vs. Virginia. For that the court will need a broad national consensus that this particular type of marriage is acceptable and bans on it are immoral and unconstitutional, which will allow it to force the (southern, as always) states to join modernity against their will. Could that happen within 10 years? Maybe, but I wouldn't call it a slam dunk.

Feb 13 Lynx commented on Savage Love.

I don´t know if anybody above has suggested this, but how about DUD tries a roundabout way of telling his son that he knows?

Oddly Normal sounds like a nice book. How about buying it and "casually" leaving it lying around the living room, maybe with a PFLAG leaflet inserted as a bookmark for good measure? This will let DUD's son know his father is A-aware or at least strongly suspects his sexuality and B-is entirely accepting of him. He may still opt to not say anything initially, but it'll be sure to send the message "I'm OK if you're gay" loud and clear.

Jan 28 Lynx commented on Boy Scouts to Allow Gay Members?.

That's good news, but still leaves the Boy Scouts in the shit list, as far as I'm concerned. Even if they instituted a full change (instead of leaving it up to individual troops) the scouts would remain officially bigoted. They wouldn't be homophobic, but in excluding atheists they remain a bigoted organization that should recieve no support. It would be clear enough if they excluded Jews, or Muslims, that they were disgustingly bigoted. Excluding atheists is no different.

Jan 19 Lynx commented on SL Letter of the Day: All the Red Flags.

@15, until I read your comment, I hadn't noticed the date at the top of the letter and was about to chime in myself. I suspect most people commenting probably have overlooked the "originally published" bit and don't realize this is an old letter.

This does make me think, as I often do, that I would like to know what happened in the end with the writers. I hope this woman got out safely.

Jan 4 Lynx commented on RE: In the Entire History of the U.S. Senate, Only 44 Women Have Ever Been Sworn In.

I think the statement would work better as "a subset of white males against everyone else", so that's it's clear there are plenty of white males on both sides. I still don't agree, insofar as a sizable proportion of Republican voters are female, even if the leadership is male, though the past against the future is apt.

Jan 3 Lynx commented on Kind and Thoughtful Cinemark Offers Free Tickets for its Reopening Night to the Families of People Killed by James Holmes.

"Quest for profits"? What proposed mechanism for profits would this be? It didn't sound like they were going to put ads on them as they walked in. They may thought to get a little good press, but any company that does any gesture expects that and as long as the gesture is desired they get no shit about it. This was tone-deaf mind you, considering that theater is about the last place these families want to ever see, but setting this up as some kind of exploitative plot by the theater is stretching it the way only lawyers seeking lawsuits usually do.

Jan 3 Lynx commented on Gay Bowler Wins Championship, ESPN Airs a Gay Kiss, World Does Not End.

I saw this yesterday. Am I to assume that the moments where Norton's husband is referred to happened elsewhere in the broadcast? This is my third viewing and I still see no acknowledgement of their relationship. In fact I remember it struck me as a little odd that his opponents wife is mentioned in the clip but his husband isn't. I'm not saying this is at all intentional, especially if it's true that they mentioned him earlier. It's just a little confusing to have "the coolest part" of the story being about how commentators described them as married but not having that reflected in the video.

Still, very cool. Final victory will happen very quietly. Some day, a gay person will do something extraordinary, get kissed by their spouse and hugged by their kids on prime-time broadcast TV, and it won't occur to anyone that this is noteworthy, much less controversial. That day, we will have won, and no one will notice.

Jan 2 Lynx commented on Andrew Sullivan Is Doing It for Himself.

My subscription took all of 1 minute to do. I read The Dish every day, it was a no-brainer for me. I like he's keeping the front page free and also not counting links to posts for the paywall. My only concern is that the reduction in readership (and some is inevitable) will negatively affect content, since the blog is very reader-driven. On the other hand, most people who contribute are likely hardcore Dishheads who will almost all subscribe, so hopefully any ill effects will be limited.