Jul 12 Roma commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: South Bi South West.
I like that name Geraint (it was created by a Welsh contrarian who was tired of the name Geris)

First time I ever heard that name was when I saw Nick Lowe at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass in 2010. The talented keyboard player in his band was this guy.

And, speaking of hyphenated UK names, one I still remember from my days of eagerly reading album liner notes is Rev. John Smythe-Liphook (in the "St Cleve Chronicle", the mock newspaper that was part of Thick As A Brick.)
Jul 12 Roma commented on Dumbest Letter Ever.
10: A lesbian can't legally force her way into your home and make you to bake her a cake,...

True, but, as the Supreme Court ruled in Harper v. Methvin in 1994, a lesbian can legally force her way into your home and make you listen to "Galileo."
Jul 12 Roma commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: South Bi South West.
12: /Generally speaking, the level of effort necessary to get the clothes off of us penis-havers...

I wonder if there's some guy in the UK named Reginald Penis-Havers. If not, there should be.
Jul 11 Roma commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: South Bi South West.
1/Sublime: Step out of the house, go online, and men will find their way to you, but look for a same-sex encounter, and now there is work to be done, . . . Lastly...there is at least one really hot couple in Anchorage that was recently able to pull off a FFM threesome,

Assuming they're equally good-looking, personable, etc., I wonder which straight couple is more likely to have success, one looking for another woman or one looking for another man? My guess would be the one looking for another man.
Jul 8 Roma commented on Looks Like There Was Only One Shooter In Dallas.
The U.S. has a lot of angry people, crazy people, and thugs. The U.S. also has a lot of guns. A very toxic combination and I don't foresee any of these decreasing in number in the near future.
Jul 4 Roma commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Man 4 Woman Annoyed @ Men 4 Men.
P.S. Please allow me to modify what I said above, the "man proposes/woman disposes" saying I heard/read decades ago fits perfectly with that [saying about man & God], eliminating the word "perfectly" because I'm sure most people would concur with you, that women do not have the divine powers ascribed to God.

I, however, am not so sure. Many years ago, while on a chairlift at Stevens Pass with my then-girlfriend, I had pulled a small pipe out of my pocket so we could get high. I fumbled it and it plummeted down to the snow. "No worries!" my gf cheerfully said, "I'll find it!" And damned if she didn't ski right to the precise spot where it fell and found it. That seemed pretty divine to me.
Jul 4 Roma commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Man 4 Woman Annoyed @ Men 4 Men.
“if you don’t ask you don’t get.”

So women never get to go out on dates if they don't ask men?
Jul 4 Roma commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Man 4 Woman Annoyed @ Men 4 Men.
76/futurecatlady, thanks for your comment.

I initially responded to BiDanFan's comment @ 58: I honestly doubt [a dating site that only allowed women to contact men and not vice versa] would last very long since many women inexplicably prefer to be contacted than to do the contacting.

So she was talking about a site where only one-way contact was allowed. I don't know much about the mechanics of Tinder, but your your explanation makes sense for the way that app works.

Jul 4 Roma commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Man 4 Woman Annoyed @ Men 4 Men.
74/Alison, there's no inherent "gender" bias. The same thing applies to any situation where there's a person who makes a proposal and a person who decides whether or not to accept the proposal. The person making the proposal could be a buyer (as in the case of someone making an offer on a house) or a seller (as in the case of a salesman offering to sell a product or service.) The only reason there's a "gender" bias is because, traditionally, men have been the ones making the proposal.

The person making the proposal can do things to influence the outcome, but they can't control the outcome. The person considering the proposal decides what the outcome will be. (And, let me stress again, this is the initial outcome. A home seller could decide to accept a buyer's offer and then the buyer could decide they don't want the house after all.)

*

75/chi_type, I'm sure it sucks to be hit on by people you find to be creepy and/or unattractive. That's the downside, of course, of the traditional man-approaches-woman arrangement for women. With women (supposedly) now doing more of the initiating, I'm sure there are now men who get hit on by women they find to be creepy and/or unattractive and they don't like that either.
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Jul 4 Roma commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Man 4 Woman Annoyed @ Men 4 Men.
70/BiDanFan, I'm one of the few human beings in the Western world who doesn't possess -- and is mesmerized by -- a smart phone so I have no experience with Tumblr or other such dating/hookup apps. But, even without that experience, I can imagine that women get a lot of horrific (or creepy) messages from guys.

I'm not saying there's not a cost to women to waiting to be contacted. There is. It's not all benefit. But what matters is the overall cost vs. overall benefit. And I maintain that those women who don't contact men do that because, to them the cost of rejection is greater than the benefit-less-cost of waiting to be contacted.

Women who are not as risk-averse, who are more capable of handling rejection, are likely more willing to contact men,

Women in the 21st century know that we have options. If a woman isn't willing to utilise those options, then she really has no one to blame but herself if she has no luck with dating online.

I completely agree with you there. You reminded of a dating article in the Seattle Times about ten years ago. It was about women complaining that men in Seattle were "too wimpy" to ask them out. Most of the men who commented said that, instead of being passive and complaining, the women might consider being active and ask men out (the author of the article, a woman, had actually addressed this in the article but did so in an ludicrously-biased way.)

Roma @69: And a WOMAN'S desired outcome is guaranteed?

No...and yes. In my statement above, I was referring to the initial outcome.

A woman's eventual outcome is not guaranteed. Once a relationship has begun -- or even once there's been a first date -- then either party is open to being rejected. And, even before that, if a woman agrees to give a guy her phone number or agrees to go out with him, there's no guarantee he'll call her or ask her out. However, she does have complete control over the initial outcome: whether or not the guy gets her phone number or consent to go out with him. That's the outcome that's guaranteed. For the guy, it's not. He makes a proposal and hopes it's accepted. For him, the outcome is never guaranteed (although if he's tall and very good-looking, it's probably pretty close to being guaranteed.)
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