report this user
Feb 12 avast2006 commented on Savage Love.
@123: You're about as shitty a sophist as LW1's girlfriend.

A: She wants permission to step outside her monogamous relationship, but in exchange he only gets an equivalent permission that he finds completely useless. Asking for something you want desperately in exchange for something that you know the other person gets nothing out of is bad-faith bargaining. At this point he ought to be reevaluating who she has revealed herself to be: a bad-faith bargainer. At very least she is selfish and stupid, if she cannot see that she is offering him a completely one-sided bargain.

If she's all that hot to find this out about herself, she is free to leave the relationship and explore her sexuality to her tiny little heart's content, without infringing on her ex-boyfriend's freedom. But she wants to have her cake (keep the relationship, keep the security of monogamy from him) and eat it too (fuck around on him), while offering him cake (her) plus all the garbage he can eat.

She wants to have all the freedom, while assuming none of the risk herself. If she is bi, it is absolutely a risk that she might get just as emotionally entangled with another woman as he might with another woman. If this is unexplored territory to her, she can't make any promises on that score. "Don't worry honey, I won't fall in love with anyone," is an empty promise.

B:There is a lot more to a woman than breasts and a clit. Should you ever mention the word "objectification" in future, the only merited response would be a horse-laugh. If all she needs is an extra pussy to mess with, she can go buy herself a Fleshlight.

C: see A, above. She's a bad faith negotiator.
Feb 10 avast2006 commented on Savage Love.
@16: I've never had sex with an 18 year old Asian. Should I be expected to forfeit that part of my sexual exploration forever, for the sake of monogamy? That's just cruel.

Yeah, no.
Feb 10 avast2006 commented on Savage Love.
@8: I will admit to having read "women" plural where Letter Writer said "woman" singular. Dan was the first one to mention "women" plural and I must have transplanted it. My bad.

@20: "She's not denying her boyfriend the same privilege. She's saying he can explore his same-sex desires. It's not her fault he doesn't have any."

That is a near-perfect analog to the argument used by anti-same-sex-marriage contingent. Homosexuals have the exact same right to marry someone of the opposite sex that heteros do. What is there to complain of?

Frankly I expected better from you.
Feb 7 avast2006 commented on Savage Love.
That first girlfriend is a classic example of the stereotype of the selfish-entitled-as-fuck bi person. And they show up right here in the column with a fair amount of regularity.

You should tell her, "So, the deal you are offering is that you get to fuck me (to whom you are attracted), plus a bunch of other women (to whom you are attracted). While I get to fuck you (to whom i am attracted) and other men (to whom I am not attracted in the least). In other words, you get as many partners as you want, while I continue to get exactly one. In fact, maybe my number is going to end up being zero, because I suddenly find that I'm not attracted to selfish, entitled, manipulative, deeply shitty sophists."

Or you could say it in fewer syllables: "Bye, asshole."
Feb 1 avast2006 commented on Savage Love.
"if you're not able to focus on her alone at eight weeks—maybe sexual exclusivity isn't the right choice for you."

Or, more simply, that _she_ isn't the right choice for you. Even for a hypothetically non-monogamous person, eight weeks is an astonishingly short time for New Relationship Energy to abate badly enough to need to write to an advice columnist about a crushing need for others.

There isn't a lot of evidence in the letter that the writer is strongly non-mongamous; merely strongly oriented on male sexuality, even if bi.
Jan 9 avast2006 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Snooper Boyfriend Keeps Snooping Through Passed Out Girlfriend's Phone.
I doubt the difference in his reaction to finding texts confirming a tryst versus actually walking in on one is going to make much difference in whether or how fast he DTMFA's her. That hair hardly seems worth splitting.

Taking his description at face value, my vote is on DTMFA.
Dec 30, 2016 avast2006 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Dispatched To (And a Dispatch From) the So-Called "Friend Zone".
Letter Writer, it's been years. Where in all of this is the conspicuously absent girlfriend, the one that you should have been involved with since long long ago, shortly after the first time you wrote Kathy out of your life?

For gods' sake, put down the torch and focus your attention on someone who hasn't been telling you the whole time that you are as firmly in the "Platonic Only" category as if your feet were encased in concrete.
Dec 15, 2016 avast2006 commented on Savage Love.
Maybe your white queer partners got through to at least a few of their relatives after all. In case you forgot, Hillary won the popular vote by an unprecedented margin. And yet the Republican won the office on technical grounds. What that fact should tell you is that Republicans understand the rules of the game, and you don't. While progressives have busied themselves with things like taking over college quads and declaring them "safe spaces" and forcibly ejecting the media, or plotting to mail thousands of dildos to the White House -- nah, there's nothing self-parodying about either of those examples, or about any of the letters this week -- what the Republican machinery has been doing is relentlessly effecting rule after rule to shut you people out of the electoral process entirely. Whether it's ID rules, Cross Check name cancellation, shameless levels of gerrymandering, or taking advantage of the fact that the small-state (read: rural, conservative state) advantage provided by the Electoral College has been allowed to metastasize, everything they are doing is geared towards making your vote as a progressive either impossible to cast, or to count for nothing.

And now, after getting your ass handed to you by the people who have learned exactly how to run rings around you with the rulebook, your response is to blame your allies for not being allied enough -- no, for their fucking RELATIVES not being allied enough -- and you want to shun them. Again, good luck winning, using divisiveness among your own ranks as your strategy. Republicans have figured out that dividing you up means that they win. Here you are, offering to do their job for them.

Dec 15, 2016 avast2006 commented on Savage Love.
Good luck shunning your way to an electoral majority.
Dec 9, 2016 avast2006 commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Hand Jive.
While she says this: "our sex life now goes like this: intercourse for 5 minutes, 8 if I'm lucky" she also says this: "While he is incredibly giving sexually and makes sure I get off every time,"

So, Letter Writer, how exactly does that work? Are you saying that he gets you off every single time with a mere 5 - 8 minutes of intercourse? And nothing else?

If there is nothing else but the 5-8 minutes of dicking, then based purely on number of orgasms produced, the two of you are basically even. He gives you one, then you give him one. I'm assuming that one is all he gets per night. Are you feeling cheated because you used to get several, and now only get one? But he only ever gets one.

Going only on what you put in the letter, he can make you come in 5-8 minutes. How long does it take you to make him come with a handjob? Do you have to put in half an hour to make him come once, compared to the 5-8 minutes he spends on you? Maybe he should be willing to put in as much time on you as you spend on him.