Functional Atheist
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Feb 11, 2016 Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: He Doesn't Wanna Be Her Next Cuckold.
Break up with her.

It is in your head. It is a major squick for you. Deal-breaker squick. You'll never forget it, and you will never really forgive her.

You can even couch it in terms where you aren't judging her for indulging her ex-husband in this way. No, you're rejecting her because she showed poor judgment in revealing this to you when and how she did. She needed to keep this secret hidden, perhaps forever, but at least until you had established a greater level of trust and love in your relationship.

So you can shame her and dump her, but not look quite so shamey and judgey. She needed to be more sensitive about rolling out such a loaded aspect of her sexual history, you see, rather than you needing to be more mature and empathetic toward the painful stuff she did to try to save her marriage.
Feb 11, 2016 Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Using "Crazy" Like That Is So Gay, Dan, Really Lame.
Oh, I suppose I should add, I don't recall the last time I literally called someone, to their face, 'crazy.'

No, I'm not rude. And I generally know better than to be directly confrontational, especially toward a person who is behaving or speaking in a way that I view as nuts.

The right to 'call someone crazy' I was referencing was the right to characterize that person's behavior as crazy when telling the tale to someone else.

I'm not rallying for the right to be cruel to people, to call them names or to pick a fight or to escalate a heated situation. No, I'm rallying for the right to later be able to summarize their behavior to others as crazy. The way Dan uses the word, in other words, when on the podcast he begins his response to a caller with something like "Wow. That's just crazy. ..."
Feb 11, 2016 Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Using "Crazy" Like That Is So Gay, Dan, Really Lame.
Oh, please, don't surrender to this sensitive flower of a letter writer. Calling someone who is behaving irrationally and unreasonably 'crazy' or 'nuts' is a perfectly acceptable and reasonable use of colloquial English.

I was diagnosed many years ago with Bipolar Depression Type 2. It is well treated. Bipolar depression, like unipolar depression, is a mood disorder. A mood disorder in itself is not the same as psychosis. Most of the time, most of those suffering from mood disorders are not psychotic. Psychosis would be the clinical term for 'crazy.'

I am not crazy. I am not psychotic. I have a mood disorder. And I have no problem whatsoever with the colloquial use of 'crazy'.

You would do a disservice to the world to steal from us the right to tell a nut-job "you are fucking crazy." Do not give the language police another win, further robbing our language from a means of colorfully cutting to the chase in an immediately understandable way.
Feb 6, 2016 Functional Atheist commented on Poll: Clinton's Lead Over Sanders Is Gone.
Clinton is a weak candidate, in part due to her defining quality is ambition.

Her natural tendency toward rather slippery pandering only makes it more difficult to frame her as someone people should like and trust. As an establishment internationalist--part of a long and noble tradition in the Democratic Party--she is woefully out of step with the Democratic base in 2016. It puts her in a woeful position on an issue like TPP: her opposition to TPP looks insincere because it IS insincere.

She's tough to sell to a big chunk of the electorate. Being candid and 'real' and sincere is where Trump and Bernie and Cruz are similar in their current success. Hillary the slippery pragmatist just does not fit the mood of the country.

I think Biden should have run. He has the sincerity that Clinton lacks, while bringing virtually all the good stuff in terms of pragmatism and experience that Hillary does bring to the table.
Feb 4, 2016 Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Introvert Dumps Extravert.
Lovely response from Dan. So empathetic and forgiving and gentle, as the revealing details from the Terry/Dan relationship brought home.

Workarounds can be found, and can work, and differences like extrovert with introvert can result in a pleasing balance when combined: a strengthening agent to the relationship rather than the divisive influence that one might assume.

Your gentle nudging needn't be a scold, LW, it may well be a helpful restraint that enhances this guy's applied use of emotional intelligence (sometimes the wide-eye laugh response--which is fun to get--really isn't worth it. Dopamine is transient, whereas good relationships, one hopes, are not).

Jan 30, 2016 Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Sexless, Nearly Sexless, and Formerly Sexless Marriages, Ad Infinitum.
Weed can be an excellent aphrodisiac.

The warm and tingly body high, along with the relatively sedentary phenomenon termed 'couch lock', are characteristics of a quality indica that can have an aphrodisiac effect. This would be my recommendation for those who are perfectly fine with masturbating, or who have a regular partner at home--it is a stay-at-home sort of high since it may render you fairly immobile.

But sativas can be sexy too--the relatively energetic, effusive and socially outgoing side-effects can be helpful if you are introverted and shy and seeking a partner. Think of going out and dancing, or some sort of sporty activity.

Sativas are better for getting out and about in the world, whether running an errand or running a 10K. Indicas are better for hanging at home, either alone or with a companion.
Jan 27, 2016 Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Why No Letters From Happily Married Hetero Folks?.
Apologies for very sloppy proofreading.
Jan 27, 2016 Functional Atheist commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Why No Letters From Happily Married Hetero Folks?.
What a silly question.

Smooth sailing and no problems beyond an elevated risk of Type 2 Diabetes and tooth decays doesn't make for a interesting letter.

One might also complain about how journalists emphasize 'bad news' rather than 'good news.' Or how when you go to a play, there is always seems to be some sort of conflict, and there is often an antagonist--why do we need all that 'drama' when everyone wants to go to the theater and see happy people doing happy things?
Jan 25, 2016 Functional Atheist commented on Ted Cruz: From Doable Asshole to Unthinkable Liar.
Not a bad pun at all, that aspirations stuff. 18 year old me would have thought it a fine one-liner.

Apropos of nothing, if it is Bernie versus Any Republican, I'd vote for Bloomberg should he be on the ballot in every state.
Jan 23, 2016 Functional Atheist commented on New Bernie Sanders Ad.
Rural nostalgia porn isn't just an Iowa thing. New Hampshire, and South Carolina, the first two PRIMARIES, are also places where rural nostalgia porn have some legs.

Caucuses, like Iowa, are weird. Its all about momentum--winning Iowa is not all it is cracked up to be. Lots of non-actual-nominees in both parties have done that. But win Iowa, and then also win New Hampshire, and then make it close in South Carolina, where Hillary is supposed to kick all kinds of ass, and then the Sanders campaign might have enough momentum to scramble the race on the Democratic side in a real way.

This ad plays beyond Iowa. A condescending re-edit to be more diverse is the trap to avoid--maybe a second version, with the same song, that plays down the Norman Rockwell stuff, but keeps the warm and fuzzy in a more urban, diverse way. Like a McDonald's commercial, or Sesame Street--brings a tear to your eye, and so darn diverse that we can all feel good about ourselves.