Apr 27
Functional Atheist commented on SL Letter of the Day: Goodie Bag.
@19 Having a 'right' to snoop doesn't make it right.
Barring evidence or serious suspicion of definitely dangerous shit going down (like major depression, explosives, guns. or methamphetamine manufacturing or use), a parent who has an adult child living under their roof is being courteous, respectful, and wise to NOT indulge their theoretical 'right' to snoop.
Especially if that parent is at all prone to being traumatized or even bent out of shape by things as harmless and ordinary as pot, sex toys and legal porn.
But Dan was right about moving out--if it is feasible, it really is for the best for most 21-year-olds.
Barring evidence or serious suspicion of definitely dangerous shit going down (like major depression, explosives, guns. or methamphetamine manufacturing or use), a parent who has an adult child living under their roof is being courteous, respectful, and wise to NOT indulge their theoretical 'right' to snoop.
Especially if that parent is at all prone to being traumatized or even bent out of shape by things as harmless and ordinary as pot, sex toys and legal porn.
But Dan was right about moving out--if it is feasible, it really is for the best for most 21-year-olds.
Apr 26
Functional Atheist commented on SL Letter of the Day: Not One of Those Bisexuals.
The problem with "I'm bi" is that it begs follow-up questions, just because there are so many ways of being bi.
I think it is often helpful for bisexuals to explain a little bit--though without pejorative/defensive/biphobic phrasing like "but not one of THOSE sorts of bisexuals". In the case of this LW, something like "I'm bi. And just FYI, I lean a bit more toward girls, and I'm not into 3-ways," would provide some helpful clarity.
I think it is often helpful for bisexuals to explain a little bit--though without pejorative/defensive/biphobic phrasing like "but not one of THOSE sorts of bisexuals". In the case of this LW, something like "I'm bi. And just FYI, I lean a bit more toward girls, and I'm not into 3-ways," would provide some helpful clarity.
Apr 26
Functional Atheist commented on SL Letter of the Day: Wrong To Completion.
The LW and, presumably his girlfriend, are young people, and probably don't have a great deal of experience. They'd both be well served if they learn to communicate with one another better, specifically regarding sex.
How's she going to get better if he doesn't tell her the problem with her technique and enthusiasm? And it wouldn't shock me if that conversation caused her to open up about the LW's inadequacies (I bet he's no great shakes at cunnilingus, for example).
Too many youngsters have the notion that talking about how the sex ain't great will be somehow so soul-shattering or embarrassing that they'd rather endure bad sex, or break up. Learning how to communicate openly and honestly is a better option--and I'm not talking about communication like "hey, some gay dudes are clamoring to blow me, and it sounds like fun to me, mmmkay?"
How's she going to get better if he doesn't tell her the problem with her technique and enthusiasm? And it wouldn't shock me if that conversation caused her to open up about the LW's inadequacies (I bet he's no great shakes at cunnilingus, for example).
Too many youngsters have the notion that talking about how the sex ain't great will be somehow so soul-shattering or embarrassing that they'd rather endure bad sex, or break up. Learning how to communicate openly and honestly is a better option--and I'm not talking about communication like "hey, some gay dudes are clamoring to blow me, and it sounds like fun to me, mmmkay?"
Apr 23
Functional Atheist commented on Advice Cop: Wanting to Fuck 19-20 Year Old Guys ≠ Wanting to Fuck Nine Year Old Boys.
Amy really did goof here. Sure, the neighbor's behavior, if directed toward minors, would be a major problem--if not criminal, at least highly suspicious and potentially evidence of criminal intentions.
But Amy needed to take a deep breath, and not only eschew the 'Jerry Sandusky' and 'grooming' baloney, but to calmly observe: "While as parents it is understandable for you to be protective and concerned, you first need to realize that your sons are legally adults, and therefore it is within the law for them to not only be pursued sexually by other adults, but to actually consent to sex."
The age-gap and the secrecy are bad signs, and the neighbor may abusive intentions, so Amy and these parents can be concerned and still be in the lane of sanity--but conflating those concerns with pedophilia or statutory rape was ridiculous.
But Amy needed to take a deep breath, and not only eschew the 'Jerry Sandusky' and 'grooming' baloney, but to calmly observe: "While as parents it is understandable for you to be protective and concerned, you first need to realize that your sons are legally adults, and therefore it is within the law for them to not only be pursued sexually by other adults, but to actually consent to sex."
The age-gap and the secrecy are bad signs, and the neighbor may abusive intentions, so Amy and these parents can be concerned and still be in the lane of sanity--but conflating those concerns with pedophilia or statutory rape was ridiculous.
Apr 23
Functional Atheist commented on SL Letter of the Day: Mate Or Mat?.
I'm with 37. Getting too caught up in the details and the phrasing of the first letter is missing the forest for the trees: if the characterization provided is even vaguely correct, DTMFA.
Sex workers are expensive and definitely not to everyone's taste, Dan Savage.
FAR better to just be fucking alone than to be with anyone who bears even the vaguest resemblance to the soul-crushing cunt described in the first letter. DTMFA.
Sex workers are expensive and definitely not to everyone's taste, Dan Savage.
FAR better to just be fucking alone than to be with anyone who bears even the vaguest resemblance to the soul-crushing cunt described in the first letter. DTMFA.
Apr 22
Functional Atheist commented on Reese Witherspoon Pulls a Lindsay Lohan.
She was always likely to be another Meg Ryan, who will work only sporadically after her cuteness fades away in a few years.
It might even make her obituary: "Witherspoon's career never fully recovered from her remarkably arrogant behavior during a traffic stop in April of 2013, when her husband at the time was cited for DUI, and she was cited for Disorderly Conduct."
It might even make her obituary: "Witherspoon's career never fully recovered from her remarkably arrogant behavior during a traffic stop in April of 2013, when her husband at the time was cited for DUI, and she was cited for Disorderly Conduct."
Apr 22
Functional Atheist commented on That Could've Gone Better.
@14 I disagree. He deserves humiliation, and I'm very glad he apparently got fired.
A dude who mutters to himself "gay fuckin' shit" when he's in a TV studio with a camera pointing at him on his first day at work should never, ever, ever, ever, ever get another job in TV. Partly due to the profanity, but more due to his homophobic and juvenile use of "gay" as a modifier. His stumbling delivery after his fuck-up is just icing on the cake.
The more clearly obvious to recruiters and hiring managers that he has ZERO future in TV news, the better.
He can flip burgers for a living.
A dude who mutters to himself "gay fuckin' shit" when he's in a TV studio with a camera pointing at him on his first day at work should never, ever, ever, ever, ever get another job in TV. Partly due to the profanity, but more due to his homophobic and juvenile use of "gay" as a modifier. His stumbling delivery after his fuck-up is just icing on the cake.
The more clearly obvious to recruiters and hiring managers that he has ZERO future in TV news, the better.
He can flip burgers for a living.
Apr 21
Functional Atheist commented on Over 90% of the American People Support Universal Backgrounds Checks.
@63. Protestations aside, you do NOT understand statistics.
Your knee-slapping, sneering LOL at a sample size of 1013 in your initial comment is all the evidence I need. You lost 100% of your statistical credibility right then and there.
Your knee-slapping, sneering LOL at a sample size of 1013 in your initial comment is all the evidence I need. You lost 100% of your statistical credibility right then and there.
Apr 17
Functional Atheist commented on SL Letter of the Day: Big Time.
I agree this letter writer is an asshole, but I still feel some pity for him.
Feeling loathing and contempt for those one is attracted to is a self-defeating, self-hating pattern. I think the piling-on of nasty attributes to the women he wants to fuck is partly an expression of hatred of himself, and that's a pretty sad and emotionally unhealthy way to live life.
Feeling loathing and contempt for those one is attracted to is a self-defeating, self-hating pattern. I think the piling-on of nasty attributes to the women he wants to fuck is partly an expression of hatred of himself, and that's a pretty sad and emotionally unhealthy way to live life.
The Stranger
RSSSeattle Art & Performance Quarterly
A complete guide to Seattle's current art, film, dance, and theater season.
Facebook
Twitter
What is germane? Adult children should move out of their parents' home. Parents shouldn't snoop on their adult children. And snoopers shouldn't get a big sad-face if they find out--HORRORS!--the person they snooped on likes to smoke pot, or likes to have fun with sex toys, or likes to view porn.
Yes, yes--"my house, my rules." Everyone knows the mother had the legal right to snoop. No need to be pedantic again, "dear", on a point so obvious.