long-time reader
Portland, Oregon
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...no longer a first-time commenter

long-time reader is, because he thinks.
May 11 long-time reader commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: I've Looked At Accidental Anal From Both Sides Now.
It happened to me and my wife once. We were both very drunk at the time and going at it with corresponding abandon. We weren't doing it missionary--it was "doggy style" (ugh, is there a better name for that position, BTW?). I'm of average endowment (six inches). She said "ow" and we stopped immediately.

That's it for accidental penetration. But I've poked her anus without penetration accidentally several times--at the start of sex, aiming for her vagina and missing, in the dark. The head of my dick isn't sensitive enough to really know what I'm poking at (thanks, circumcision!).
May 4 long-time reader commented on Learning From New York City's Subway Riders.
@8, you've tuned him out so well that you read the whole article then posted a comment that betrayed said reading.

As for myself, I particularly liked the phrase "Every damn word of the sermon".
May 3 long-time reader commented on Why Our City Should Embrace Passive Aggressiveness.
Why should they move their bag? They don't need to move their bag so you can have a seat. Sit on the bag next time.
May 3 long-time reader commented on Legalizing Pot Didn't Make It Any Easier for Kids to Access, Study Finds.
Correction: The black market--defined as a marketplace where laws are not followed--is the ONLY place for kids to buy pot. Since it's not legal to sell pot to kids.
May 2 long-time reader commented on Carly Fiorina Pulls a Bob Dole/Gary Bauer.
People kept clapping.
Apr 28 long-time reader commented on German City Tries to Prevent Idiots With Cell Phones From Winning Darwin Awards.
Apr 28 long-time reader commented on The Puget Sound Anarchists Are Not Just Anticapitalist. (And Some Other Reactions to the May Day "Riot Porn" Video.).
It seems to me that you're saying that encouraging violence is the same thing as violence. Which may or may not be true--but I'd hold that it is a new definition of the word.
Apr 19 long-time reader commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Girthless And Mirthless.
Dan, that's "taut", not "taught". There, I taught you something.
Apr 19 long-time reader commented on Clinton and Trump Win the New York Primary—By a Lot.
If the only illustration you can come up with is a shitty, half-assed, photoshopped stock photo, maybe just don't use any illustration.