commented on I, Anonymous
What's creepy about this? It's natural to have regrets. She made the right choice but she also is sad about it. She thinks back to a time when she might have made a different, albeit wrong, choice. Again, totally natural. I have nothing but compassion for this woman. She can't help but feel the price of her integrity.
But, Anon, just remember, the child you imagine might well NOT have been smart, funny, and cute, but dumb, stodgy, plain, and exhaustingly high-maintenance. Of course, you would have loved him or her utterly, but still...to romanticize the path you did not take probably won't do you any good.
commented on Savage Love
@42, et al,
I don't get the logic of all the arguments here saying that girls shouldn't act a certain way because that will only reinforce guys' ideas that ALL girls should act that way.
Guys who think that all girls want to perform for them are assholes. Guys who thing that all girls should perform for them are assholes. Guys who think there's no such thing as a lesbian are assholes. It is not any woman's responsibility to limit her activities in hopes that it'll make these assholes less assholey.
It could well be that girls who make out with other girls for the sole purpose of attracting male attention are themselves assholes, but if so, it's just because these "look at me" types are kind of icky, and not because of what they might cause asshole men to generalize about the entire female population. That generalizing is the fault of the guy doing it.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Mr. Wonderful
Oh, dear. This is the perfect example of what is wrong with the Golden Rule. This girl is treating her boyfriend with excessive forgiveness and understanding because she would like forgiveness and understanding from the people in her own life. What she doesn't realize is that she isn't an asshole, and he is, so the Golden Rule does not apply. But there's only one way she'll learn: to suffer and suffer until she finally gets tired of suffering. I hope that won't take long.
commented on Frat Brothers Raise Money To Cover Trans Member's Top Surgery After Insurance Company Denies His Claim
@1, have you read Far From the Tree by Andrew Solomon? It's a remarkably fascinating book about families whose children have some kind of difference from the parents -- deafness, dwarfism, transgenderism, genius, etc. Your question comes up a lot in the book. In communities that have differences, part of activism is to increase acceptance, which depends on people acknowledging that these are differences, not disabilities. The other part of activism is to procure better accommodation, which depends on the difference being construed as a disability. Anyway, awesome book.
I like what @3 says. I wonder, though...would insurance cover reduction for old guys with man-boobs? This is a devil's advocate question, I know, but I think it's relevant...what really are the differences between transgenderism and other ways of feeling that your body, or part of it, is not appropriate?
commented on They're Really Not All Like That
Oh, for pete's sake, @13. There's a huge difference between people who believe in magical cloud beings and Nazis. Like people who believe they've been abducted by aliens, people with non-science-based beliefs may be a little nutty, but they are not necessarily fascist nor even immature. It's the quest for status within a powerful, violent group that makes one an evil Nazi, not the belief in fairies. You might as well say that reading a horoscope makes someone "close to a Nazi."
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Today's DTMFA
@6 (re: "my relationship" vs. "our relationship"):
No, I'd say that "my" was used here just to be clear about whose relationship he's talking about. If he's interacting with exes and friends in a way that's respectful of their relationship ("our" relationship), that means he's respecting the relationship he has with his friends and exes. For him to use "my" made it clear that it's his current relationship he's respecting. It was just a grammar thing, not a Freudian thing.