TMI
- Vampire or Zombie
- What movie can you recite verbatim?: A Clockwork Orange
- What song do you never want to hear again?: Heartache by the Numbers
- God is: fictive
- What's your biggest grammatical pet peeve?: When I misuse "it's" despite fully understanding how it differs from "its".
Nov 8, 2012
shw3nn commented on Savage Love.
shw3nn commented on Savage Love.
@70 As an atheist, your special pleading annoys me as much as, if not more than, our word choice annoys you.
I think that I should be able to call ridiculous ideas ridiculous. I don't think any wild, crazy, unsupported, unverifiable claims should be treated with respect.
And that is pretty much how most people feel on every topic except religion. I can scoff at any silly claim unless it is about god or is woo-y, then I'm supposed to pretend that nonsense is worthy of consideration.
Absolutely not. Will not do that.
I think that I should be able to call ridiculous ideas ridiculous. I don't think any wild, crazy, unsupported, unverifiable claims should be treated with respect.
And that is pretty much how most people feel on every topic except religion. I can scoff at any silly claim unless it is about god or is woo-y, then I'm supposed to pretend that nonsense is worthy of consideration.
Absolutely not. Will not do that.
Oct 29, 2012
shw3nn commented on Savage Love Episode 313.
shw3nn commented on Savage Love Episode 313.
20 You are really just skipping along the surface of what these women are talking about.
Oct 25, 2012
shw3nn commented on Savage Love.
shw3nn commented on Savage Love.
Look, guys, I'll tell you how you can have gay Republicans. It's because they started Republican.
Self-delusion. Confirmation bias. The illusion of Asymmetric insight. Introspection illusion.
Those of you who are Democrats, trust me, you don't really know why you are a democrat; I say that knowing you are capable of explaining it to me all day. You think you are but you are not dispassionately weighing all the evidence fairly.
I am not judging you. I am a Democrat and I really think I'm right. But I also know that my judgement isn't the bedrock I so desperately want to think it is.
We all want to be right so bad that we ignore reality in order to do it. The reason science is so successful is because it protects scientists from their own need to be right. That is how you fly to the moon and create mechanical organs.
Your data sources know this about you. You are told what you want to hear by your news sources because that's how to keep you coming to that news source. Google tailors its search results to you. It returns results you want to see. It's called the google bubble.
Their are whole industries based around appealing to this, our worst, most counter-productive quality.
TL;DR Gay Republicans are completely delusional. So are you. Recognize.
More...
Self-delusion. Confirmation bias. The illusion of Asymmetric insight. Introspection illusion.
Those of you who are Democrats, trust me, you don't really know why you are a democrat; I say that knowing you are capable of explaining it to me all day. You think you are but you are not dispassionately weighing all the evidence fairly.
I am not judging you. I am a Democrat and I really think I'm right. But I also know that my judgement isn't the bedrock I so desperately want to think it is.
We all want to be right so bad that we ignore reality in order to do it. The reason science is so successful is because it protects scientists from their own need to be right. That is how you fly to the moon and create mechanical organs.
Your data sources know this about you. You are told what you want to hear by your news sources because that's how to keep you coming to that news source. Google tailors its search results to you. It returns results you want to see. It's called the google bubble.
Their are whole industries based around appealing to this, our worst, most counter-productive quality.
TL;DR Gay Republicans are completely delusional. So are you. Recognize.
Oct 24, 2012
shw3nn commented on Savage Love Episode 313.
shw3nn commented on Savage Love Episode 313.
To the woman getting a divorce. Saying that divorce undermines the sanctity of marriage is an argument against legalizing divorce. It isn't an argument against legalizing gay marriage.
First off, don't agree that divorce undermines the sanctity of marriage. It doesn't and not a lot of people think it does. Divorce is what happens when something else undermines the sanctity of any given marriage. That is the relationship divorce has with undermining the sanctity of marriage.
Saying that divorce undermines marriage is like saying that umbrellas cause rain.
I am a very monogamous woman who values her marriage more than anything else in her life. I still think Dan makes a better argument about monogamy undermining the sanctity of marriage than any argument I've ever heard about divorce doing that.
So disagree with that assumption and then make them defend it, "You think divorce undermines the institution of marriage? I don't agree. I hate to break it to you but you were really deluding yourself if you thought legalizing gay marriage would stop or slow the divorce rate. I don't think we ever promised that or hinted that it would happen. I have no idea why you expected that. If you want no more divorce, and I honestly think that is a horrible idea, but if it's what you want, you need to try to ban divorce. I promise you, no gay marriage legislation in any direction will have any effect on the divorce rate. Sorry. You have been barking up the wrong tree."
I wanted to say about that Stank, I call my husband's stank my Valium. It doesn't turn me on but it relaxes me to smell it. When I had to travel back home to do an intervention on my brother, my husband went a long time without bathing and wore the same tee shirt the whole time so I could have that shirt to smell during that tense time.
More...
First off, don't agree that divorce undermines the sanctity of marriage. It doesn't and not a lot of people think it does. Divorce is what happens when something else undermines the sanctity of any given marriage. That is the relationship divorce has with undermining the sanctity of marriage.
Saying that divorce undermines marriage is like saying that umbrellas cause rain.
I am a very monogamous woman who values her marriage more than anything else in her life. I still think Dan makes a better argument about monogamy undermining the sanctity of marriage than any argument I've ever heard about divorce doing that.
So disagree with that assumption and then make them defend it, "You think divorce undermines the institution of marriage? I don't agree. I hate to break it to you but you were really deluding yourself if you thought legalizing gay marriage would stop or slow the divorce rate. I don't think we ever promised that or hinted that it would happen. I have no idea why you expected that. If you want no more divorce, and I honestly think that is a horrible idea, but if it's what you want, you need to try to ban divorce. I promise you, no gay marriage legislation in any direction will have any effect on the divorce rate. Sorry. You have been barking up the wrong tree."
I wanted to say about that Stank, I call my husband's stank my Valium. It doesn't turn me on but it relaxes me to smell it. When I had to travel back home to do an intervention on my brother, my husband went a long time without bathing and wore the same tee shirt the whole time so I could have that shirt to smell during that tense time.
Oct 19, 2012
shw3nn commented on Savage Love.
shw3nn commented on Savage Love.
KL -- "I just think that there are a lot of possibilities on how things can go down and it takes two people to decide things"
This is not at all what you've been advocating.
The biological reality prevents a man from being able to choose to be a father if the mother chooses to abort. Since nobody is advocating forcing a woman to carry a child to term against her will, I fail to see how the biology informs this discussion.
See, even if we grant men the right to opt out of parenthood, the woman will still have more control over the situation. And there are actually men who feel great pain when his baby is aborted against his wishes.
"I just don't think that just because abortion (AND ADOPTION, you keep forgetting about adoption) is an option that erases the option of choosing to have a kid and expecting the other half of the equation to have to help support that child too as he helped make that kid too (even if unintentionally)."
I read that as, just because nobody can force a woman to be a mother doesn't mean a woman shouldn't be able to force a man to be a father. I find that callous, sexist and entitled.
"Personally, I think having to choose is a great responsibility."
A man who chooses not to be a father is also making a decision. It is highly sexist to think that a man choosing not to be a father is always some deadbeat who'll skip away, penis in hand, and never give it a second thought.
I mean, I have just seen avast's posts here but I don't easily imagine him responding that way to an unplanned pregnancy.
More...
This is not at all what you've been advocating.
The biological reality prevents a man from being able to choose to be a father if the mother chooses to abort. Since nobody is advocating forcing a woman to carry a child to term against her will, I fail to see how the biology informs this discussion.
See, even if we grant men the right to opt out of parenthood, the woman will still have more control over the situation. And there are actually men who feel great pain when his baby is aborted against his wishes.
"I just don't think that just because abortion (AND ADOPTION, you keep forgetting about adoption) is an option that erases the option of choosing to have a kid and expecting the other half of the equation to have to help support that child too as he helped make that kid too (even if unintentionally)."
I read that as, just because nobody can force a woman to be a mother doesn't mean a woman shouldn't be able to force a man to be a father. I find that callous, sexist and entitled.
"Personally, I think having to choose is a great responsibility."
A man who chooses not to be a father is also making a decision. It is highly sexist to think that a man choosing not to be a father is always some deadbeat who'll skip away, penis in hand, and never give it a second thought.
I mean, I have just seen avast's posts here but I don't easily imagine him responding that way to an unplanned pregnancy.
Oct 19, 2012
shw3nn commented on Savage Love.
shw3nn commented on Savage Love.
@221 I'm sorry, this is where I feel we are right now. You want men to have no say after conception over whether or not they become parents because there could be women who risk pregnancy, don't have the resources to raise a child, are opposed to abortion and would find giving the child up for adoption too hard. This has gotten unreal to me, especially when you follow that up with a proclamation about men having to take responsibility.
Also, when you talk about taking responsibility, you are suddenly adopting the battle cry of the Pro-Lifer.
Also, when you talk about taking responsibility, you are suddenly adopting the battle cry of the Pro-Lifer.
Oct 19, 2012
shw3nn commented on Savage Love.
shw3nn commented on Savage Love.
@217 "The SOLE responsibility of preventing pregnancy is on women -- so we better prevent it, be willing to have an abortion or raise a child alone --- those are the only choices for women in your world. And for me, that's a disgusting point of view."
Again...adoption.
Again...adoption.
Oct 19, 2012
shw3nn commented on Savage Love.
shw3nn commented on Savage Love.
@200 It isn't a flaw. A woman who doesn't have the resources to raise a child but is fundamentally opposed to abortion can give her child up for adoption.
Oct 19, 2012
shw3nn commented on Savage Love Episode 312.
shw3nn commented on Savage Love Episode 312.
To the autistic girl:
I am autistic, as well. I'm very high functioning but there is no doubt that I am on the spectrum. I remember how frustrating it was in my early twenties how many people told me my decision to never have children was just a phase. They didn't suggest it as a possibility. They informed me of the fact that I would change my mind.
That was long before I knew what was going on with me.
I don't know what it is about your autism that makes you doubt your ability to raise a child. My biggest worry was always the sensory issues. A crying, screaming child...a child who needs to touch you and be touched on a constant basis...I wouldn't be able to handle it. Even at 38, I know that I am not now and have never been capable of tolerating that.
BUT BUT BUT, I just want you to consider what Dan said to the caller just before you. You can't predict the technologies that will emerge in the next ten years. Autism is only now starting to get real attention.
I'm sure there is a lot about your autism that you love. There is certainly a good deal of mine that I wouldn't want to give up.
Some new drug or treatment might come out that helps with the hard bits, though. You might want to consider that when making a decision about a potentially irreversible change.
More...
I am autistic, as well. I'm very high functioning but there is no doubt that I am on the spectrum. I remember how frustrating it was in my early twenties how many people told me my decision to never have children was just a phase. They didn't suggest it as a possibility. They informed me of the fact that I would change my mind.
That was long before I knew what was going on with me.
I don't know what it is about your autism that makes you doubt your ability to raise a child. My biggest worry was always the sensory issues. A crying, screaming child...a child who needs to touch you and be touched on a constant basis...I wouldn't be able to handle it. Even at 38, I know that I am not now and have never been capable of tolerating that.
BUT BUT BUT, I just want you to consider what Dan said to the caller just before you. You can't predict the technologies that will emerge in the next ten years. Autism is only now starting to get real attention.
I'm sure there is a lot about your autism that you love. There is certainly a good deal of mine that I wouldn't want to give up.
Some new drug or treatment might come out that helps with the hard bits, though. You might want to consider that when making a decision about a potentially irreversible change.
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Second, I think children are a special case.
I would be very interested in knowing some other example you can think of, non religious, of an adult having an ridiculous idea where you shouldn't point out that it is a ridiculous idea. Where you should pretend like the ridiculous idea is valid and as likely as not.
I am not claiming we should all be Lt. Cmdr. I actually have ridiculous ideas, myself. Data. But, if somebody points out that it's a ridiculous idea, I don't whinge.