Boston area, USA
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Middle-aged bisexual woman. Licensed psychologist, gamer, modder, fanfic author

Dec 23, 2016 Corylea commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: New To America & Ready To Get Laid.
Given that you have so little experience interacting with women, I think it would be a great idea for you to get experience interacting with women when sex is NOT on the table. Take a class or join a club about a topic that interests you, and talk to the women in the class or club just as PEOPLE.

Once you have more experience interacting with women, once you see them as fellow human beings and not as something strange or mysterious, the whole dating thing will go a LOT better. Plus you might make some friends along the way, and who can't use a friend?

Take a class in a useful skill -- like cooking -- or in a sport you're interested in -- like tennis, or in a hobby that calls to you -- like drawing or pottery or music. Not only will you learn something that's either fun or useful -- possibly both -- but you'll have something to talk about on your dates.

Every club I've ever been involved with has needed more people to do the actual work of the club and not just attend events. Volunteer to set up chairs or serve food or do whatever it is that your club does, and not only will you get to know the other active, involved people who also volunteer, you'll develop a reputation as a good and useful person. Plus, it will give you more things to talk about on dates.

Take enough classes and join enough clubs, and you may not need a dating app at all, because you may be meeting lots of people who like what you like and who've gotten to know you in a more natural way. (I'm not dissing dating apps; it's just that no one I know really enjoys meeting people through them, whereas everyone I know has enjoyed meeting like-minded people in classes and clubs.)
Dec 7, 2016 Corylea commented on Savage Love.
@12 -- I agree. I think LW1 needs to see a therapist to process the experience, to understand how and why he allowed someone to do that to him, and to learn to set boundaries so it doesn't happen again.
Nov 24, 2016 Corylea commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Let's Give Thanks for Threesomes!.
Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy wrote a book with the name "The Ethical Slut," and it was a great book. But Dan, but you're probably the one who's done the most to show the world how to be sex-positive in an ethical way. Yes, your ethics DO come through, and I wouldn't read you -- or admire you the way I do -- if they weren't there. So thanks for that.

Nov 24, 2016 Corylea commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Birth Control Pen Pals.
How disheartening that America has become the kind of nation that must be rescued by the international community, but how encouraging that the international community has not abandoned us.

Nov 18, 2016 Corylea commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Help! I'm Being Sext-Shamed By My Asexual Ex!.
SSRI's have sexual side effects for large numbers of people, but they aren't the only anti-depressants out there. Welbutrin rarely has sexual side effects, and in fact it sometimes manages to counteract the sexual side effects of other anti-depressants.

So please talk to your doctor about the side effects you're experiencing and ask him or her to work with you to find a drug -- or combination of drugs -- that improves your depression without taking away your sex drive.
Nov 17, 2016 Corylea commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Loneliest Flip-Flopper In Seattle.
Did San Francisco fall into the Pacific ocean when I wasn't looking?
Nov 15, 2016 Corylea commented on Savage Love.
"Freedom and decency need to lawyer the fuck up."

Well said, Dan! Please keep the light of your sassy humor burning, now more than ever.
Oct 19, 2016 Corylea commented on What If Donald Trump Were Gay?.
One of the best commentaries I've seen on the election was John Scalzi's. He's a professional science fiction author, but he's also a thoughtful guy, and given that he's a professional writer, he expresses himself quite well.
Oct 4, 2016 Corylea commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: A Counterpoint to Last Week's Tweet Storm of Advice for Straight Men.
I'm a bisexual woman. While my primary sexual attraction is to women, on the rare occasions when I'm attracted to men, I'm attracted to the kind of man who's usually described as "sweet." I find assholes of both sexes completely unappealing.

Women like me exist, too. :-)
Sep 20, 2016 Corylea commented on Savage Love.
SSRI's often make it difficult for people to have orgasms, but there are other anti-depressants. Sometimes Wellbutrin will counteract the no-orgasm effect of SSRI's if you take the SSRI and Wellbutrin together, and sometimes Wellbutrin is an effective antidepressant all by itself, with no need for an SSRI.

That's just one example, to say that you need to talk to your doctor. If your antidepressant is giving you unpleasant side effects, another antidepressant might work better for you. It's okay to ask your doc to work with you to minimize side effects.