commented on Shut Up About Trigger Warnings...
One evening, on the first class of a graduate level course on addiction counseling, the professor showed the movie "Requiem for a Dream" in its entirety. There was no chance for us to know it was coming, we hadn't seen the syllabus until 45 minutes before. There's explicit drug use and coerced sex.
Maybe someone who was in recovery from heroin addiction or maybe had terrible associations with coerced sex would have benefited from being told to watch the movie in the intervening week before the next class session, so they could engage the material on their own terms.
It's not about avoiding the course content. It's being able to prepare for it. Why is that such a big deal--why is that a bad thing to offer students?
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Swinging Double Standards
@47: I think that 'casual sex' does not automatically mean anonymous sex, or hookups, or one night stands, or what have you. It can mean a sexual relationship in which you're not close--so you wouldn't say you're friends, exactly--but you have sex dates periodically.
As an aside, I've found myself in one of these recently, and I'm trying to work out how I feel about it.
commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Back To the Dorms
They didn't spell out agreements ahead of time--what if this isn't working? What's the deadline to decide by? What's Plan C if this all goes sideways? Who's responsible for which chores? How much money will she be able to pay each month?
They didn't have these conversations before she moved in, two weeks after she moved in, or as the dorm deadline approached. That might be the equal fault of both legal adult parties, or it might be more his fault, being ten or a dozen years older and having lived independently before where she hasn't. But you can't reasonably make it more her fault than his.
commented on Savage Love
If the massage guy is actually an LMT, you could report him to whatever regulatory board applies in your state. Think carefully about how you word the complaint if you don't want to rat him out for sex work, but just for making creepy comments. Or maybe just do word-of-mouth negative referrals.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: In Demand
I live with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. He and I are not romantically/sexually linked, and he and I each date other people. We can't be THAT far out of the norm, surely?
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Unicorn Hunters
She needs to figure out what she wants from the encounter, and what she's up for, and what she might consider but should warn there's a good chance she'll back out on. That might look like:
1--I want sex with the dude, in styles A, B, and C
2--I'm up for making out with the wife, and her watching the sex with the dude, or a 3-way with all attention focused on him
3--I'm up for trying receiving sexy actions X, Y, and Z from her, but there's a real good chance I'll back out pretty quick.
See what they say. They might be really focused on a sweetie for her, and pass on you. That's okay! It beats getting into a bedroom or hotel room, with a bunch of mismatched expectations, and everyone winding up grumpy or hurt.