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East Coast Douglas

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Mar 12 East Coast Douglas commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Missing Condom.

@60, I'd say Kremlinologist more than Sherlock. That is some fine tea-leaf-stringing-together, there, sir.

Mar 12 East Coast Douglas commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Missing Condom.

Wait, did the troll actually read my posts? I'm the one who said "condomless guy" is a douche-bag, not a criminal.

Mar 12 East Coast Douglas commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Missing Condom.

@40 You're right, I was keenly aware of the whole "legitimate" rape BS when I wrote the post. That's why I included the "violence, coercion, or incapacity to give meaningful consent" mention. You can't score the seriousness of a rape based on the rapist's technique. Rape is rape.

But not all sexual assaults are rape. And not all lies are sexual assaults. All three are, however, violations and serious. But once we accept false equivalencies, we loose the moral ground for calling out misogynists for doing the same.

Maybe I should have written:

Imagine the hue and cry if a Republican senatorial candidate said that the experience a woman being raped is the equivalent finding out a guy wasn't using a condom when she thought he was.

The outrage would be righteous and deserved.

Mar 11 East Coast Douglas commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Missing Condom.

I'm kind of dispirited buy the devaluation of the word Rape on here tonight. I hope the letter writer has the sense never to see this douche again, clearly her trust was violated. And I hate being in the position of saying something that could be misconstrued as defending him - his actions described in this letter are indefensible.

But rounding an ugly, but common, breach of trust up to rape? Having seen the effects of sexual violence first hand, I hate seeing the word rape thrown around so casually.

I can't imagine telling a woman who was raped--be it through violence, coercion, or incapacity to give meaningful consent--that her experience was the equivalent finding out a guy wasn't using a condom when she thought he was. Is there anyone who wouldn't find such a comparison demeaning?

Men need to take rape and sexual assault seriously. There are too many who don't. Hyperbole doesn't correct that problem.

Mar 1 East Coast Douglas commented on SL Letter of the Day: Sometimes You Just Have to Step Back.

Wait a minute, what did Kim Mitchell do?

Feb 26 East Coast Douglas commented on The Right to Choose Your Next-of-Kin.

I'm 45 and came out just a few years before The Protease Moment(TM) and I am always stunned by how much I have forgotten and how many friends of mine who are as little as five years younger than I don't know what a non-stop fire hose of horrors it was to be an out gay man from the mid-80s through the mid-90s.

Sigh, the bad old days. Never forget.