alguna_rubia
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Jan 8, 2015 alguna_rubia commented on Gentrifying While Black.
@25: Honestly? Yes, if we're talking about good jobs. It might not be directly from one of those people, but generally, the jobs you get are the ones where you or someone you know already knows someone who works at the company. The way most private sector companies fill their positions goes something like this:

1) Open position up to current employees.
2) Tell employees to pass along resumes of people they know and can vouch for.
3) Open position up to limited public lists (university recruitment sites, for example)
4) Open position up to general public.

These steps stop as soon as the company finds someone they like. If they like a current employee for the position, the chain stops there. If their employees vouch for someone they like, the job never gets beyond the current employees' range of connections. This is the entire reason why some universities have frats that produce a disproportionate number of rich and powerful people, by the way. The old members, who've gotten to be rich and powerful, tend to want to hire someone from their old frat, and so those people become rich and powerful, etc. It's really only the low-end private sector and normal government jobs that are not gotten through at least the friends of one's friends and family.
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Jan 6, 2015 alguna_rubia commented on I, Anonymous.
Ugh, why does anyone think that this woman was "just trying to make small talk"? She basically said "I think your boyfriend is taking too long to propose to you." Even if the relationship were going really well, that's super awkward. It's even worse when they're not engaged for very good reasons.

@18: The article you cite mentions a perfectly good way to get a conflict-free diamond: get one that's man-made, not mined. A lot of ethical people are fine with vintage stones, as diamonds don't really change much and if people were exploited while they were mined, it was a very long time ago and there's not much you can do about it now.
Dec 3, 2014 alguna_rubia commented on SL Letter of the Day: Zoning Violation.
@38: While I agree with you, I at least hope you acknowledge that some of us can't help but "dress sexy" because clothes that are demure on normal people look "sexy" on large-breasted women. Also, if you're staring overlong, I hope you're embarrassed when the woman brings it to your attention. Not traumatized for life, but suitably embarrassed.
Dec 3, 2014 alguna_rubia commented on Savage Love.
@17: Wow, those are incredible. I don't think I ever understood how anyone could think it looks like a flower until seeing a couple of these.

As for MiM: I had the same feelings when I was 17- I wouldn't even take my pants off for my high school boyfriend because I was so paranoid about what he'd think. I didn't know what the vulva was "supposed" to look like, so I didn't know if mine would be good enough or not. Having put my face in several other vulvas since then, I've learned this: vulvas do not need to be visually appealing. Some people love the way they look, and that's great for them, but I stick my face in pussy because I like having my face there. I like the way it smells, tastes, and feels. I don't need pussy to look good. I'm betting that's what your boyfriend thinks, too.
Dec 2, 2014 alguna_rubia commented on UK Bans Production of Porn Featuring Female Ejaculation.
The only one on this list that I agree with banning is strangulation, because I think that there's a legitimate interest in not giving people a financial incentive for doing something that can't be done safely. The rest of this list is just anti-kink and anti-women for no reason.
Dec 1, 2014 alguna_rubia commented on Home for Thanksgiving and Not Interested in the Game, Your Cousins, or More Pie?.
Yeah, this survey was really badly designed. When they asked "kissing more often" I thought... more often than what?
Nov 22, 2014 alguna_rubia commented on SL Letter of the Day: Profile & Courage.
@59: You should keep trying to meet up with people, but if I were you, I wouldn't devote too much time to it. Right now, I think you're devoting too much time and energy to it, and your lack of returns on that investment is really getting you down. Don't message more than 3-5 women on OKCupid a week. The stuff about finding other poly people is probably the best advice, because there are relatively few single women out there who are really down for being someone's secondary. You might want to try doing some other kinds of activities.



As for your wife, you don't necessarily need to cut down on her extracurricular activities right this instant, but you do need to put her on notice that you'll need her to do so at some point. If you've only been doing it for a couple months, she may be going through a "slutty phase" where she's just marveling at the sheer bounty of booty. She'll probably tire of it of her own accord, but she'll cut down sooner if you let her know that you're lonely when she's out most nights in the week.
Nov 5, 2014 alguna_rubia commented on GOP Victories: One Chart to Explain Them All.
Here's the thing. People who are 60 years and older have a bunch of advantages when it comes to voting. Most of them are retired, so they can literally do nothing but vote on election day if they want to. Those who aren't are mostly in steady jobs in which they can get the time off to go vote. Then there's the fact that old people mostly don't move- they registered to vote at their address a decade or two ago and so their voter info packet keeps coming to the same place and they don't miss it.

Young people, on the other hand, are usually either working or going to school on Tuesdays, and many of them do not have the time off to go vote. Then you have the problem of the constantly moving young person. I'm 23. I've lived in 7 different places since I turned 18. Not really understanding how voting works when you move all the time cost me the vote twice. The first time, when I was a freshman in college and didn't understand that you couldn't just go vote at college if you weren't registered in that specific county, I thought I'd vote at school and then found that it didn't work like that. So I set myself up to vote absentee so that I wouldn't have to go to the polling place on Voting Day. Well guess what? After I moved, I forgot to change the address on my absentee ballot, so it went to the wrong address and got thrown out. So after that, I changed the address to my mother's house so she can just forward it to wherever I'm living, since she's one of those 60 or older people who hasn't moved in decades and isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

What I do not understand is why everyone sits there criticizing young people for not voting without realizing that the sheer inconvenience of voting is unbelievably stupid and totally unnecessary. I can register for a driver's license online. I can pay my bills online. I can register for student loans online. Why is it so crazy to want to vote online? Couldn't we make voting day a national holiday? Couldn't we make it compulsory for employers to give employees at least a few hours to vote?

These are all issues that much more effect young voters than old ones. It's not really that we're less motivated, but we have more chaotic lives than old people do. It's just much harder for us to figure out basically everything to do with voting.

And while I don't think that boomers should hurry up and die or anything, I do think that as a collective generation, they've kind of screwed us over.
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Nov 5, 2014 alguna_rubia commented on SL Letter of the Day: Adventurous Parents.
This letter is kind of a Rorschach test, isn't it? People see what they think is there and ignore the other possibilities.



What I see are mixed signals. She says that there are things he hasn't done that he won't be able to do after having a kid, but she doesn't mention what they are. She also seems fixated on a time frame, which is definitely important, but isn't the most productive aspect to focus on. Really, they should focus on what exactly these things he thinks he can do now that he won't be able to do as a dad are and either figure out how long they'll take to accomplish pre-parenthood or figure out how they can be done post-parenthood.



Really, I think it's hard to tell whether he wants kids or not; he could just not want them and be scared to tell her, but he could also be freaking out about the responsibility now that it's actually staring him in the face. Maybe he feels he hasn't enjoyed spontaneity enough as a non-parent. I think one thing that people often fail to realize, though, is that yes, 18 years is a long time to be mostly not spontaneous, but usually, people live quite a few years after their children are grown and responsible for themselves, and there's no reason spontaneity can't return to your life in a major way at that point.
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Oct 30, 2014 alguna_rubia commented on Interviews with Two Women Who Dated Jian Ghomeshi.
@51: When he says "punched repeatedly in the head with a closed fist," he's not talking about being punched on different occasions, he's talking about multiple punches in succession.