The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper

Columbia City Watch

Charles Mudede — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 18:11:51 -0800

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Five Hours Left to Vote In The Stranger's Tournament of Dunces, Round One

Eli Sanders — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 12:00:39 -0800

[Click to enlarge.]

Voting closes at 5 p.m.! Who will be in Monday's Final Four????

Jay Rodne OR Jan Angel?

Matt Shea OR Jason Overstreet?

Mark Hargrove OR Norma Smith?

Brad Klippert OR Bill Hinkle?

Vote! Vote! Vote!

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Free Bike Tune-Ups!

Julian Kusche — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 11:00:00 -0800

Like an eco-friendly Justice League, DubSea Bikes is a nonprofit collective of eight local organizations... by Julian Kusche

Like an eco-friendly Justice League, DubSea Bikes is a nonprofit collective of eight local organizations (including Bike Works, Cascade Bicycle Club, and the King County Food & Fitness Initiative) intent on spreading the velocipede love in low-income and bike-shop-less districts. Their main MO is to give free tune-ups to anyone with a two-wheeler, and today they’re doing it at the White Center Food Bank, so bring a donation (you don’t have to, but do you really want to give cyclists a worse reputation?). Sadly, DubSea can’t work miracles, so if your ride’s totally screwed, they’ll refer you to a bike shop. (White Center Food Bank, 10829 Eighth Ave SW, 860-1432, 2–4 pm, free)

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Two Injured After Shooting Outside Sodo Club

Megan Seling — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 10:18:22 -0800

Komo is reporting that two people are now hospitalized after a shooting near the Club X nightclub in Sodo:

SEATTLE - A man and woman are hospitalized with life-threatening injuries after they were hit by gunfire in a disturbance early Sunday outside a SoDo nightclub.

Police responded to the scene, in the 1900 block of 1st Avenue South, at about 3:30 a.m. after receiving a report of shots fired and a victim on the ground.

When officers arrived, both gunshot victims had already been taken to Harborview Medical Center in personal vehicles, said Detective Jeff Kappel of the Seattle Police Department.

This is the second weekend in a row a shooting has occurred outside a Sodo club. Last weekend a sailor was fatally shot on the 2900 block of First Ave.

So far there aren't many details about last night's shooting. You can read the full story here.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Whitney: How Will I Know?

Kelly O — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 10:15:00 -0800

Whitney was so undeniably talented. None of the pop singers today could sing the National Anthem like she did. No contest. And while it's tempting to go back and look at her Bobbi Brown years, it's in poor taste. She seemed so sweet, but powerless against so many of the creeps (cough, Serge Gainsbourg). It is fair to say, "Whitney, I'm so sorry you lost the boyfriend lottery."

Falling in love is bittersweet.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Tonight in Music: Tower of Power, Glitterbang, The Blind Photographers, Terabyte & the Battery Eaters

Mike Ramos — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 10:14:50 -0800

Tower of Power

(Jazz Alley) See Thursday.

More Info

Glitterbang - Piano Fight by Team Pegasus

Glitterbang, the Blind Photographers, Terabyte & the Battery Eaters

(Comet) To honor the recent passing of Soul Train's Don Cornelius, everybody should pick a night, at least once a week, to go out and dance. I think sometimes we as a Northwestern people forget the importance of dancing. I know when it rains, I don't feel like moving, even though it's probably the sunniest thing I could do for myself. And while there's hundreds of excellent DJ nights in this city, we should also pay attention to local bands and to our newish local electro-pop scene. Northwest bands like YACHT, Secret Shoppers, and my favorite duo, the Bonjour-jeans-wearing Glitterbang, really want nothing more than to make you (finally) dance again. KELLY O

More Info

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

The Sunday Morning News

Dominic Holden — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 09:54:43 -0800

Good God: Whitney is still dead.

Oh Christ: Jennifer Hudson will replace her at the Grammys tonight.

Holy Fuck: Mitt wins the Maine caucuses.

Hallelujah! Why same-sex marriage is inevitable.

Lord Have Mercy on Our Souls: Charlie and Braden Powell are finally laid to rest.

Sweet Jesus: Catholic service providers are mum about impact of contraceptive rules on their health plans.

Heavens to Betsy: The fear of lawsuits for rejecting gay-marriage-related business is mostly false.

Amen: That's all. Sorry.

Jesus Children of America: By Stevie Wonder:

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

The Rumor: Ray J Found Dead Whitney

Charles Mudede — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 08:53:20 -0800

MTV:

Following news of Whitney's death today, sources initially reported that Ray was the one who had found the singer dead. Ray J's rep later refuted those allegations.

Now this is something I did not know: Ray J and Houston were an item.

Rumors swirled about the two as early as 2007. Despite the 17-year age difference, they were seen at industry gatherings like Jay-Z and LeBron James' All-Star game party as well as romantic dinners in Los Angeles at hot spots like Crustacean. They would be on-again/off-again for several years and the relationship would be riddled with gossip involving their respective exes.

Who is this Ray J character? I only know him because of Burial. But he is the brother of Brandy ("She got upset, talking about how it was all her fault ... she didn't stop, kept saying how she hit the lady"), a second-rate R&B singer, and mostly famous for fucking Kim Kardashian on tape (NSFS). How hard the mighty fall.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Slog Bible Study: Deuteronomy 21:10-14

Goldy — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 07:00:00 -0800

Deuteronomy 21:10-14
When you go out to war against your enemies, and the LORD your God gives them into your hand and you take them captive, and you see among the captives a beautiful woman, and you desire to take her to be your wife, and you bring her home to your house, she shall shave her head and pare her nails. And she shall take off the clothes in which she was captured and shall remain in your house and lament her father and her mother a full month. After that you may go in to her and be her husband, and she shall be your wife. But if you no longer delight in her, you shall let her go where she wants. But you shall not sell her for money, nor shall you treat her as a slave, since you have humiliated her.

Discuss.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Stranger Tournament of Dunces, Match 4: Rep. Brad Klippert vs. Rep. Bill Hinkle

Eli Sanders — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 06:00:43 -0800

[Click to enlarge.]

Which of these two anti-gay-marriage legislators will move on to the next round of competition in our Tournament of Dunces? (Winner gets a flower from a gay florist, a bacon cheeseburger from Jack in the Box, and their official state portrait on the cover of The Stranger.) Let the voting begin!

Brad "You Wouldn't Believe the Horror" Klippert...

...versus Bill "Remember Holy Russia" Hinkle

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Midnight Haiku

Sarah Galvin — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800

I invited you because I long for a voice of reason, but look at you. You're going to take a bite out of a small mirror and bleed all over everyone. Fortunately the only other thing I long for is pad thai.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

The Women of Georgetown: Art Attack Tonight

Jen Graves — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 17:14:38 -0800

The Stranger
FIERCE Art by Nyky Gomez, showing at American Pie in Georgetown.

When you think of Georgetown, you think of men. First off: George. Second, the burly working-class history of the place. Third, there's the military-industrial-complex-titled ART ATTACK! Which is awesome, and which I love—it is clearly the best art walk besides Pioneer Square's (and is celebrating its fourth anniversary tonight)—but it doesn't put you in mind of the womenz.

This, however, is misleading, as I recently discovered. The artist Julie Baraoh, who recently took over the reins of publicizing Art Attack (Larry Reid of Fantagraphics used to do it), sent me an email a few weeks ago selling me the idea of "the women of Georgetown" as a story. I was reticent. Then I went to visit, and women came out of the woodworks over the course of a two-hour walk through the neighborhood. Three of us lady-snowballed into a whole gang of women. We stopped traffic at least once just by appearing to desire to cross the street, there were so many of us.

The Stranger
THE STABLES Run by independent curator Mary Enslow.

All of which is to say that when you go to Art Attack tonight, you should keep the ladies of Georgetown in mind, too. There's Baraoh, whose Krab Jab Studios is home to three artists and a writer. There's Angielena Vitale Chamberlain, who is in the running for kindest, warmest person on the planet, and who operates Belle Vitale Studio. Chamberlain also founded, in 2007, the Georgetown Arts and Cultural Center, which you have to check out if you haven't already. It's an old union hall-slash-ballroom converted into an exhibition and studio space around the corner from Stellar Pizza on the northern end of Georgetown. Right now at the center, Betty Jo Costanzo—who before moving to Seattle last year was teaching and working mostly as a performance artist in the Bay Area (at Mills and CCAC, among other places)—shows lushly painted landscapes that look like they're in extremely slow motion.

The Stranger
DON'T MISS NAUTILUS An assemblage by Yvette Endrijautzki.

Throughout the neighborhood, women rule as owners, operators, and independent curators at spaces including Calamity Jane's, Stellar Pizza, the Stables, Full Throttle Bottles (where Erika Tedin is reported to be the brassiest woman in Georgetown), the Roving Gallery, Georgetown Trailer Park Mall, Two Tartes Bakery & Cafe (showing photographs from Arts Corps), American Pie (showing collage works by Nyky Gomez), inside the Old Rainier Bottling Plant (ask Mary Tudor about her secret recipe for making her oil paintings roll up without cracking), and Nautilus Studio.

Nautilus is an eccentric home and studio designed to look like a shipwreck. You do not want to miss it. The lady artist behind all this is assemblagist Yvette Endrijautzki (her male partner is Jethaniel Peterka).

Art Attack starts at 6 and runs to 9, but many places are open later. GO!

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Whitney Houston

Paul Constant — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 17:08:30 -0800

The AP is reporting that Whitney Houston is dead, at age 48. There are lots of contenders, but this is my favorite Whitney Houston song. If I were a woman with this kind of range, it would be my favorite karaoke song by a mile:

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

The AP Is Reporting That Whitney Houston Is Dead

Paul Constant — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 17:04:27 -0800

She was 48. Just this morning, the big news was that Houston was approached to be a judge on The X-Factor. Sad news. Read more here, and on Line Out.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Rachel Maddow Uncovered the Secret Ron Paul Strategy

Paul Constant — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 15:48:42 -0800

Rachel Maddow floated a theory that Ron Paul is urging his supporters to stay late at caucuses so that they can vote themselves in as delegates. Once they've become delegates, they can cast their vote for Ron Paul, against the will of the people who voted in their caucuses. A major Ron Paul adviser confirmed that this is the Ron Paul strategy:

..we're tracking this at the precinct level, we think we have the majority of [delegates]. We think we've won in Iowa , we won in Minnesota , we won in Colorado, and Missouri is yet to be seen. And we think we probably won in Nevada , because we're counting the precinct votes. The only thing that I might add; there is nothing wrong or deceptive about this. Anybody can stay. Woody Allen says 80% of success is showing up. Our people show up. And they have a right to do that, and they are committed, and so they are running as delegates at the precinct level to the county convention where they will again run as delegates from the county convention to the state convention.

Here's video:

The problem with Ron Paul's strategy, in many ways, is the problem with Ron Paul's strict Constitutionalist worldview: It's way too literal. There's no way the Republican bosses are going to let this happen. They'll make new rules, they'll ignore the votes, they'll do anything they can to ensure that Ron Paul's delegates don't manage to throw the convention in favor of Ron Paul. It's kind of clever of Paul to try to game the system like this, but I can't imagine the Republican leadership is inept enough to let this kind of mutiny happen*.

* ....right? Surely they're not that inept, right?

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Romney Wins Maine

Paul Constant — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 15:25:06 -0800

The Maine state Republican Party announced that Mitt Romney has won Maine. This is not shocking. The results:

Romney—39%—2,190 votes
Paul—36%—1,996 votes
Santorum—18%—989 votes
Gingrich—6%—349 votes
Other—61 votes

Turnout was way lower than 2008, when Romney won with 2,837 votes.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Romney-Rubio Ticket Declared President of CPAC

Paul Constant — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 15:08:54 -0800

The Conservative Political Action Conference has voted in a straw poll to determine the party's favorite, and that favorite is the same old favorite:

Romney won 38 percent of the 3,408 votes cast in the straw poll, edging Santorum’s 31 percent. Gingrich won 15 percent of the vote and Paul took 12 percent.

I bet if CPAC had been held a month earlier, Newt Gingrich would've had that 31 percent second place, but Santorum is the not-Romney of the moment. CPAC also overwhelmingly chose Marco Rubio as their VP pick, with Chris Christie and Bob O'Donnell way in the rear, tying for second place. And Sarah Palin gave a keynote speech that made her 2008 VP acceptance speech sound liberal in comparison—she got a few good not-so-subtle digs at Romney in there—but if we continue to ignore Sarah Palin, she'll eventually go away, so let's do that.

The CPAC straw poll is essentially meaningless. Ron Paul wins it every non-presidential-election year, and the favorite of the party machine always wins it in presidential election years. Also meaningless? The Maine caucus results, which will be announced in an hour or so. Maine has been caucusing for a week now, so Santorum's Second Coming is unlikely to show up in the results here. The turnout will be low, which favors Romney. A lot of Massachusetts conservatives retire to Maine, too, so he's likely to have some support there, too. In the past few days, pundits have been dreaming of a Ron Paul win in Maine, because he's been campaigning there for a while. I don't think that's likely, but it would be a lovely slap in Romney's face, so let's hope for that result.

In any case, I'll be writing about the Maine results when they come in, right here on Slog. Stay tuned.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Jeremy Lin Saves the NBA

Charles Mudede — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 12:30:37 -0800

I and many other people finally have a reason to watch professional basketball. That reason is Jeremy Lin.

Yes, he is Asian. Yes, the announcer can't stop associating his brilliant athleticism with a high IQ. Yes, race is once again the ground of an athlete's success. But there is no intelligence without a body. There was always only intelligence. The brain, as Spinoza pointed out so long ago, is the idea of the body.

Spike Lee on Lin.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Stranger Tournament of Dunces, Match 3: Rep. Mark Hargrove vs. Rep. Norma Smith

Eli Sanders — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 12:03:12 -0800

[Click to enlarge.]

Mark "A Jack in the Box Commercial Told Me How to Vote Today" Hargrove...

....versus Norma "So Many Questions" Smith

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

‘Pollen and Paint: Laib, Homer, and the Natural World’

Jen Graves — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:00:00 -0800

In early 2001, for just a couple of months, the skylights were opened on the cavernous underground rooms at the Henry Art Gallery... by Jen Graves

In early 2001, for just a couple of months, the skylights were opened on the cavernous underground rooms at the Henry Art Gallery and the sun shone down on one work of art especially: a rectangle of glowing orange pollen, painstakingly collected from hazelnut trees by the artist Wolfgang Laib. People just stared, taking it in as if it were radiating nutrition. Now, the German artist’s piece goes back on view, paired with another work made 125 years earlier, Winslow Homer’s late 19th-century painting An Adirondack Lake, also from the Henry’s collection. The painted scene is set at dusk, when the light is unreal. (Henry Art Gallery, 4100 15th Ave NE, www.henryart.org, 11 am–4 pm, $10)

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Tonight in Music: Mux Mool, Danny Corn, Ghost Feet, DJAO, Hooker, Tower of Power, Brad Paisley, The Band Perry, Scotty McCreery, Atrocity Exhibition, Perpetual Ritual, Red Liquid, Crimewave, Seapony, Dido & Anea

Mike Ramos — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 10:12:54 -0800

Mux Mool, Danny Corn, Ghost Feet, DJAO, Hooker

(Chop Suey) See Data Breaker.

More Info

Tower of Power

(Jazz Alley) See Thursday.

More Info

Brad Paisley, the Band Perry, Scotty McCreery

(Tacoma Dome) There are a few things that will forever retain the ability to make me cry. Dolly Parton's dead-dog anthem "Cracker Jack." Cloris Leachman's performance in the final scene of The Last Picture Show. And a handful of moments scattered across Brad Paisley's 2009 album American Saturday Night. Part of it is where I'm from: Having grown up in emotionally stoic West Texas, I respond to openhearted displays of emotion by good ol' straight boys with almost instantaneous mistiness. When such displays are paired with the wit and concision found in the best of Paisley's songs—American Saturday Night's pro-melting-pot title track, pro-progress anthem "Welcome to the Future," and lifelong love song "Then" (all of which flirt openly with mawkishness and win)—I become nothing but liquid. Bring Kleenex. DAVID SCHMADER

More Info

the invisible hand by //Atrocity Exhibition

Atrocity Exhibition, Perpetual Ritual, Red Liquid, Crimewave

(Highline) Seattle's Perpetual Ritual (Mitchell Saulsberry with a rotating cast of players) compose a sort of murky, droney noise folk that's one of the best takes on the age-old genre in recent memory. Red Liquid's self-described "Nick Cave meets the Swans doing futuristic murder ballads" is a thing to keep an ear on. Atrocity Exhibition take their name from either "an experimental collection of 'condensed novels' by British writer J. G. Ballard" or the Joy Division song, take your pick. GRANT BRISSEY

More Info

Sailing by Seapony

Seapony

(Wildrose) KEXP ass-kicker Sharlese Metcalf is thankfully keeping the Wildrose punk-show dream alive with the monthly night Brush Off. This evening includes dream poppers Seapony, whose live sets may enchant you, even if you don't like their songs on record. This will be a dance party with guitars (the best kind). GRANT BRISSEY

More Info

Theatre of Early Music: Purcell's Dido & Aeneas

(Town Hall) Booziness, boats, a sorceress, a coven of witches, the queen of Carthage, a Trojan refugee, and tragic love: It's amazing this baroque opera doesn't get performed more often. It even has a popular aria, "Dido's Lament," sometimes used on movie and TV scores. It will be a rare treat to hear it by this renowned Canadian group led by countertenor Daniel Taylor. JEN GRAVES

The Hymn by Haunted Horses

White Coward, Mtns, Haunted Horses, Stephanie

(Seasick Halfshell Embassy) All of these DIY local bands playing a DIY Capitol Hill house show is sure to be a righteous all-ages time. White Coward kick out loud, spastic, multidirectional guitar-rock numbers anchored by pummeling drums. Mtns (or MOUNTAINSS) are equally noisy and experimental—a saxophone is even involved here—but add in some slower, heavier drone elements to certain songs to keep you guessing. Haunted Horses, who released compelling four-song EP They Set Us Fevered Water in January, push even further into spaced-out electronic noise but stay rooted in the same punk direction as the other bands here. Stephanie's happily disquieting indie pop should lighten the mood and round out the bill quite nicely. MIKE RAMOS

See also Underage.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

The Saturday Morning News

Dominic Holden — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 09:00:05 -0800

It's Saturday, you guys! Can you believe it?

The Wictims Win: President Obama bows to the American Catholic church by withdrawing the White House's plan to require private employers (including religious organizations, like all those Catholic hospitals) to provide health insurance that covers contraception. Instead, insurance companies will be required to provide that coverage free of charge. The compromise with Catholics may seem like a miracle, considering that Obama is a Muslim. But the red-wing blogs, bloviators, and email alerts were just getting going. It's hard to imagine Obama being able to comfortably skirt this issue while seeking reelection to the White House. Here's the NYT quoting Obama explaining that it was largely a political calculation:

“After the many genuine concerns that have been raised over the last few weeks, as well as, frankly, the more cynical desire on the part of some to make this into a political football, it became clear that spending months hammering out a solution was not going to be an option,” Mr. Obama said on Friday.

My TCW: The religious liberty and conscience argument being raised by the Catholic church, which is ostensibly worried about paying for birth control, (and legislators who are expressing concern about florists and photographers being forced to serve gay couples) has less to do with contraception and gay marriage, and more to do with a clever sleight of hand. No longer is the Catholic Church bullying women and LGBT people, in this framing, they're the victims being forced to forgo their religious convictions. It's a trick and it's working.

Obama Budget: "Raise taxes on the rich and pump nearly $500 billion into new transportation projects over the next decade."

Yup: I'll take the jumper.

In Pressing Media Matters: Five of Murdcoch's people at the Sun tabloid were arrested for allegedly bribing bobbies. And in case you wondered: My worst nightmare is accidentally taking a job that requires me to write this sort of story.

Less Bad: State finds an extra $200 million to shore up $1.5 billion budget shortfall.

WHAT?!!! There is no more news.

I've reached the point in my life where I'm strong enough to say this: I really like Wham!

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Santorum Turns America Brown

Goldy — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 08:54:34 -0800

Bits and pieces of polling data have been oozing out for days, but PPP just released its latest nationwide poll in the Republican presidential nomination race, confirming that "Santorum surges into the lead":

Riding a wave of momentum from his trio of victories on Tuesday Rick Santorum has opened up a wide lead in PPP's newest national poll. He's at 38% to 23% for Mitt Romney, 17% for Newt Gingrich, and 13% for Ron Paul.

Oh, and with Gingrich out of the race, PPP finds that Santorum would lead Romney by an impressive 50 percent to 28 percent margin.

This may be Santorum's first ride atop a national poll, but it isn't the first time Romney has seen his own frontrunner status challenged. And each time, Romney has fought back with a deluge of attack ads. But how exactly does Romney attack Santorum?

Point out that Santorum's Christianist anti-sex agenda is bat-shit crazy? That's what helped propel Santorum into the lead in the first place.

Unlike the previous non-Romney frontrunners, Santorum isn't a philandering hypocrite (Gingrich, Cain) or a deer-caught-in-camera-lights idiot (Bachmann, Perry). He was a K Street shill, sure, but Santorum's personal profiteering was relatively minor by DC standards, and harder to portray as scandalous.

Unlike Gingrich and Romney, Santorum is authentic. He actually believes the horrible words he spews. And that's what the Republican base seems to crave: authenticity. Drop a hundred million dollars in his lap to do to Romney what Romney will now attempt to do to him, and Santorum wins the nomination.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Stranger Tournament of Dunces, Match 2: Rep. Matt Shea vs. Rep. Jason Overstreet

Eli Sanders — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 06:00:00 -0800

[Click to enlarge.]

Matt "My Business Will Not Participate In Gay Marriages Because Florists Are Oppressed and Man I Hate Tulips" Shea...

....versus Jason "Circular Logic Is More Impressive With Long Pauses" Overstreet

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Midnight Haiku

Sarah Galvin — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0800

People get way too drunk at my parties, so instead of providing liquor I’m going to glue some hair to a toilet, and guests can take turns shaving it off. It will be just like that scene in The Graduate where Dustin Hoffman attacks everyone with a giant crucifix, in that no one will be blacked out.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Announcing The Stranger's Tournament of Dunces! Who's the Dumbest Representative in the State House?

Christopher Frizzelle — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:51:57 -0800

[Click to enlarge.]

It's time for a little pre-March Madness madness, gay-marriage-style!! If you're like us, you've been watching the arguments against same-sex marriage in the Washington State House of Representatives and thinking to yourself: Which of these dumbfucks is the dumbest? Let's figure it out!

For you non-sports fans, here's how this works. We're going to start with the eight people you see above. Over the weekend and through the power of Slog polls, you will winnow down the pack to a final four. On Monday morning, those four will square off, and on Monday night, the two finalists will square off. The winner of the Tournament of Dunces will get a flower from a gay florist, a bacon cheeseburger from Jack in the Box, and their official state portrait on the cover of The Stranger. This may be the highest honor of their professional lives!

First match-up (with more to come over the weekend):

Jay "I Don't Know If I Want to Be Here" Rodne...

...versus Jan "Microphone in Hand" Angel:

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Santorum Will Cover Washington on Monday as Governor Signs Marriage Equality Bill

Dominic Holden — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:50:18 -0800

Jim Brunner reports:

Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum is headed to Washington state Monday, planning campaign stops in Olympia and Tacoma, as he fires up his campaign for the March 3 GOP caucuses.

Santorum plans to meet with foes of gay marriage in Olympia in the afternoon, and then will hold a campaign rally at 7 p.m. at the Washington Historical Museum in Tacoma, according to a copy of the plans distributed to state GOP officials.

At 11:30 a.m., Governor Chris Gregoire will sign the marriage-equality bill at her Capitol Building office. What a shit show.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

Short Film Fridays

Charles Mudede — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:29:44 -0800

This week's short is Drew Christie’s “The Man Who Shot the Man Who Shot Lincoln.” Two simple reasons for posting this film: one, it’s weird in a good way (the scene with the scissors will definitely shock you); two, Christie is receiving national attention (his short “Song of the Spindle” screened at Sundance 2012). In the nutty world of animation, being weird is easy, whereas being weird and interesting is not.

The Man Who Shot The Man Who Shot Lincoln from Drew Christie on Vimeo.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

"You wouldn't believe the horror in my daughter's eyes when I asked her: How would you like to have two of me to raise you?" by Republican Representative Brad Klippert

Eli Sanders — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:18:57 -0800

There could be no other reason that Representative Klippert's daughter was horrified at the thought of having two identical Brad Klipperts raising her—each Brad wearing a tie with the American flag and the Statue of Liberty on it, each Brad wearing a black suit jacket over a brown suit jacket, each Brad citing testimony from a 13-year-old girl about the eternal truths to be found in left shoes and right shoes...

Yes, his daughter's horror must have meant that gay marriage shouldn't be legalized.

Rep. Klippert's contact info.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

re: Here's a Mental Image for You

Brendan Kiley — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:13:20 -0800

The Washington State Department of Health has the cause of the "intestinal illness" that broke out at a recent cheerleading competition in Everett: norovirus.

OLYMPIA — Testing at the state Public Health Laboratories confirms that norovirus caused hundreds of illnesses during and after the February 4 state high school cheerleading tournament. Norovirus is typically transmitted person-to-person.

The number of people reporting they suffered vomiting and diarrhea during the event or in the days after is now 229. At least 33 have reported seeking medical care though there have been no overnight hospital admissions. The numbers are expected to grow as state health officials receive answers from surveys that were sent to participants and families.

The Washington State Department of Health is leading the disease investigation, working with local health partners and the Washington Interscholastic Activities Association (WIAA), sponsor of the event in Everett.

As a survivor of a bout or two with norovirus, all I can say is: gross.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]