http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=1064921 Comments On: Savage Love by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Thu, 20 Jun 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Thu, 20 Jun 2013 01:00:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Posted by concerned]]> Mon, 09 Mar 2009 15:20:22 -0700 The Stranger Posted by drae]]> Sun, 22 Feb 2009 21:07:03 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Melanie]]> Wed, 18 Feb 2009 14:20:42 -0800 The Stranger Posted by jimmcanally]]> Wed, 18 Feb 2009 14:15:49 -0800 The Stranger http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EoZ7ZmTk…


Posted by Laughingfox]]> Wed, 18 Feb 2009 14:10:33 -0800 The Stranger Posted by strangedanger]]> Tue, 17 Feb 2009 08:17:55 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Troutdick]]> Thu, 12 Feb 2009 08:15:20 -0800 The Stranger Posted by steven]]> Wed, 11 Feb 2009 19:04:40 -0800 The Stranger
Isn't life easier now?
Posted by Canadian Lady]]> Mon, 09 Feb 2009 22:03:47 -0800 The Stranger Posted by CJ S]]> Mon, 09 Feb 2009 21:32:17 -0800 The Stranger
Don't!! Those tissues are delicate, and pain is a sign that you need to slow down and lube up. If you numb it, you could end up doing damage. Anal fissures: no fun, long term suffering.
Posted by maddy]]> Mon, 09 Feb 2009 21:13:38 -0800 The Stranger
Check our recon.com. There are tons of hot young guys on there looking to meet new guys.

Also, a bar called The Hole (downstairs in Jackhammer at Clark and Devon) tends to attract a pretty happening young kink crowd, and has an awesome... ambiance.
Posted by Inkedskin]]> Mon, 09 Feb 2009 19:12:41 -0800 The Stranger Posted by tzemehrtme]]> Mon, 09 Feb 2009 02:53:02 -0800 The Stranger Creepy old guys? Seriously? Welcome to dating, honey! All women, and a fair number of gay boys, not just kinky ones, have this issue, some throughout their lives- men like sex. They persue it religiousl, even up the wrong tree. It's the way the world works. Does this make these men icky? dirty? nasty? No. So stop opening the gates for the lines! Free them to find the woman/en that wants them too, but quit whining that you "have them lined up around the block." Be clear about what you want- to yourself and others. Understand that some things are trade offs- your kink is gold, but you cant find the right person because you are too needy and judgemental- Narcissistic might be the right word. And many, hordes even, kinky people don't make it to the clubs for a wide variety of reasons- there are LOTS of kinky hot folk here- I would venture more than in the regular dating scene, IMHO. But they , for the most part, are picky and thoughtful. And until you grow up a bit, you will not find them. Your whole attitude screams that you really can't be trusted to be sensitive when necessary. At 22YO you are just finding yourself- give it a little space and time, and leave the denegration of people brave enough to be themselves out of it. It is very difficult to be a middle aged guy of modest looks who is intelligent, thoughtful and sexually aware of himself and society. I have dated a few of these men, and they have a tendency to make up for their deficiencies in excellent ways. Be very careful about what you say- one day you will wake up at 47YO, still kinky, still feeling young and hot, and the words some 22YO has for you will be thoughtless and painful, and for what? So don't be such a twat.
Posted by be kind]]> Sun, 08 Feb 2009 22:45:05 -0800 The Stranger
Anyway, as Rob above stated, once a will is "admitted to probate" (recognized as legally valid), it enters public record. At least in Virginia, there are a few ways to get around this, some better than others:

1) Crudest version: Make your fiancee the residuary beneficiary in your will, i.e., the person who gets everything whose disposition is not specifically provided for in your will. This can be regarding your property in general or regarding a particular class of property (here, chattel property, i.e., tangible property other than real estate, money or other financial instruments, stock certificates, etc.). The point is that by describing a class of property she gets, you don't have to specify every particular thing she gets.

With this approach, there are a few catches: a) She has to be the only residuary beneficiary; otherwise -- for example, if you leave half of the residuum to her and half to someone else -- your estate's executor (or court-appointed administrator if you don't name an executor) will have to go through the property and divide everything up, and the executor will see your "gear" in the process. b) If the executor is someone other than your fiancee, s/he may see everything anyway while inventorying the property for distribution. There are advantages to just making your fiancee your executor in the first place, privacy of this distribution being among them, but if she's also the residuary beneficiary, she'll have a conflict of interest in distributing your estate and might get sued by named beneficiaries, relatives, and/or creditors, and a suit might require publicizing an inventory of your estate. c) Naming her as a beneficiary will raise the question of why you named her, putting on the public record the fact that the two of you had some kind of relationship that inspired you to leave a lot of stuff to her.

2) Next crudest version: In your will, create a "testamentary trust" via which you leave the residuum (see above) of your estate in general or of your persnal property to an attorney or trusted friend as trustee for the benefit of your fiancee. This isn't much better in terms of keeping your fiancee's name off the public record, but it makes the accounting a bit easier.

3) Best idea: Before you die, contact an attorney and establish a trust for the benefit of your fiancee. This trust's terms, which will be private, can be relatively simple and state that all property governed by the trust instrument is to be distributed to her upon your death. (You can also make the trust revocable during your lifetime in case the two of you break up and you want to give the collar, or anything else, to someone else later on.)

For the time being, put in a token amount of money (as little as a dollar) just so the trust will stay in existence.

In your will, include a clause known as a "pour-over" provision, in which you leave the residuum of your estate to the attorney as trustee with instructions to distribute it in accordance with the terms of the trust established on X date (whenever the initial trust was formed). This way, both the terms of distribution and, more importantly, the name of the beneficiary will remain private. Be sure not to explicitly incorporate the trust instrument by reference, or else it will become part of the will and enter the public record; consult an attorney in your jurisdiction to get just the right words for a pour-over clause that maintains sufficient privacy.

Again, this is how it works in Virginia; I'm not sure how it works elsewhere, and since I don't know where NAGL lives, this post shouldn't be construed as legal advice specific to her jurisdiction.
Posted by Esqueer]]> Sun, 08 Feb 2009 08:52:59 -0800 The Stranger Posted by HappySub]]> Sat, 07 Feb 2009 16:52:22 -0800 The Stranger and to think things are even stricter in the rest of the world...
Posted by dinotopia]]> Sat, 07 Feb 2009 13:34:45 -0800 The Stranger
Women are not feline. They are WOMEN.

Why don't you meditate on ways for men to get their house in order before you go telling off women for dressing comfortably.

And as for women abroad, where they are oh so enlightened, does that include Spanish "women" where the age of consent is 13?
Posted by kresblamania]]> Sat, 07 Feb 2009 07:02:48 -0800 The Stranger
O, to be legible!

To have clear spacing between ideas; to end questions with ?s; to be kind to one's reader.

Alas, this loss – these poor dead newlines!

*swoon*
Posted by Not Buying One]]> Sat, 07 Feb 2009 01:04:48 -0800 The Stranger Posted by emily]]> Sat, 07 Feb 2009 00:24:02 -0800 The Stranger
I have a gripe which I thought perhaps shoul be highlighted to best advantage on 'Savage Love'. I have a certain Morbid fascination for your column and never miss an opportunity to turn without preamble to the last pages of Georgia Straight where the latest weekly exposes lurks. It does seem to be a sounding board in which Mr and Mrs Average, whatever their pursuasion might air their objectionable neuroses without fear of rebuke. I am a little shocked that humanity has once more fallen into an abyss of self indulgence if not self abuse. I fully expect that Nero is poised with his fiddle awaiting another opportunity to dance and play as the west burns in homage to sublime decadence. My fear is that humanity has lost the power to imagine and to create and has instead chosen to devour stimulus regardless of its origin or nature but with little satisfactory result- but this is another gripe. I greatly mourn the loss of feminity. I recently returned to Vancouver and was greeted by an immigration official who was young and blond and quite comely but determined to be abrasive and horribly masculine. Why is it that women in this day and age of equality feel that they might achieve equality by selling out to the opposition-this is a tactic that will inevitably end in failure as women are not men and cannot compete in this regard. If only women realised that there is such supreme power in femininity. The pragmatism of masculinity cannot compare with the guile and enchantment of feminity and I am at a loss to know why women feel the need to throw such a gift away. I recently spent some time in Europe, a lot of time in Britain and was bewitched by femininity. I was enchanted by long flowing hair, bewitching cosmetic applications, flattering blouses, dresses and skirts, shapely figures, pretty legs and thrusting breasts. Women proud to be feminine and alluring and with no hint of self consciousness. Why do Canadian women who are, in many cases, exquisitely beautiful, exhibit such a lacklustre appreciation of themselves? Why do they look slovenly and unappetising, baggy sweat pants and T shirts or sweaters?, Conversely why do they dress alternately like hookers, tight jeans and high heels, underwear that looks tortuous. Am I the only male that loath;s and detests thong underwear or lycra shorts worn under short skirts. What is so magical about going out on a shopping spree and buying a new T shirt and/pr jeans? It seems to me that in this new world of female emancipation that women have actually sold out wholesale to the masculine element.They are either afraid to be themselves or are lulled into a false contemplation that to outwit a male is in fact a tactic that panders to the male expectation by attempting to become male thereby banishing all of those delicious feminine attributes. This becomes a conflict in foreign territory while quite disarmed in effect-why does there need to be conflict?. Whatever happened to individuality and feminity? Whatever happened to characters like Elizabeth Montgomery, Yvonne de Carlo, Sleeping Beauty, Grace Kelly, Jane Seymour, Marilyn Monro and so many others. Come on girls, be empowered, be sexy, be chique, be mysterious, be feline, be potent, let your skirts blow up in the wind, fizzle with artifice, crackle with conjuration and mystery but most of all be yourselves.

I am, like my name, attempting to be Frank







Posted by Frank]]> Fri, 06 Feb 2009 22:05:32 -0800 The Stranger
First of all, I wouldn't sweat estate taxes. If you died this year, you would not owe estate taxes unless your estate is valued at over $3.5M (adjusted for taxable gifts made during life).

It is true (as commented by another poster) that property transferred by will must pass through probate, which is a public process. If privacy is a concern, you should transfer the collar during your life either to your partner, or to a trust where your partner is a named beneficiary.

While lifetime transfers can trigger gift tax, you can transfer up to $13,000 to your partner every year without triggering gift tax consequences. If you go over your $13k annual exclusion in a given year, then there is a $1M lifetime exemption to soak up the excess. I'm guessing that the collar is worth less than $13k, so you can give the collar to your gal without having to eat into your $1M lifetime exemption.

In a nutshell, if you are willing to transfer the collar during your lifetime, you can achieve both of your goals, privacy and tax avoidance. And, think about it, if you give the collar to your partner during your lifetime, you could still make her ask for your permission to wear it. /whispers *sizzzzleeerrrrr*
Posted by Jables]]> Fri, 06 Feb 2009 16:21:17 -0800 The Stranger
http://www.orgasmdenial.com/forums/showt…
Posted by . .]]> Fri, 06 Feb 2009 11:14:20 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Tennessee Ladysurfer]]> Fri, 06 Feb 2009 09:43:26 -0800 The Stranger
Psilly Cybin: The upper layers of the skin are dead. If he's looking at his dick, he's seeing dead skin. That said, applying something meant for a small area (your gums) to a large area (a dick) is probably not great for absorption. I'm wondering what sort of toxicity is building up down there.
Posted by DaiGaKu]]> Fri, 06 Feb 2009 08:09:50 -0800 The Stranger