http://www.thestranger.com/SavageLovePodcast/archives/2012/03/27/savage-love-episode-284 Comments On: Savage Love Episode 284 by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Tue, 21 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Tue, 21 May 2013 06:15:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Posted by Brie]]> Thu, 26 Apr 2012 17:16:02 -0700 The Stranger
I love you but think you missed the boat on the Sean Loftus rant. I can't stand Nancy Grace and wrote a nasty feedback item about one of her shows. Would love to see her off the air.

Sean Loftus is not a guy who made a private sex tape, nor someone who made 25 movies vs 1500. His name is not known because he goes by the name Colin O'Neal. A quick search on tlagay.com comes back with 49 movies in which he stars and about another 20 where he is the director/producer/videographer/editor. He has a website, myspace page, and blog. He IS a porn star. This is not something he did when he was young and confused, but a conscious decision he made to enter the biz. He is hot and I would love him in my bed!

Regardless if he is a slut, porn star, whatever, he IS a human being and should not be put through the wringer with the likes of Nancy Grace. Our society is not ready, though, for an ex-pornstar teaching children. And the part that concerned me is that he purportedly transferred ownership of his "porn empire" to someone else so he can claim to be out of the biz but is still very much running his website.

Its easy to cry foul on this, but he knew this would come up and would be a problem. And, I doubt it would be any different a situation if he were female in the same position. My 11th grade english teacher wrote steamy romances and that got around VERY quickly so how could this not! I love my porn and highly respect the guys who get in front of the camera for my pleasure. A former musician or actor in the classroom is likely a good thing. A former pornstar, however non-impacting to the students, is not.....simply for the disruption it will cause!

I was disappointed to ran with the Nancy Grace rant and didn't do a little more homework on this. I would love to see a complete investigative story from you on this! I think only you could do this situation justice.
Posted by JAG]]> Wed, 04 Apr 2012 02:24:54 -0700 The Stranger
If a guy finishes with me (or in me) and I haven't come yet, of course they finish me off! I usually don't even have to ask, and I have never had any complaints. I think you have a skewed sample.
Posted by MichelleZB]]> Tue, 03 Apr 2012 15:35:41 -0700 The Stranger Posted by GGG PhD]]> Mon, 02 Apr 2012 17:06:01 -0700 The Stranger Posted by AFinch]]> Sun, 01 Apr 2012 12:24:35 -0700 The Stranger Posted by chibby]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 11:56:55 -0700 The Stranger - He's pleased that the cousin has renounced her wanton, slutty, whorish tempting of young boys.
- That no good can come from her obsession about her young boy fetish.
- He hopes she will stay away from young boys.
- He hopes Jesus can drive the Jezebel out of her soul, but he doubts it.

Posted by DNash]]> Fri, 30 Mar 2012 10:39:48 -0700 The Stranger
The caller didn't talk about how orgasmic she is, either. Maybe she doesn't come easily and has no faith that he could ever get her to come that way. I had one partner who was great with his hand but not with his mouth; my current partner is the opposite. When you have something that works, sometimes it's hard to invest the time (and risk your partner's disappointment) in trying something else.
Posted by sfgurl]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 22:46:18 -0700 The Stranger
my blog: http://tinyurl.com/7lffd4v
Posted by youngthespian42]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 22:35:15 -0700 The Stranger Posted by can't stop giggling]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 16:28:36 -0700 The Stranger
2. speaking of (weird) physical reactions to arousal: if the sex is reaaally good and the orgasm totally mindblowing i will cry, the better the orgasm, the louder i cry.

3. as a woman who doesn't feel like doing anything, sexual or otherwise, after an orgasm i try to maintain a harmonious sexual relationship by assuring my partner gets off first.
Posted by keksutaja]]> Thu, 29 Mar 2012 08:28:57 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Guilyan]]> Wed, 28 Mar 2012 13:41:47 -0700 The Stranger Posted by agony]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 16:27:40 -0700 The Stranger
If you know you are one of those people (male or female) who doesn't want anything sexual after you come, then you either have to make sure 1) you give your partner an orgasm FIRST or 2) you buck it the fuck up and give your partner an orgasm after you come, somehow, whether that means eating her out or using a toy. For people with low libidos who don't want to be touched "down there", they can usually still stand to use their hands or toys.

But please don't put this back on the woman.
Posted by shurenka]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 13:07:30 -0700 The Stranger
I am also someone who laughs a lot during sex... it's completely uncontrollable, either because I find the touch too ticklish or because I'm nervous and worried about laughing.
Posted by shurenka]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 13:02:17 -0700 The Stranger
I suggest putting a teaser or two onto SLOG, Dan, regarding your new show. I appreciate a little reluctance to over-hype and to shill your cross-platform self--somebody is sure to complain about you being crass, or greedy. But fuck those folks--most of your fans will appreciate having a heads-up to program their own DVR, or to circle the date on their calendar. I know that I very rarely watch MTV, so relying on people to catch promotional ads on that channel is going to miss many people who otherwise would like to watch.
Posted by Functional Atheist]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 11:35:17 -0700 The Stranger
Women and men have very different reactions after their orgasm. Dan really needs to acknowledge this. A lot of women don't understand this, and it's obvious a lot of female callers don't understand this either.
Posted by borfnor]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 11:03:36 -0700 The Stranger
My experiences have been very limited (3 1/2 sex partners and the "1/2" is a guy I gave half a hand job to), but from what I've been involved in, it's rather rare for a woman to be in a position where she can really let go.

I had an argument with a guy last month. He said that women were complicated and would do annoying things like decline to explain their true feelings in a situation. I reminded him that women were usually in relationships with people who were 1) larger than they were, 2) stronger pound for pound, 3) more experienced in fighting, 4) more frequently the breadwinner or the one with financial control, and 5) not as emotionally entangled with the kids (or with the relationship). As a result, women who were unhappy with their partners found themselves in a position where it is often unwise to blurt out negative feelings. There are a lot of incentives to keeping one's mouth shut and hoping something will blow over.

How many completely no-strings-attached relationships am I likely to have? Especially given that most of the time when I want sex, what I really want is much more complicated than sexual gratification. The NSA thing was great while it lasted, but after we'd both bonked ourselves silly a few times, there was no point in continuing and that was that.
Posted by Gamebird]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 11:00:43 -0700 The Stranger Sorry that you had to go through that miserable experience. Your experience with your post-ex-sex fits a lot of files that I used to have, something which came up on a kink-in-women thread some weeks back: that some women can only let go and enjoy themselves if they really don't give a damn what the guy thinks.

I'm glad that things are better for you. Question: how old were you and the first bf when that happened?
Posted by seeker6079]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 09:51:32 -0700 The Stranger
I never laughed again during sex until after my separation, when I had no-strings-attached sex with a friend who was real clear that he was scoring on the available 'recently divorced MILF' and I was real clear this was basically horny spite-my-ex sex. So we were both happy with that, and given that I didn't expect anything long term, nor have much regard for the guy's feelings, I let myself laugh. He didn't freak out, and it was lovely and healing and reassuring to me in a way that nothing had been for a very long time.

I offer this as a warning for the girlfriend of the giggler. Think carefully about the impact of your disapproval of your partner. It took me twenty years to recover from that particular act of my first boyfriend.
Posted by Gamebird]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 09:00:46 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Dragonrose36]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 08:55:45 -0700 The Stranger
I would be crying right now if I wasn't at work. In a couple of months it will be a year since my ex and I broke up. I get asked out all the time, but I am still recovering from that god awful relationship. Please please get out of that relationship right now! My ex was the most loving affectionate person when we started dating. We were good friends for a year before we started dating. That person who you started dating is gone. This is the person he is now, and you don't want to be with that person. That being said, my ex was severely depressed, possibly bipolar. It's still not worth it, even if he is dealing with something, he needs to deal with it on his own.
Posted by dmzzz]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 07:50:49 -0700 The Stranger
1. Dan should've come down harder on her for being a cheating piece-of-shit scumbag. It's worse because she appears to suffer no remorse, has a friend who apparently abets her bullshit, and freely admits that she wouldn't be able to handle her boyfriend doing the same to her.

2. Oh, the list of things she can't do. Dan should've pressured her to give up one of her "needs" - either she can embrace an open relationship or she can STOP CHEATING.

3. I think Dan overestimates the number of cuck guys because they're all writing him, and I think he overestimates the success this girl would have in finding a guy who wants to be cheated on.

4. Instead of that rigmarole, why not work on her jealousy? Jealousy isn't a permanent thing; it can be overcome within the context of a relationship with communication and baby steps. But this bitch doesn't want to do that. She doesn't want to work on herself. She just wants to get everything she wants without any concessions. She's a selfish cunt.
Posted by dchari]]> Tue, 27 Mar 2012 06:52:52 -0700 The Stranger