http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=13454495 Comments On: Savage Love by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Tue, 21 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Tue, 21 May 2013 19:00:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Posted by mjaneman87]]> Fri, 05 Apr 2013 11:55:34 -0700 The Stranger
So a thriving democracy requires bashing different ideas? How come teachers are getting fired for posting anti-gay remarks on their facebooks? Doesnt that mean he wasn't allowed to criticize a certain group....wait, in OUR thriving democracy? There in fact IS a double standard, especially in our media and academia that turns anti gay remarks into bigotry and hatred and anti religion remarks into freedom of speech and expression.
Posted by bobtheslob310]]> Thu, 31 May 2012 18:34:38 -0700 The Stranger Posted by unenlightened]]> Thu, 10 May 2012 23:51:59 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Elsalover]]> Wed, 09 May 2012 19:27:27 -0700 The Stranger
I'd suggest a bit more communication before pulling the plug on the relationship. First, a sit-down talk about how his sexual needs aren't getting met (and neither are hers...no orgasms?!) and what he'd like to see happen going forward (greater frequency, counseling, more experimentation, etc.).

After some weeks or months, if he's still not getting satisfaction, time for another sit-down. This time, point out that we've tried XYZ, but my sexual needs aren't being met. "I really enjoy the non-sexual aspects, but with your permission, I'd like to 'cheat' as we talked about early on. After today, I'll do my best to keep any other partner a complete secret from you, if that's what you want, but I want to know you're really okay with that before I proceed."

He could also ask if there are any other parameters she'd like him to respect (don't fuck my sister or yoga teacher, please), and if she's game, maybe she'd do him the favor of explaining into a cell-phone video their new unique relationship status so that potential FWBs will know he's not a total POS.

Yes, there's a good chance if he goes through all that, he'll wind up just as single and lonely as if he'd taken Dan's advice and DedTMFA, but here are two more opportunities to salvage what's great about the relationship he's so grateful to have found.

Just my two cents.
Posted by SavagedSince1995]]> Sun, 06 May 2012 09:30:53 -0700 The Stranger
She wanted to keep seeing me, I was honest that I didn't have the feelings towards her she had towards me, and we became friends.

Twenty years later, she's with a great guy. He and I are friends, I assume he doesn't know, but I have never asked, because its none of my business.

It all worked out because we were honest with each other and ourselves, that's the key to any relationship (romantic, sexual, or otherwise).
Posted by NotThatRon]]> Sat, 05 May 2012 22:09:30 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Diagoras]]> Fri, 04 May 2012 10:57:38 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Hunter78]]> Wed, 02 May 2012 15:26:36 -0700 The Stranger
If you disagree, tell me something he said about your sacred text that wasn't a description of the text.

Also, you are welcome to disagree with me and attack my beliefs and challenge them. That sort of discourse is the basis of any thriving democracy. If you don't want anybody to lambaste your bible, you need to make sure it stays out of public policy.

When people keep trying to make laws based on those ridiculous fairy tales, I have no recourse but to tear that despicable tome of horror you call the Bible to pieces. I don't want to have to follow the laws laid out by Bronze Age sand dwellers just because you think their particular, idiotic God myth is true.

We don't give a fuck about you living by the laws of the Bible. Go ahead. You're the ones who can't let us live secular lives. We refuse to follow the laws of that evil and immoral book. When you stop trying to force us to, this uncomfortable conversation will end.

I will be perfectly respectful of your irrational and unfounded beliefs once you get them the fuck out of our government.
Posted by shw3nn]]> Wed, 02 May 2012 08:45:50 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Firsttimelasttimevisitor]]> Tue, 01 May 2012 19:51:47 -0700 The Stranger
Well, i have finally learned the lesson, "dont argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and win with experience".

But you are so smart! LOL!
Posted by Firsttimelasttimevisitor]]> Tue, 01 May 2012 19:47:43 -0700 The Stranger "Without recourse means Dan and the homosexual liberals are pushing their ideology and agenda at will."

And Christians aren't? Sure, that's why several states are considering constitutional amendments to outlaw gay marriage. Because Christians are sitting silently on the sidelines while the Gay Juggernaut rolls over the nation. Seriously, get a grip.

"People who see things differently are lambasted, as you have shown, for disagreeing."

While homosexuals are shown the utmost in deference and respect by the Christian community. Yeah right. "Abomination," "pervert," "sick," "disgusting," "diseased," "insane," "filthy," are all intended as polite conversation when Christians use them to refer to homosexuals.

Dan talks, you talk back. You talk, Dan talks back. You have exactly as much "recourse" as he does on that score. Meanwhile he has a whole lot less practical and legal ability to live his life on a level playing field with you.

"stop playing the victim and pushing your crap."

Playing the victim? You do know that gay people do still get killed in this country just for being gay? That they get thrown out of jobs and housing (including their own parents' homes) for being gay? And that's PLAYING the victim?

If anybody is PLAYING the victim, it's you, you pathetic whiner. You sound just like the schoolyard bully who objects when teacher makes you stop spitting on the nerd.
Posted by avast2006]]> Tue, 01 May 2012 17:52:34 -0700 The Stranger Posted by mygash]]> Tue, 01 May 2012 17:52:33 -0700 The Stranger Posted by I'm a stranger]]> Tue, 01 May 2012 16:54:15 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Firsttimelasttimevisitor]]> Tue, 01 May 2012 15:33:55 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Firsttimelasttimevisitor]]> Tue, 01 May 2012 15:26:38 -0700 The Stranger Posted by chibby]]> Tue, 01 May 2012 11:54:20 -0700 The Stranger
Posted by shw3nn]]> Tue, 01 May 2012 08:05:56 -0700 The Stranger
Mean ol' Danny, just look at whats he done to the poor widdle Christians, and they can't even raise their voices to complain, let alone get anythings the way they want it. Big mean Danny has made it so good Christian men and women can't even marry each other, because everyone knows that "Christian marriage" (as distinct from just plain "marriage") is an abomination. Big mean Danny has made it so that gays beat Christians with baseball bats for daring to hold hands in public. Big mean Danny has convinced the whole country to not vote Christians into public office, because everybody knows that what Christians do in the privacy of their own bedrooms makes them so twisted that they can't be trusted with civic office. Poor hapless candidates have to go around making statements to convince the voters that they are the gayest person running.

When the biggest, strongest, most vocal, most powerful majority in the country starts acting like they are all threatened and oppressed by a minority that makes up somewhere between 1.5 and 5 percent of the population, "bullshit" and "pansy-assed" are entirely appropriate responses. "Projection" and "martyr complex" hit the target pretty squarely too.
Posted by avast2006]]> Mon, 30 Apr 2012 23:40:08 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Maranatha]]> Mon, 30 Apr 2012 23:12:53 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Maranatha Christiscoming]]> Mon, 30 Apr 2012 23:10:07 -0700 The Stranger I really appreciate everyone for all of the advice and time you took to offer it. That really means a lot to me. I still have mixed emotions here. I'm not sure what my course of action will be but I don't remember saying the sex was "great" so I won't be doing that again. I just feel ... well stupid because I ignored several red flags just because I found someone that I felt some chemestry with. After the first time we met I would catch myself thinking about him and a huge smile would come accross my face, that's something I have never fellt before. I believe that every one comes into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When they come into your life for a reason, learn from it and move on. I sure did learn a lot, not really what I wanted to but ... I will be OK! Well anyway I guess I am done. Thanks again to everyone :)
Posted by disappointed]]> Mon, 30 Apr 2012 23:08:24 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Enough-is-Really_Enough]]> Mon, 30 Apr 2012 23:07:38 -0700 The Stranger You target an audience that you know you have some control over. What did you try to prove when you called out that group of kids that walked out on you, during YOUR demonstration of gay rights? You did prove one thing to me and I can’t say I’m the smartest guy on the planet so I’m sure many share my thoughts… You showed how much of a “pansy-ass” you were by calling out those who stood up for what they believed in. Those people you spoke to were teenagers and you knew that- how old are you? Oh, yeah that’s right, you’re 47 about to hit 50 and you’re calling teenagers “pansy-assed”… wow! You tried to apologize for your “pansy-assed” comment, which we know was directed towards those teenagers and not the action (again I’m not the smartest creature on the planet).

Posted by jDeV]]> Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:34:06 -0700 The Stranger
Physical and/or verbal attacks, usually repeated endlessly (and by groups) against one or a few.

To equate dissenting discourse with bullying is mind boggling. Of course if you've never been the target of the taunts, threats, and physical abuse that so many in our society have experienced, you wouldn't understand because you couldn't be bothered to notice. I won't go so far as saying the majority can't be bullied by the minority, but it is difficult to believe; one gay guy points out moral inconsistencies in the bible, and suddenly he's threatening all of Christianity? If that's all that is required to shake your faith...

Peace.
Posted by Married in MA]]> Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:14:19 -0700 The Stranger