http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=14594565 Comments On: Savage Love by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Mon, 20 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Mon, 20 May 2013 00:30:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss
That's nuts. I'd say "completely fucking nuts" except that at very low doses it is only a little bit nuts, but low doses won't stay low due to tolerance. There are serious problems using clonazepam long-term. See, e.g.:

http://benzo.org.uk/ (read this!)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benzodiazep…
http://www.steadyhealth.com/Bad_withdraw…

I wonder if another, milder sedative might do the trick? Still, it can't hurt to try chamomile tea or something, which is actually related to clonazepam but GRAS (and, incidentally, rather pleasant to administer).
Posted by something]]> Thu, 06 Sep 2012 10:07:50 -0700 The Stranger freerepublic.com sometime and leave @174 alone.
Posted by uncelestial]]> Wed, 05 Sep 2012 16:24:16 -0700 The Stranger
That said, can we get back to telling people that they obviously don't know how to think, as evidenced by their poor spelling (or more likely, poor typing)?
Posted by avast2006]]> Wed, 05 Sep 2012 15:16:42 -0700 The Stranger Posted by uncelestial]]> Wed, 05 Sep 2012 14:08:44 -0700 The Stranger Posted by uncelestial]]> Wed, 05 Sep 2012 14:06:33 -0700 The Stranger
When I posed my question, I thought this was simply a case of blatant idiocy. Then I thought, he must be serious. Lo and beyond, "hir" is a gender neutral possessive. One of many such poorly known artificial coinages.

But he is always he. Her retreats into hir. Why the diminution of the female, and not the male? Your Post @174 is one of the most crassly sexist writings I've ever seen.

I believe all Indo-European languages have gendered pronouns. Many extend gender into every object, because they find it useful to have a richer variety of pronouns. People vote language with spoken and written words. We'll see how successful your steerage will be.

The Gender Studies fanatics who think we need a genderless pronoun fail to recognize we already have one.

In Horstman's world, only he's survive.


Posted by Hunter78]]> Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:22:38 -0700 The Stranger Posted by EricaP]]> Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:04:48 -0700 The Stranger
Posted by Hunter78]]> Tue, 04 Sep 2012 14:55:44 -0700 The Stranger
Although I go back to my point that having an extra room to move to is a luxury not everyone has.
Also, so far the sleepwalkers have only been disturbing those nearest and dearest to them, and sexually. But if they decide to go for a drive or dream about using a big knife, or whatever, the original problem still exists and is not affected by different bedrooms.
Posted by nocutename]]> Tue, 04 Sep 2012 14:42:43 -0700 The Stranger Thank you for a very sensible post!

Posted by migrationist]]> Tue, 04 Sep 2012 10:27:23 -0700 The Stranger
That is not to minimize nor dismiss any sense of violation RAPIST's boyfriend is feeling. He was certainly violated, but there isn't any culpability to assign (sometimes, bad things happen and no one is at "fault"). Obviously the boyfriend is in a bad spot right now, but I agree with Dan that trying to pin this on RAPIST is an asshole move (perhaps an understandable one, but still assholish). This is true irrespective of whether RAPIST is male or female or neither - rape is not specifically traumatic only if one is penetrated, and men have every right to sexual and bodily autonomy. The comments dismissing female-on-male rape are particularly odious.
Posted by John Horstman]]> Tue, 04 Sep 2012 09:25:10 -0700 The Stranger
LW #2, the guy should be counting his blessing his lady wants him that much that she mounts him in his sleep. Hell, I'd be complimented majorly if that were me, maybe...

LW #3, BUMMED revisited: For some people, it's just hard to open up and be vulnerable to sharing with your partner what it is you're really into. Buttplay with a finger is nothing. If the guy wasn't ploughing his girl and was getting a b.j., she may very well do a gentle reach around and tweak his brown star to make his oral sex experience that much more heightened...

That, and the pillow-in-the-face move probably has dashes of twisted humor and dominance fantasies lurking underneath. A finger in your ass, especially if it's your own hand, is no big deal. That's about as a gay as a man masturbating himself, and most, if not all men, masturbate. The BUMMED guy is worrying too much. The bigger issue is the face-pushing and whatnot.

Cheers :-) .
Posted by The Soul Love Boogie ;-)]]> Tue, 04 Sep 2012 09:24:41 -0700 The Stranger
It doesn't work that way. Without the med, whether it's dangerous or not, the patient still has a problem with sleep. The question is how big a problem is the sleep-fucking versus how big a problem is the drug that might cure it. Risk/benefit. We make these calculations in our daily lives all the time.

In the case of the letters in this week's column, I'm inclined to wonder if sleeping in separate locked rooms might be the thing to try first since the people with the sleep disorders don't seem to be endangering themselves, only their relationships. But that's MY risk/benefit analysis, and I've admitted to knowing nothing about the problem and the cure. This is something where the risk and benefits have to be looked at by the people involved.
Posted by Crinoline]]> Tue, 04 Sep 2012 07:37:45 -0700 The Stranger
Lader, Malcolm. Benzodiazepines revisited - will we ever learn? Addiction, 2011. ("The practical problems with the benzodiazepines have persisted for 50 years, but have been ignored by many practitioners and almost all official bodies. The risk–benefit ratio of the benzodiazepines remains positive in most patients in the short term (2–4 weeks) but is unestablished beyond that time, due mainly to the difficulty in preventing short-term use from extending indefinitely with the risk of dependence.")

Cook, Joan, et al. Physicians Perspectives on Prescribing Benzodiazepines for Older Adults: A Qualitative Study. JGIM, 2007. ("The potential negative side effect profile and toxicity of benzodiazepines on older adults has been well established. Problems associated with benzodiazepine use by the elderly include sleep disturbance, cognitive difficulty, impairment in activities of daily living, motor vehicle crashes, and gait concerns (e.g., accidental falls and fall-related fractures).
Guidelines defining the appropriate use of benzodiazepines in the elderly recommend prescriptions be intermittent, brief, and for purposes of acute symptom relief. Despite guide- lines, benzodiazepine use in older adults remains high with a mean current prevalence of 12.3% (ranging from 9.5% to 20%) in community-dwelling populations. Continuous use is deemed high and likely reflects unnecessary or suboptimal treatment.")

Ashton, Heather. Benzodiazepines: How they work and how to withdraw. 2002. http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/
Posted by Servilia]]> Tue, 04 Sep 2012 05:47:58 -0700 The Stranger
Posted by nocutename]]> Tue, 04 Sep 2012 04:52:56 -0700 The Stranger
I can't see how separate beds would help. If hubby can move around enough to stick his dick in his wife's mouth while she's trying to sleep, chances are he can get up and walk to another bed as well. But I could be wrong.
Posted by sleepwalker]]> Mon, 03 Sep 2012 22:50:23 -0700 The Stranger
Apparently, I'm a sexomniac. In my case, I get intensely affectionate, with lots of kissing, caressing, and nuzzling all over. I inevitably wake up before things go any further. I can also vaguely remember what I feel like during the episode - completely consumed with lust and passion for the woman next to me, like it's impossible to get enough of her.

My female partners have all considered it amusing and kind of sweet. Then again, I wasn't hurting them like the LW, and it doesn't happen very often.
Posted by seandr]]> Mon, 03 Sep 2012 19:51:39 -0700 The Stranger a knowledgeable doctor who is willing to prescribe a low dose of one of the benzodiazepines (such as clonazepam) to take before bedtime

This is crap advice. No doctor will prescribe a daily dose of clonazepam because the patient would become addicted within 3 weeks.

Just sleep in separate beds.
Posted by seandr]]> Mon, 03 Sep 2012 19:18:46 -0700 The Stranger Posted by MinnySota]]> Mon, 03 Sep 2012 14:31:26 -0700 The Stranger Thanks for talking about it.
Posted by Eileenorth]]> Sun, 02 Sep 2012 23:18:37 -0700 The Stranger

Posted by spellcaster]]> Sun, 02 Sep 2012 21:14:22 -0700 The Stranger Professor, I don't think you have had any experience with sleepwalkers. They don't lie peacefully sleeping (well, they do, at times, but why you would want to attack them then, I don't know). When they are sleepwalking, they behave as if they were awake, except that their minds aren't conscious. So they fight back, but they don't stop and think about doing harm to the other person. They also don't think about bringing harm to themselves, which is usually the biggest problem with somnambulism. More people harm themselves than others while sleepwalking.

The first letter writer's husband performs painful sex acts on her occasionally while he sleeps. He is her husband--presumably she loves him (and he, her). Would you counsel her to attack him in his peaceful, non-combative sleep as a preemptive measure? How often should she do this: every night? Once every two hours? Why-- just to show him who's boss? No message will "sink in" to him for the next time he sleeps because HE'S ASLEEP when he attacks.

If you mean for her to do these things while he's attacking her, you have to remember that HE'S ATTACKING HER when he does them. Probably not going to go over well, with someone bigger, stronger, and lacking consciousness or conscience.
Posted by nocutename]]> Sun, 02 Sep 2012 20:02:01 -0700 The Stranger
I didn't say it never happened, I said it was very uncommon. I'm not sure what the stats on parasomnia are but I'd bet that the number of cases of sleepwalking bad enough to warrant treatment is dwarfed by the number of anxiety disorders and other disorders typically treated by benzos.

Which is kind of the point.
Posted by mydriasis]]> Sun, 02 Sep 2012 16:13:42 -0700 The Stranger Posted by corey trevor]]> Sun, 02 Sep 2012 13:58:48 -0700 The Stranger
From Medscape: http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/29…

"The drugs most commonly used to treat parasomnias are benzodiazepines and anticonvulsants. [...] Currently, no medications are available that are specifically indicated for these disorders; all medications used for these disorders are used off label."

"Treatment for rapid eye movement (REM) sleep behavior disorder is initiated with clonazepam 0.5-1.5 mg taken at bedtime. This medication has been shown to be beneficial in the long term."

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/86296…

"Long-term, nightly benzodiazepine treatment of injurious parasomnias and other disorders of disrupted nocturnal sleep resulted in sustained efficacy in most cases, with low risk of dosage tolerance, adverse effects, or abuse. "
Posted by cockyballsup]]> Sun, 02 Sep 2012 12:50:43 -0700 The Stranger