http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2012/12/03/sl-letter-of-the-day-possible-side-effects Comments On: SL Letter of the Day: Possible Side Effects by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Fri, 24 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Fri, 24 May 2013 02:15:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss
@38 jujubee80 I've found that, when in a less than ideal mental health, the responsible thing to do is say from starts : "Look, I like you a lot, I can see something happening between us, but be aware that I'm treated for so and so and that I'm currently not stable relationship material. I'll quite understand if you'll pass this opportunity. But if you don't pass, bear in mind that whatever will happen, will probably be short term ; I'm not able to deal with real relationships for now".

And run from people who tell you that they trust you and will stick around for you however sick you are, until you're changed - those people are only looking for a providential sick to cure, in a narcissistic way.
Posted by sissoucat]]> Thu, 06 Dec 2012 13:14:30 -0800 The Stranger
But I ESPECIALLY resent people calling this woman "borderline" when the hallmark traits of splitting (alternating between loving and hating people) and problems with object constancy are not present in this letter.

Whether or not amnesia is possible for any mental illness, or side effect thereof, please leave diagnoses to the trained professionals, mkay?
Posted by shurenka]]> Tue, 04 Dec 2012 20:39:38 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Belle Starr]]> Tue, 04 Dec 2012 10:25:18 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Whoop Di Doo]]> Tue, 04 Dec 2012 09:40:36 -0800 The Stranger Posted by suddenlyorcas]]> Tue, 04 Dec 2012 08:54:36 -0800 The Stranger Matter of fact, I think I will just walk now. nothing but new content for me and I will only check in occasionally. sorry, dan but there is a limit to suckerdom.
Posted by seeker6079]]> Tue, 04 Dec 2012 08:47:26 -0800 The Stranger If he didn't run for his life in '07, he's probably dead by now. Why do people get involved with these types? My little brother seeks out the nut-cases like this, then wonders why he gets screwed....every single time.
Posted by OutInBumF]]> Tue, 04 Dec 2012 08:37:50 -0800 The Stranger
I spent 4 years with a guy with DID trying to help him, trying to 'save what we had'. It was a living nightmare and I learned a hard lesson (many actually)--crazy is contagious. After awhile their bizarre stories seem normal-if you have to do mental gymnastics to make yourself (temporarily) believe your partner isn't cheating--they are cheating.

This isn't a blanket statement not to date those with mental issues (hell I'm on meds for anxiety and depression now). But it's really necessary for people to be in a healthy place to be relationship material.

God I hope Dan finishes the book soon.....
Posted by jujubee80]]> Tue, 04 Dec 2012 05:19:12 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Friendstastegood]]> Tue, 04 Dec 2012 00:32:17 -0800 The Stranger Posted by my boyfriend has bipolar and would never cheat on me]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 21:48:45 -0800 The Stranger
People with bipolar disorder can be hypersexual, impulsive, and downright foolish when they're manic, but I've never seen or heard of someone forgetting that many things. She told you to check her email because she thought you wouldn't really do it; she was wrong; now she's lying her ass off and then playing the victim.
Posted by mtnlion]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 20:43:37 -0800 The Stranger Posted by this guy I know in Spokane]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 17:26:54 -0800 The Stranger
Also, I've never felt happier to have the type of bipolar disorder (type II) with the hypomania and severe depression.
Posted by John Horstman]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 15:17:53 -0800 The Stranger Posted by shmelse]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 15:16:13 -0800 The Stranger
Run.
Posted by sissoucat]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 14:55:04 -0800 The Stranger
RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
Posted by Tilted]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 14:36:53 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Tilted]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 14:31:34 -0800 The Stranger
I learned the hard way, but you shouldn't have to. Trust is the most important part of a solid relationship, period. It's clearly not something she can give you (even if she legitimately wanted to, she has just proven she's not capable of it), and trust should be something you consider to be non-negotiable.
Posted by blackgambit]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 14:23:10 -0800 The Stranger Posted by wxPDX]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 13:22:09 -0800 The Stranger Posted by avast2006]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 13:10:04 -0800 The Stranger Posted by xjuan]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 12:43:16 -0800 The Stranger Posted by TheMisanthrope]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 12:21:36 -0800 The Stranger
Thank you for working as hard as you sometimes must to behave decently. I appreciate all the people in the world who try to not be assholes.
Posted by six shooter]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 12:19:47 -0800 The Stranger Posted by gpguy]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 12:09:16 -0800 The Stranger
I happen to have BPD and I resent you telling people to run from people like me. This girl is nothing like me at all. I have never cheated, or lied and claimed I have amnesia - I just get sadder more easily than most folks. Not all people with the same illnesses are the same. I'm still friends with all of my exes and they have nothing bad to say about or time together.
Posted by Tiffy]]> Mon, 03 Dec 2012 12:08:49 -0800 The Stranger