http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/01/12/im-a-cryer-too Comments On: I'm a Cryer Too by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Wed, 19 Jun 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Wed, 19 Jun 2013 07:30:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss
I'm not a native speaker but I understood your meaning the first time around. I don't think it's uncommon for parents to check with their conscience how unconditional their love of their children is, especially if they've been around people who use psychological violence to manage their kids. I've heard mothers say to kindergardeners "pick that up or Mommy won't love you anymore". It's appalling.

If one of my kids had committed a murder, I think I would still love him/her but I would be the one bringing them to the police. But I hope it never happens.
Posted by sissoucat]]> Mon, 14 Jan 2013 00:54:13 -0800 The Stranger @15, perhaps I wasn't as clear as I intended to be. I certainly didn't mean to imply that I equate disturbed, psychopathic murderers with gay people.
I meant that inherent in the very notion that what Jeanne Manford did was remarkable, as well as in the testimonials of many people, some right here in this comment thread, is the idea that some parents love their children conditionally.

That is not only incredibly sad to me, but a completely foreign concept to me. At first I was going to say that my love is 105% unconditional, but then, in the spirit of total truthfulness, I asked myself under what circumstances I would stop, if not loving, at least supporting my children--and the only thing I could come up with was if they deliberately and savagely took the lives of others to satisfy some urges within themselves. But even then, I think I would love the young child inside the murderer.

I am dismayed and mystified, but sadly no longer surprised that any parent could turn love off for his/her child because of that child's sexual orientation or identity. I didn't mean to insult anyone.

And I'm dismayed, though I shouldn't be surprised, that someone is so willing to distort my meaning to one of bigotry and insensitivity.
Posted by nocutename]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 22:29:42 -0800 The Stranger Posted by rob!]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 18:18:09 -0800 The Stranger
Posted by nocutename]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 14:15:44 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Michael of the Green]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 14:11:49 -0800 The Stranger But this is a woman and a story and a movement really worth crying about. How simple an act, to embrace and love your child, yet how brave and apparently infrequent.
My heart goes out to all of those here and everywhere whose parents couldn't see that you were the same people they had always known and loved, no matter who you fall in love with or want to have sex with. You deserve more/better from your parents.

I'm a straight mother of two girls, (13 & 18) whom I think are straight. But I cannot imagine that my love for them would be affected at all if they came out as gay, bi, trans, whatever. My love is probably conditional, in that if I was the mother of a Jeffery Dahmer, or a Ted Bundy, or a John Wayne Gacy, I don't know how I'd be able to love or to support my kid. But even then, I think I would love the child that he had been.

Jeanne Manford speaks for me in her unconditional loving acceptance and support of her child. But the fact that her public statement of love and support went from being a personal one to a movement which helped change so many minds and attitudes is inspiring. She sounds like a candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize to my mind.
Posted by nocutename]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 10:30:16 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Samuel]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 21:19:30 -0800 The Stranger To be fair, my folks weren't really interested in too much about any of their kids- just 'hurry up and grow up so we can get you out of the house and resume our life'.
Posted by OutInBumF]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 20:38:22 -0800 The Stranger Posted by TheOtherWoman]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 19:29:36 -0800 The Stranger
http://www.npr.org/2013/01/12/169223070/…
Posted by rob!]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 17:35:30 -0800 The Stranger Posted by silvertears]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 13:55:36 -0800 The Stranger
Since then my parents have remained active with PFLAG. They are more influential than many of us realize. It is pretty easy for a conservative legislator to dismiss me when I demand equal rights. It is a lot harder for a legislator to dismiss a parent organization who demands equal rights for their children.

You will be missed, Jeanne Manford.
Posted by Reverse Polarity]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 13:31:04 -0800 The Stranger Posted by olechka]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 12:57:39 -0800 The Stranger
It's interesting by comparison that the arc of Jeanne's idea, from that first pride parade to national prominence on the Today show, was five or six years.
Posted by rob!]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 12:56:07 -0800 The Stranger Posted by originalcinner]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 10:51:40 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Michael of the Green]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 10:51:32 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Pope Peabrain]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 10:17:07 -0800 The Stranger
I'll stop w/ the pity party now. ;) RIP Ms. Jeanne: thanks for all the help & love you shared w/ the world. "Just another shade.." How brilliantly put.
Posted by Eva Hopkins]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 10:10:04 -0800 The Stranger Posted by SeattleKim]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 10:06:38 -0800 The Stranger