http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/01/20/sl-letter-of-the-day-shes-a-very-kinky-girl Comments On: SL Letter of the Day: She's a Very Kinky Girl by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Wed, 22 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Wed, 22 May 2013 05:45:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Posted by Catface Meowmers]]> Tue, 22 Jan 2013 06:36:59 -0800 The Stranger Posted by TheMisanthrope]]> Mon, 21 Jan 2013 08:00:38 -0800 The Stranger Posted by DrReality]]> Mon, 21 Jan 2013 05:18:07 -0800 The Stranger Posted by milemarker]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 23:43:59 -0800 The Stranger
Bull fuckingshit. What's the purpose in not mentioning the sexual relationship? You're not holding hands, you're getting blown. Underplaying it is disrespectful to both ladies.
Posted by agreed that the dude isn't as interesting as he thinks]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 22:18:11 -0800 The Stranger Posted by wxPDX]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 20:16:58 -0800 The Stranger Do you think a woman who is willing to clean his house and blow him multiple times a week to whom he has made clear it's not going to ever be serious is going to be shocked when he meets someone else? Any more than he'd be shocked if she did? Dan didn't tell him to tell her he was going to drop her then keep up the relationship until he drops her. He told him to make it a clean considerate kind break up, invite her over, tell her, done. If it doesn't work out with new girl he can always try starting up with her again.
And don't you think new gf should know bf is seriously into his kinks and has been able to indulge them in the past to a significant degree, and will likely wish to do so again when he is with her in the future needs to know that ASAP before she gets all emotionally attached? That she has some realistic idea of the scope of it? He's a dom. She should know. If he likes sex slave play, she should know. At that point, if it were me, I'd ask if he'd had a sex slave before, or if he wanted me to do that for him and what it would entail. If it's important to him (and I can't imagine it wouldn't be) she should know that's on the table very close to the beginning.
I'd guess there's a lot of people out there who have had fuck buddies. This is kinda like that. All parties are kinky so that's not adding anything scary to the mix, just should be discussed so they know it's a good match.
I guess I don't see a good reason to not discuss it up front. It spares everyone pain, including and especially tender new gf.
Posted by gnot]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 18:15:43 -0800 The Stranger
I'd say with the new gal, if and when it comes up, a simple "there's a friend I see sometimes" would suffice. Spare her the graphic details; she doesn't need that in her head. And his current partner doesn't really need to know anything about this might-become-his-real-girlfriend person. Later, if it does develop into something: "I've met someone."

All respect to Matisse, but I think her advice here might be informed by the fact that she is a polyamorous female. There's no indication that this guy is poly; he's a straight dude with a fuckbuddy (who happens to be submissive). Due to guys' horniness and all-sex-is-good-sex attitude, women--like Matisse--tend to have more latitude to be "open and honest" (especially if they are hot). Consider the difference between a woman telling a man, "I want to come over twice a week, screw you, and leave, no questions asked," and a man telling a woman the same thing....
Posted by Adversary]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 17:49:24 -0800 The Stranger http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/4…
Posted by sirkowski]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 17:41:21 -0800 The Stranger Posted by seandr]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 17:18:34 -0800 The Stranger

Posted by nocutename]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 16:50:44 -0800 The Stranger
Hugely formative, in a very good way. *grin*
Posted by dianasquiver]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 15:08:29 -0800 The Stranger Perhaps this is my straightgirl ignorance, but would even young Dan have qualified as a twink? I picture twinks as pretty, hairless blondes, and skinny - like Terry used to be before he got all buff.


Posted by Velvetbabe]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 14:41:30 -0800 The Stranger
Ash Heap, here we come....
Posted by we all fall down]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 14:36:09 -0800 The Stranger
Agree with @8 that some 90's era reruns would be highly entertaining.
Posted by mikethehammer]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 13:16:46 -0800 The Stranger
Even antique ones, from when Dan was a college kid writing advice... that would be really fun. Plus pics of Dan in college for the spank bank.

Before teh interwebs, according to wikipedia...

Back when men were real men, gays were real gays, and Dan was rude & sassy & a twink.
Posted by delta35]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 13:09:43 -0800 The Stranger Posted by delta35]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 13:03:14 -0800 The Stranger
Flower
Posted by Flower]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 12:54:01 -0800 The Stranger
And best wishes to my old friend MM.
Posted by Ballard Pimp]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 12:10:09 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Dan Savage]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 11:32:52 -0800 The Stranger Posted by seatackled]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 11:02:05 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Pope Buck I]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 10:50:18 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Keey]]> Sun, 20 Jan 2013 10:48:20 -0800 The Stranger