http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=5007055 Comments On: Savage Love by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Wed, 22 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Wed, 22 May 2013 11:30:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Dan is right not to "church it up" with a big word! It's just one awkward kid (video game boy) his girlfriend who needs to find a man to have an actual sexual relationship with and this clueless dude writing in who is being used as a vibrator.... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...Maybe she ought to be with the guy who actually can stimulate her AND gives a damn enough to help her arrive at a pleasurable outcome.
How is their sex life WITHOUT the letter writer's involvement? There's the answer, right there.
Posted by Frederica Bimble]]> Wed, 19 Jan 2011 18:25:32 -0800 The Stranger Posted by SMH]]> Mon, 08 Nov 2010 20:21:38 -0800 The Stranger
You both rock, and Mr. Savage Sr., your post just made me cry out of joy. Thank you for raising Dan to be himself. If we had more parents like you, this world would be much better.

Love and rockets,
Matthieu
Posted by Matthieu]]> Sun, 10 Oct 2010 22:08:27 -0700 The Stranger
P.S. the video you and your husband did was wonderful and touching.
:)
Posted by L3CH3]]> Sun, 10 Oct 2010 06:48:26 -0700 The Stranger Posted by charley]]> Wed, 06 Oct 2010 19:37:07 -0700 The Stranger
Sir, you must deserve much of the credit for raising such a good one. Thanks very much for your comment.
Posted by WeeblesWobble]]> Tue, 05 Oct 2010 14:37:09 -0700 The Stranger
JOIN "WANK AGAINST CHRISTINE O'DONNELL" A project dedicated to masturbating against tea partier Christine O'Donnell.
Posted by waco]]> Tue, 05 Oct 2010 03:00:24 -0700 The Stranger http://www.slate.com/id/2263470/
This points to the the complexity of dealing bullying; it isn't just a dichotomous phenomenon where there are only aggressors and victims.

Dan isn't trying to solve all bullying here he's trying to give gay teens hope.
Gay teens are at a far greater risk for suicide and it is completely appropriate for the focus of this project to be on them. If you are unhappy with the myriad of programs that focus on ending bullying and teen suicide I'd suggest you start your own project that has a more general focus.
Posted by clarity]]> Mon, 04 Oct 2010 23:04:29 -0700 The Stranger Posted by meg378]]> Mon, 04 Oct 2010 22:05:07 -0700 The Stranger Posted by espy_oz]]> Mon, 04 Oct 2010 02:16:45 -0700 The Stranger
They also had to choose a power word and she chose free. Seeing the emotion she felt with that word really moved me and as superficial as most of the show can be, that episode really highlight diversity and how it should be valued.
Posted by A supportive person]]> Sun, 03 Oct 2010 18:27:39 -0700 The Stranger Posted by VegQueen]]> Sun, 03 Oct 2010 18:24:46 -0700 The Stranger
Indiana's rough. The 'normal' young people try like hell to get out as soon as they can, so it would suck to be a sexual minority.
Posted by SleepingWithNannyState]]> Sun, 03 Oct 2010 16:40:42 -0700 The Stranger Being young and slutty isn't exotic - it's normal behavior. Good times, good times.
CTOACN sounds like a bit of a pussy, as does the 'cuckold'.
Either steal the girlfriend or stop fingerbanging her, shithead.
Posted by SleepingWithNannyState]]> Sun, 03 Oct 2010 16:37:33 -0700 The Stranger
There's nothing wrong with that per se, but it ignores the reality that high school for a lot of people (myself included) is/was hellish.

You do NOT have to be gay to get bullied in high school. You don't even have to be black (or some other minority) in a predominantly white school. You just have to be a teeny-tiny bit different.

In my high school, if you weren't Mormon, if you were being raised by a single parent, and especially if you were poor -- you got beat down regularly by the popular/athletic "in" crowd.

How about instead of telling GLBT teens it gets better, you tell ALL the kids that?

Case in point:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010…
Posted by (still) Grrrl]]> Sun, 03 Oct 2010 15:40:04 -0700 The Stranger
Oh yeah! Thanks to Dan too!!
Posted by gbrooks]]> Sun, 03 Oct 2010 00:29:38 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Sarah in Olympia]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 23:07:23 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Daphtpunk]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 15:51:51 -0700 The Stranger Posted by denise conner]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 10:36:35 -0700 The Stranger Posted by jodytelcom]]> Sat, 02 Oct 2010 09:50:48 -0700 The Stranger
To gloss over these facts doesn't help gay teens learn how to cope with the inevitable alienation or harassment they will likely face at some point in their lives. And those facts don't change as we get older. In fact, I think they actually get worse because folks don’t have as much compassion for mature people and they don’t see their homosexuality as “a phase they’re going through.” However, what does change for the better is our ability to stand up to discrimination, but this takes a strong sense of self, love of self and others, education, and independence. The latter is something you're not addressing head-on, I think. If you're going to set an example for the gay community, Mr. Savage, then you should acknowledge to gay teens that you’re financially independent, which makes a difference because you don't have to rely on others for income or sustainability. I say this mostly because in your post you encourage us to speak about our positive experiences as opposed to the bullying we’ve faced, but most gays and lesbians, or anyone for that matter, are not so privileged as to be financially independent, or should I say, wealthy. In other words, you don't have to face systemic discrimination; you can simply walk away from it without suffering debilitating financial consequences as a result. Sure it gets better - if you're rich - no doubt! ‘Got fired from your job 'cause you're gay? Whatever! Paris sounds nice this time of year... Go there!’ That's not real life for most people. I guess my point is that the "It Gets Better" campaign is a good thing, but let's just be real about the potential consequences most gays and lesbians will likely face by being “out.”

I'll do my part by saying that my being gay actually spurred my desire to earn an education because, initially, I chose to see myth for what it really is – a human constructed value-based belief system. As a result, I chose to study mostly science and history to broaden my own paradigm, and this has helped me to be a stronger person emotionally and intellectually. I've also been open about my sexuality since I was a young teen because I don’t think anyone’s opinion is any greater than my own – especially if it’s about me! And it doesn’t hurt that I grew up in the Netherlands and Germany, a much more accepting environment for homosexuals than say a rural small town in the Midwest, which I’ve also lived in. I also love studying astronomy, which helps people think outside of the box. In any event, I don't care what other people think regarding my sexuality, which has served me well. But it’s also cost me some family members, “friends,” and I've had to quit a few good paying jobs here and there along the way, as I refuse to accept crumbs, as Larry Kramer would say. That’s been the cost of maintaining my dignity. And I’m not alone. I understand the campaign isn’t all about this; it’s about helping gay teens overcome suicidal thoughts by focusing on how life gets better – I get that – and as I’ve already said, those efforts trump my cynicism. But I also want gay teens to be prepared for a harsh reality that sometimes homophobia will put obstacles in their way. I think speaking truths is the best way to lend a hand and help them forge and don the armor they will need to survive and grow in this world. I think this comes from relating real-world life experiences. Does it get better? Yes and no. Our ability to withstand discrimination gets better as we age, but homophobia remains as vigilant as ever. Regardless, suicide is not the way out. It’s just an end with no coming back. Finito! And even a cynic like me must admit that life is too precious to throw away and can be pretty damn good, all in all. There are hills and valleys along the way. The valleys stink, but the highs are awesome and worth the ride - and they’re more powerful than the lows! Fortunately, memory tends to be kind. So stick around, it’s well worth it. You’re worth it. I’ve been in the same relationship for 15 years with the love of my life – that alone has been worth it! If I was to plop dead tomorrow I would go with a smile on my face because I loved myself and that love radiates to others – and it feels really good. Okay kids… go run and play now. Lecture over.

Posted by ratherbeinhilo]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 21:37:53 -0700 The Stranger
Is it or isn't it polyamory? I'd say a real polyamorous relationship would include honest dialogue between the participants with at least loosely defined boundaries; that it would exclude a threesome where one of the participants not only doesn't understand the rules, but doesn't even understand what game he's playing.

CTOACN, I believe you're actually being dominated by this guy. You are one of his submissives. A role that you don't fully comprehend and seemingly don't desire to play. That pair has their own kinks and set of rules- you're simply along for their ride- a tool.

You want time alone with this chick and are not getting it. Why not? Because, dude, she already has a boyfriend! It's not poly, it's not a 'friends with benefits" scenario, and it doesn't seem to be satisfying to you --which could then extend to, it's not healthy for you. If it were healthy, you'd be discussing your desires with the two of them rather than on an advice blog.
Posted by 2sense]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 18:58:47 -0700 The Stranger Posted by Cyndi]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 18:15:08 -0700 The Stranger Posted by KellyLove]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 18:13:36 -0700 The Stranger God Bless you all.
Posted by dadfromaz]]> Fri, 01 Oct 2010 16:30:24 -0700 The Stranger