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Big Balls

October 31, 2012

So I was innocently browsing the personal ads on Craigslist and saw one from a dude who was looking to try "saline balls" for the first time. Having no idea what this was, I googled it. Even worse, I google-imaged it. I pride myself on being unshockable, but I was completely and utterly mortified at what I saw. With that said, my copious internet searching failed to yield the answers to the basic/most important questions regarding saline balls: (1) What is the procedure/process for salining one's balls? (2) What about it turns on the saliner/salinee? (3) How long does the effect last? (4) Can it be (god forbid) irreversible?

Completely Utterly Mortified

"The technical name for what CUM is asking about is 'scrotal inflation,'" says Dart, a leatherman, BDSM/kink educator, and host of the Dart's Domain podcast. "It's a type of body-modification play where the scrotum is infused with approximately 500 milliliters to one liter of saline solution via an IV/cannula drip, which results in the balls appearing to have enlarged to the size of a pair of grapefruits."

Saline, of course, is simply salt water, and sterile saline solutions are administered intravenously to dehydrated patients so that they don't, you know, die. But some people—like the guys your Craigslist friend was seeking out—engage in recreational saline play. But they're not putting saline in their balls, CUM, they're putting saline in their ball sacks.

"The skin of the sack has a great deal of elasticity and can safely stretch to this large size without incurring damage," says Dart. Balls, of course, are not noted for their elasticity, and they can burst.

"While this is a more extreme form of kink play, if done under sterile conditions with hospital-grade materials, it can be accomplished with a minimal risk," says Dart. "No one should experiment with scrotal inflation without some experienced guidance, and no one should do it alone. Some of the risks that can happen include local infection and cellulitis, which can occur from a lack of sterility. There can also be dangerous problems if any air was present in the tubing of the IV during the infusion. But again, if proper precautions are taken, these risks can be avoided."

The inflation process takes about an hour, the effect lasts for a day or two, and the sack gradually returns to normal size as the saline is absorbed into the body. So the process is always reversible—so long as you're inflating your sack with saline and not, say, silicone, Spackle, or packing peanuts. Your sack may be a little looser afterward, but you're not going to be stuck with a giant sack forever.

As for why this is a turn-on, well, turn-ons are highly subjective.

"The turn-on answer varies from person to person," says Dart. "For some, there is a certain rush from temporarily modifying a part of their body to a 'monstrous' size. Others have 'medical play' fantasies. In a power exchange setting between a dominant and a submissive, the dom may get off on 'altering' a part of the sub's body against the sub's will, while the sub may get turned on by the humiliation aspect. It's a wide spectrum. As I say, it's not for everyone. But many, including myself, have engaged in it safely and had a pretty fun time doing it."

Anyone who wants to see a pair of grapefruit-sized "saline balls" in action should go here: tinyurl.com/salineballs. Anyone who wants to find Dart's blog, podcast, and videos should go here: www.dartsdomain.com.

You once pointed out that you only heard from readers when their attempts to be GGG backfired. If something went wrong, you got a letter. But when an effort to be GGG didn't cause a problem, no one wrote you. And this was leading other readers to conclude that being GGG is always a risky mistake. So I thought I'd write to tell you that nothing went wrong after I was GGG for my girlfriend (we had sex in a series of semipublic places) and she was GGG for me (she arranged a small CFNM party at which I was the NM). We are being GGG and all is well with us, Dan, and we wanted to thank you for giving us the tools that we needed to talk about this stuff!

Clamoring About My Experiences

Thanks for sharing, CAME.

I have a problem with a guy I like and his porn habits. I know you've answered a lot of questions about porn, but I don't think you've answered one like mine. The problem is I used to be his porn. I work part-time as a cam girl. He was one of my regular customers. I came to like him as a human being, and he seemed to feel the same about me. This last summer, we actually got a chance to meet in person. It was fucking amazing! Since then, we've continued playing online, although for free now, because it feels unethical to charge someone who I really like. We've also tossed around the idea of another visit. So here's the problem: He's still paying other cam girls, and it makes me upset. I don't mind that he looks at porn, Dan. I don't even mind that he pays for live interactive porn. There are plenty of times when he's horny but I'm asleep (we live in different time zones) or I'm at my other job, and I don't care what he does then. The thing is, I feel I should be the one he plays with when we're both awake and online at the same time. But just as often, when we are both awake and online, he's busy with other cam girls. It makes me feel ignored and neglected.

Am I overreacting? Should I ask to be prioritized over porn? And how can I bring up this subject? I don't want to tell him that he can't jerk off or insist that I have to be at the center of everything he thinks about sexually, but feeling constantly sidelined isn't okay either. And frankly, it makes me feel like a chump for not charging him anymore.

Clever Acronym Missing

Monitoring this guy's porn habits seems like a waste of time and emotional energy, CAM, considering that he's not your boyfriend, you've only met in person on one occasion, you don't live in the same time zone, and a second meeting is just an idea that's being "tossed around." You're not in a relationship with him and, really, would you wanna be? I'm pro-porn and I'm pro-porn-cam girls, but a guy who invests the amount of time, money, and emotional energy in porn that Mr. Not Your Boyfriend does, well, he hardly seems like decent relationship material.

But you've got nothing to lose—literally nothing—so go ahead and ask him to prioritize you over porn, and to prioritize the free porn you're offering him over the porn he's still paying for, and see what he says. If you don't like what you hear, CAM, if he makes it clear that he doesn't feel about you the same way that you feel about him, then you should definitely start charging him again.

CONFIDENTIAL TO READERS IN THE UNITED STATES: Please vote on November 6—or before November 6—for Barack Obama. And if you're in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, or Washington State, please vote for marriage equality!

Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at thestranger.com/savage.


mail@savagelove.net

@fakedansavage on Twitter

 

Comments (155) RSS

Newest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
155
SINCE Stranger HAS ACCUSED ME OF, "Trolling," I WILL MAKE THIS COMMENT IN THIS THREAD. OBVIOUSLY, THERE ARE SOME EMPLOYEES AT Stranger AND/OR Amazon.com WHO ARE TRYING TO DESTROY MY REPUTATION.

I JUST TRIED TO CONTACT Yahoo!, Google AND ONLINE POLICE RECORDS ABOUT THOSE MUGSHOT PHOTOS ASSOCIATED WITH MY NAME IN SEARCH ENGINES. [The police report site was sponsored by Amazon.com].

PEOPLE, MY MIDDLE NAME IS "ALLEN" AND I LIVE IN MEMPHIS. I ASSUME IT IS ILLEGAL TO PUBLISH SOMEONE'S PHOTO WITHOUT PERMISSION. [One poor Caucasian male in an orange prison-jumpsuit has been falsely associated with me for months. Of course, my high school and graduate college are in on the act. And, a Negro male's photo has been added].

PEOPLE, DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU SEE. IF YOU HATE, ME - FINE. BUT, SURELY, YOU WANT ACCURATE INFORMATION.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on May 10, 2013 at 1:05 PM · Report this
154
@37 What is the full link? Ending in "/ob..." just took me to the wrong article.
Posted by Wordwizard on November 16, 2012 at 7:12 PM · Report this
153
"auntie grizelda,"

YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO CALL ME "batshit crazy;" YET, YOU ARE STILL "HARPING" ABOUT THE SO-CALLED, "holocaust?" BE FUCKIN' GLAD YOU WERE NOT PLACED IN ONE OF THE OVENS.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on November 16, 2012 at 12:07 AM · Report this
152
Here's hoping the Tea Party, that, at best, represents a pitiful group of Rethug-misled hotheads, gets thrown out with the bath water, too!

Merry Christmas to all, and although it won't be easy because there's STILL a lot of shit Dubya left to clean up, another four years!!

The Holocaust has been avoided!!!!!
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 10, 2012 at 10:56 PM · Report this
151
@149: I can imagine the embarrassment during the 2012 Summer Olympics in London, and I'm very sorry! That criminally rich, corrupt-as-fuck asshole didn't even stick around to see his own horse compete!! It amazes me how many idiots here in the States wasted their votes on Willard Mitt Dumbney. Believe me, I was plenty terrified of having Mitt and his evil empire stink up the White House, too!!

Dubya did enough damage to last 100 years, and Rethugs have proven inarguably well over the last 30 years that the GOP is woefully incapable of governing. Dumbney's the single worst candidate the U.S. has ever had run for president. Here's hoping that the Rethug Party is truly on its way OUT.
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 10, 2012 at 3:07 AM · Report this
150
"Theodore Gorath,"

I FULLY ACKNOWLEDGE I AM A TURD-LOVIN' "pervert." IT IS PEOPLE LIKE, YOU, WHO ARE TOO FUCKIN' AFRAID TO ADMIT THEY ARE TOO.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on November 8, 2012 at 11:51 AM · Report this
149
Oh, also, THANK YOU SO MUCH for re-electing Obama. I haven't met any Brits who weren't terrified by the prospect of Romney.
Posted by tabitha on November 8, 2012 at 4:05 AM · Report this
148
Also pretty late, but on Saline Balls... (@48, @60, @125)

I am a girl and I like it a lot. I never imagined I would, but my boyfriend has this - sort of naturally. He has a hydrocele in his scrotum, which is basically a sac containing fluid, which slowly grows over time. Its currently about the size of a grapefruit. If I hadn't met him, I think I would find saline balls as weird as almost everyone else does - but, actually, it's extremely hot.

Those predictions about awesome sensations when fucked - well, yep. As well as hitting my ass (that's a donkey where I come from - my ARSE), when he's fucking me from behind his balls hit my clit... and the harder and faster he fucks me, the stronger the sensations there... I probably don't need to expand on how good that feels. It's like a built in toy. Also, for what feels like primal reasons (big balls equating to high fertility/testosterone, at some animal-brain level?), I find how he looks really hot. When he first took off his pants (that's underwear to you), it sent an electric shiver through me... and with his pants on, he has a huge package ;) Hm, it's hard to explain. Primal, definitely - like most hotnesses, I guess. It just makes it all look bigger, feel bigger, fuller (when I'm on top, it's hot and firm between my legs, on my arse, as i move) - clothes on and off.

So, to paraphrase Dan, falling in love with someone with unusual bodily proportions/parts can bring new kinks/fetishes into your erotic brain...! If my boyfriend and I split, I could definitely imagine being into saline balls in someone else...

Posted by tabitha on November 8, 2012 at 4:02 AM · Report this
jesgal 147
Late to the discussion but....

Unless your salary is over 10 million, voting for the Republican ticket is per STUPIDY!! I am disgusted by the military complex that has mushroomed under Obama but I will vote for him over Romney. I have lived in both economic strata’s, from poverty to the 1% and let me tell you if people really knew the difference there would be bigger riots than Syria. Offshore tax shelters are appalling, you need major 000’s to be able to take advantage and the .01%’ers design and manipulate our laws. Remember we teach HEALTH in high school not WEALTH. My sister and I both get subsidies from the government, she has Section 8 and mine is a tax rate under 10%. Romney wants to eliminate the inheritance tax, wake up America!!! This will only lead to a greater polarity. I have many friends that would love it! Think about passing on 300 million in a trust with no tax. Disgusting!!

The majority of people who vote for Romney today are being manipulated by the Republican party.
Posted by jesgal on November 6, 2012 at 1:02 PM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 146
@145:

Well considering how your bio on here is:

"SO, I GUESS I WILL HANG-OUT NAKED AMONGST THE FOREST AND MOSQUITOS IN MY BACKYARD AND JACK MY FUCKIN' SHIT. SINCE IT IS DARK OF NIGHT, I WILL WALK NAKED DOWN THE DIRT ROAD NEAR MY HOUSE WITH MY FUCKIN' HARD AND STICKY PETER IN MY HAND. MY FUCKIN' PETERCHEESE IS TANGY!"

You are probably right about that. You are a strange troll MR. HORTON.
Posted by Theodore Gorath on November 6, 2012 at 11:49 AM · Report this
145
"Theodore Gorath,"

I GUARANTEE - MY BRAIN IS BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on November 6, 2012 at 10:21 AM · Report this
144
Vote No Minnesota

Until the 1920's women couldn't vote.
Until the 1960's African-Americans weren't considered full citizens.

I'm not against people having an opinion about anything they see fit. I also don't have a problem if that opinion disagrees with mine. I celebrate and believe in freedom in that beautiful and unique way.

I realize that we have a history rich with exclusion. However, the historical record is very clear on which path we eventually end up walking. Sometimes we wear out our shoes more than we have to, but we somehow get there.

The nature of government; by definition, is to treat all of their subjects equally and in a just manner. Regarding religious beliefs, political beliefs, etc.

So, I wonder why anybody that truly believes in democracy would actively want to vote in favor of the government discriminating against a specific minority?
As I see it, asking the government to discriminate against a sector of society is asking for trouble.

We have the right not to associate with anything gay if we so choose. We have plenty of options of churches and organizations to participate in.
We also, can be absolutely sure of our sexuality here and now, but we can't predict our children's or grandchildren's. They may need us to be their advocates not tomorrow, but today (Tuesday). They may need us to love them regardless of who they are before they are actually born.

My promise to my children is that I will love them no matter what and that I will love their children and grandchildren the same way. I trust that if they are gay they will have big hearts and beautiful souls. I will be extremely proud the day they decide to marry their loved one. If I'm around I will support their decisions, and some day I will die knowing to have been on the right side of history.
More...
Posted by PabloinMN on November 6, 2012 at 9:27 AM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 143
I wish I knew what causes CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON make the decision change from upper case to lower case. Seems randomish.

I want to know what makes those particular synapses fire in that weird brain.
Posted by Theodore Gorath on November 6, 2012 at 8:42 AM · Report this
142
Why are you on Cap Lock? Stop shouting.

Is your computer broke?
Posted by albeit on November 6, 2012 at 12:59 AM · Report this
141
@134 wingedkat: Actually, you're right. I voted three weeks ago,
have been phone banking, attended local rallies, a port commissioner meeting, and candidates' debates. It's time to let go, be prepared for the worst, but hope for the best.

@138: mydriasis: THANK YOU! I couldn't have put it better! I totally agree, and already voted. The ones needing convincing are the batshit crazies (i.e: @139 and @140) that need a good zap in the badoobies.
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 6, 2012 at 12:32 AM · Report this
140
SO, MY COMMENT TO "135" WAS DELETED. Solomon Giorgio IS NOT THE ONLY RACIST AT "Stranger."

IT IS OKAY FOR "135" TO RIDICULE ME; BUT, NOT OKAY FOR ME TO RESPOND.

ANYONE WHO Googles MY NAME WILL SEE MY Stranger COMMENTS, F-I-R-S-T. SO, WHOEVER MAKES THE FUCKIN' MONEY FROM CLICKING ON MY LINKS ARE HAPPY, AS LONG AS, THEY THINK THEY ARE MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A FUCKIN' FOOL.

I WOULD NOT BE SURPRISED IF ONE OF THOSE FUCKED-UP BASTARDS FROM Amazon.com PLAYED A ROLE IN THIS DELETION. SINCE I FUCKIN' "WENT-OFF" ON THEIR SITE AND CALLED CNN-ANCHOR Don Lemon A FUCKIN' COWARD FOR LYIN' AND TELLING EVERYONE HE WAS A SEXUALLY ABUSED WHEN HE WAS REALLY A FREAKY FIVE-YEAR-OLD FUCKIN' AROUND WITH AN OLDER KID?

IT WAS MIGHTY FUCKIN' STRANGE - WHILE I WAS TYPING MY COMMENTS - I SAW AN Amazon.com ADVERTISEMENT FOR AN OUD [AND, ACCESSORIES] I LOOKED AT ON ITS SITE YESTERDAY. I GUESS SUPPORTING THE "black faggot, Don Lemon" IS IMPORTANT TO Amazon's "BOTTOM-LINE."

THAT'S FINE.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on November 5, 2012 at 10:07 PM · Report this
139
"135,"

OBVIOUSLY, YOU ARE NEW TO ONLINE DISCUSSION AND UNAWARE OF MARKETING TRENDS TO MALE HOMOSEXUALS.

FORESKIN RESTORATION IS A "HOT" TOPIC ON VARIOUS HOMOSEXUAL WEBSITES. IN REFERENCE TO MARKETING, THERE ARE COMPANIES WHICH ARE SELLING PENILE "SHAFT-WEIGHTS" FOR LOOSENING PENILE SKIN TO GIVE THE "APPEARANCE" OF A FORESKIN. IN REFERENCE TO ADULT FILMS, "UNCUT" ACTORS - PRIMARILY, "EURO-TWINKS" - ARE "ALL THE RAGE" AMONG CAUCASIAN-MALE HOMOSEXUALS.

I AM A FORTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD-NEGRO MALE BORN IN RURAL MISSISSIPPI; MOST OF THE NEGRO MALES OF MY GENERATION [AND, OLDER] HAVE OUR FORESKINS. FURTHERMORE, HAVING OUR FORESKINS IS A NON-ISSUE FOR US. IN REFERENCE TO HOMOSEX, OLDER NEGRO MALES HAVE NO NEED TO PRACTICE "DOCKING," ETC. - THAT IS SILLY. [The same is true for Older-Negro-male heterosexuals; older Negro females are non-chalant about their husbands'/boyfriends' foreskinned peters]. YET, CAUCASIAN-MALE HOMOSEXUALS HAVE BEEN TRAUMATIZED AND HOLD INTERNAL ANGER AGAINST THEIR PARENTS BECAUSE THEY DO NOT HAVE FORESKIN. AS A NEGRO MALE WITH FORESKIN, I CAN FUCK A CAUCASIAN MALE ANYTIME I WANT BECAUSE BEING FUCKED BY A " 'black' uncut dick" IS HIS ULTIMATE FANTASY.

IN ADDITION, AS NEGRO MALES, WE ARE COMFORTABLE WITH OUR NUT-SIZE. TO PLACE SOME TYPE OF SOLUTION IN A NUTSACK TO GIVE THE APPEARANCE OF LARGE NUTS IS PAST FUCKED-UP.

SO, YES "135," THIS IS A RACIAL ISSUE BECAUSE CAUCASIAN-MALE HOMOSEXUALS MADE IT ONE - FOR THEMSELVES.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on November 5, 2012 at 9:26 PM · Report this
mydriasis 138
I found this on a blog I read.

But all yall muricans should read it too.


Hi Tumblr, it’s me, a slightly older person…

I see a lot of you 20 somethings saying things about how you aren’t going to choose the lesser of two evils and that their policy on important matters are identical so what’s the point they’re both stooges for Wall Street and the Industrial War Complex.

You are right. Kind of.

I know y’all LOVE the 90’s. Me too. And I remember after after eight years of Clinton/Gore, I thought those motherfuckers were the devil. I was soooooooooooo upset with Bill Clinton waving his deregulation wand and his fucked foreign policy that I was all FUCK THE DEMOCRATS and I strongly advocated for Raplh Nader, even though he too didn’t really care about my “gonad politics.” Even when not choosing between the “lesser of two evils,” I was STILL having to compromise major issues.

Having been an adult person through 8 years of Clinton/Gore and 8 years through Bush/Cheney, I can tell you without a shred of hesitation that I will line up like my ass is on fire to vote for the lesser of two evils because the greater of two evils almost had us all living outside and eating dog food.

And if you think that a Romney presidency won’t be worse than Bush/Cheney, you are out of your mind.

I am fucking begging all of you, please, go vote. Aside from the fact that far more dangerous things are happening on your local level, (like collective bargaining being taken away in Illinois) this shit does matter.

If you think voting for Obama is the lesser of two evils, you’re wrong, it’s the lesser of three because not voting IS voting for Romney. Not voting is voting for dickbag judges that sentence people to jail in counties that have privatized prisons for minor drug infractions. Not voting is voting to remove pensions and collective bargaining and the last shreds of union power from the people. Not voting this election is voting for Feudalism.

Go vote.

Now pardon me, there’s some damn kids on my lawn and they want candy.
More...
Posted by mydriasis on November 5, 2012 at 8:06 PM · Report this
137
@134 wingedkat: Actually, voting wasn't stressful for me---that was the EASY part. What's stressful is the number of ignorant batshit crazies out there who blindly support Romney / Ryan and McKenna.
This is why I no longer read The Seattle Times.
Thank you, Stranger, Dan Savage, and everybody, for truly being Seattle's only newspaper!!
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 5, 2012 at 3:19 PM · Report this
136
@98 For fuck's sake...

Yes, I knew that there were ducts connecting all three of them, but I swear I had no idea I could get come in your eyes that way, and I imagine it wasn't pleasant having it come out your nose either. Still, I'd like to think you'll come back to my tree house once your regain hearing in that ear.

Love,
Posted by Bullballs By Oxballs on November 5, 2012 at 3:18 PM · Report this
135
To Christopher Allen Horton (whoever the fuck that is?) "Caucasian males obsession with foreskin and size"? "Small is in the caucasion males genes"? Whys it all got to go race? I'm a white male with a 9" cock and observed plenty of white cock of above average size. So stupid to think a sexual exploration stems from jealousy or another insecurity. Sounds like your a bit insecure. Maybe you should try a saline injection to the brain. Because size does matter!
Posted by Caucasion on November 4, 2012 at 11:39 PM · Report this
134
@133 Auntie Grizelda: I was stressed until I voted. Now, it's all off me, not my problem. What a relief!
Posted by wingedkat on November 4, 2012 at 11:13 PM · Report this
133
Okay, I'm on a rampage! Red meat, chocolate, and wine!!
This election has me stressed out!!
Thank GOD I don't have a TV.
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 4, 2012 at 10:01 PM · Report this
132
@122, @123, & @124: ricky2718: Are you Catholic? I ask because there's a Catholic ad next to your shared article about the girl who has "lost faith in the pro-choice movement".
By the way, are your questions exclusively for guys only---men & boys---to answer?

If so, sorry. Consequences---they're not just for WOMEN anymore!
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 4, 2012 at 9:55 PM · Report this
131
@130: Okay----thanks, Dan, for already saying so.
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 4, 2012 at 9:46 PM · Report this
130
I know I'm once again going off topic, but EVERYBODY:
please fucking VOTE!!!!
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 4, 2012 at 9:44 PM · Report this
129
Not a comment but a question. On the saline injections, would this work on female breasts? I can envision a number of occasions when a woman would want larger breasts without going through surgery. Examples might be spring break, an actress auditioning for a certain part or even New Year's Eve. So would this work?
Posted by options on November 4, 2012 at 6:30 PM · Report this
128
Not a comment but a question. On the saline injections, would this work on female breasts? I can envision a number of occasions when a woman would want larger breasts without going through surgery. Examples might be spring break, an actress auditioning for a certain roll or even New Year's Eve. So would this work?
Posted by options on November 4, 2012 at 6:24 PM · Report this
127
So, it looks like we have one woman who is at least intrigued with grapefruit nuts. And a couple male practitioners.
Posted by Hunter78 on November 4, 2012 at 7:17 AM · Report this
126
@ 122, I think it's setting up straw men. "I never knew this" "I never thought about this" - well, then you're an idiot. In my experience very few women go into sex as cavalierly as the author seems to think they do, because they know the consequences are more serious for them than for men. Reliable birth control, legal abortion, and social change have evened things out some, but when something goes wrong sexually, women still bear the brunt. I've always known that, my daughter and her friends know that - if the author didn't, well, whose fault is that?
Posted by agony on November 4, 2012 at 6:45 AM · Report this
125
To bring this back to the key, important points: @48 I can see the hotness of feeling those saline balls slap me in key areas during sex. So, while I'm not sure I find them "hot" I don't find them unhot.
Posted by wingedkat on November 4, 2012 at 12:14 AM · Report this
124
"Don't have the money to raise a child? Don't think your boyfriend would be a good father? Don't feel ready to be a mother? Women were never encouraged to consider these factors before they had sex; only before they had a baby."

Wow! What do you guys think?
Posted by ricky2718 on November 3, 2012 at 10:11 PM · Report this
123
And this article is pretty good too:

http://www.newstatesman.com/lifestyle/li…
Posted by ricky2718 on November 3, 2012 at 10:07 PM · Report this
122
What do you guys think about this article?

http://www.ncregister.com/blog/jennifer-…
Posted by ricky2718 on November 3, 2012 at 10:05 PM · Report this
121
I officially declare war against "Animal Farm"-warped Republican pigs!
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 3, 2012 at 10:03 PM · Report this
120
Oops, I forgot to add John Boehner and Todd Akin---give 'em all a double zap!!
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 3, 2012 at 9:59 PM · Report this
119
Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Rush Limbaugh, Rob McKenna, Tim Eyman,
Rick Santorum, ad nauseum all need a good zap in the badoobies!
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 3, 2012 at 9:58 PM · Report this
118
@104: Let me put it another way: do you support Mitt Romney's white collar criminal agenda?
He's got "loads of women in binders"; Planned Parenthood and all its vital services in addition to family planning (breast cancer screenings, for example) would be eliminated! He's "going to get rid of that" if he successfully buys his way into the White House!
Roe vs. Wade, the Supreme court ruling that respects a woman's right to choose whether or not to continue a pregnancy would be grim history, particularly for female victims of rape and incest! Romney would overturn that decision made in 1973!
Rape and domestic violence against women would not only be legal, but highly encouraged!

Do you respect a woman's ability to make well-informed health related decisions concerning her own body? What does Mitt Romney know about breast lumps or missing a period? Guess what else? He doesn't care, either!! Romney will send us back into the Dark Ages, and NO, this is NOT a "cool video game". Workers will be seen as slaves; only the insanely rich will be able to afford anything, and the U.S. would become a Third World Banana Republic overnight---regardless whose pants you could still get into.
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 3, 2012 at 9:54 PM · Report this
117
Hey Dan, check out the impressive video of you on the NOM website.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pla…
Posted by aCultureWarrior on November 3, 2012 at 4:33 PM · Report this
116
I just want to say I love you people! Not just Dan, but all you commenters! Even if Obama doesn't win, I will still love to live here, because I know that you people are out there.
Posted by the lights are back on! on November 3, 2012 at 2:23 PM · Report this
seandr 115
Having given this a lot of thought, I'm just not sold on saline balls. But I could definitely see having a few extra balls implanted.
Posted by seandr on November 3, 2012 at 11:08 AM · Report this
114
I had a scrotal infusion once because I saw a still in a porno mag while in Amsterdam as a teenager and said "I must have this." The surprising kind of unsexy effects are that because your nuts are floating, you lose awareness of them. You could stop by the boxing gym and offer some practice while their punching bag is out for repair. The guy I found online who had the sterile equipment said you can do a big medical scene and tell a guy you're going to cut his balls off and that he'll experience some swelling but you have castrated him and what you really do is give him an infusion and if you get the head game working right he can have a day of living his castration fantasy. I candled my scrote to make sure my little men were still in there. Also since the scrotum is huge, the penis can look kind of small. The scrotum is the container so depending on your skin it usually looks like one big grapefruit not two large balls. It kind of looked like that moment of crowning - a baby's head stretching a vagina, which I've always found to be a turn-on. My guy only let me do 400 cc's. It was nearly all gone 12 hours later. The fluid migrates indiscriminately into the surrounding area a little so the whole region - penis, perineum, pubic mound - can get a little distended as it drains. It was worth doing for the exploration. I would do it again but haven't found where to get IV catheters.

Anyone remember that Star Trek Next Generation episode about the silicon crystal life form that calls humans "ugly bags of mostly water?"
Posted by Phil Meup on November 3, 2012 at 8:54 AM · Report this
113
More on the gender divide and voting:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/03/us/pol…

The most interesting part of the article says that children take their political cues from their mothers. If you haven't already early voted, moms take your kids to the polls on Tuesday. Lead by example.
Posted by albeit on November 3, 2012 at 8:53 AM · Report this
112
@84: Spot ON!!!
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 2, 2012 at 11:02 PM · Report this
111
@81 & @107: Yes---a Romney /Ryan mismanaged world would result in pigs and dogs run amok---as in George Orwell's "Animal Farm"!! Scary, huh??

@110: Okay. You can go back to your cave now, and stay there.
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 2, 2012 at 11:01 PM · Report this
110
WOW! "#96!"

WHAT A MONIKER! I WOULD LIKE TO BE A BOTTOM FOR Dan Savage's DICK - HE IS SEXY!

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on November 2, 2012 at 10:01 PM · Report this
109
@84, yes. Same goes for men who vote for Ron Paul who holds identical positions.
Posted by Ms.11 on November 2, 2012 at 9:21 PM · Report this
108
GIbson,
you call targeting american citizens based on gender...PANDERING??!!!

Mitt Romney literally believes and acts on the belief men should be paid more than women for equal work.

Paul Ryan is a rape apologist and enthusiast.

I'm horrified by the men in this country who think Roe V. Wade is a side issue. So women are not real humans? So your ability to control your body is a social, unimportant issue? How about the dudes that rely on your girlfriends' birth control to prevent pregnancy? Or the guys who aren't ready to have kids and support their girlfriends' abortions?

This is ESSENTIAL, Constitutional rights. Would Romney be a contender if he said black folks should be paid less than whites? Or would that be an issue that "panders."

FUCK domestic drones, get off your butt and do some thing about it. You think Romney wouuldn't take up the war cry? He will. So either way, you need to get involved.
Posted by Ms.11 on November 2, 2012 at 9:18 PM · Report this
107
@106 Cherry

You're right.

If you vote for Romney, everyone gets screwed.
Posted by albeit on November 2, 2012 at 7:57 PM · Report this
106
@104 Chimi Changa

Perhaps.

It shows that you are an intelligent and informed man who respects women as autonomous beings.

A vote for Obama greatly increases the chance.

Posted by albeit on November 2, 2012 at 7:54 PM · Report this
105
@81 We know Romney's position on dogs too. They get tied to roof of the car for 8 hours and hosed off. So he treats them better than women. Or the 47%.
Posted by Cherry on November 2, 2012 at 7:14 PM · Report this
104
@84 so what you are saying is that if I vote Obama, I'm entitled to get into your pants?
Posted by Chimi Changa on November 2, 2012 at 5:57 PM · Report this
ScienceNerd 103
Anyone else unable to listen to Dart's podcasts? I have tried via his website and itunes, neither works.
Posted by ScienceNerd http://stanichium.tumblr.com/ on November 2, 2012 at 2:33 PM · Report this
102
Having had edema from CHF that just STARTED to plump my junk, let me tell you, you feel bad enough physically that you really wish you would die and get it over with. Not a sexy moment at all.

Eat right and exercise, boys and girls.
Posted by HITHERE on November 2, 2012 at 1:08 PM · Report this
101
And you won't be getting this much, either. Fuck you and Billy Corgan's song. Good Day (sarcasm implied: much like your piddly jibberish, Dear Bob...)
Posted by 101% Mine, Not A Fucking Thing For You. on November 2, 2012 at 12:07 PM · Report this
100
Ooh! Look at that! #100!! What do I win?? Nothing, when you waste your time on a narcisstic asshole like Bob R., who flies to Seattle several times a year for some illicit three-ways with Dan and Terry. Hope he's a good fuck, guys. He proves himself to be little more than that when the chips are down. Go fuck yourself, Bob. You deserve to be shamed. Fuckhead.
Posted by A 100% That You'll Never Get Again, Bob. on November 2, 2012 at 11:20 AM · Report this
99
Bob R.: 99% bullshit, 1% common sense.
Posted by Bob Is A Turdburgler on November 2, 2012 at 11:18 AM · Report this
98
"seandr, based on a perusal of that site, I am not convinced the bottom was a woman."

No, but You "Bullballs By Oxballs" are a man (if you wanna call yourself that) AND a bottom: on the bottom, slithering around with your secrets, neuroses and bullshit. Go fuck yourself and I hope your fucking treehouse burns down with you in it, you hate-inducing motherfucker!
Posted by Fuck Bob Till He Bleeds, Dan on November 2, 2012 at 11:16 AM · Report this
97
BURN, you motherfucker! BURN.
Posted by To A Crisp, You Dense Dickhead! on November 2, 2012 at 11:13 AM · Report this
96
Dan, how does Bob's ass feel when you fuck it? I bet it's nice and tight, seeing how does little more than lift weights and generally being a disengenuous asshole. Fuck him hard for me: he's fucked me enough times. Fuck him until he bleeds. And send me pictures. Thanks for nothing, Bob, you douchebag.
Posted by Bob R.'s a Bottom For Dan's Savage's Dick on November 2, 2012 at 10:58 AM · Report this
95
@60 "the link Dan provided depicting a guy banging a woman with his giant balls slapping every which way against her ass."

seandr, based on a perusal of that site, I am not convinced the bottom was a woman.
Posted by Bullballs By Oxballs on November 2, 2012 at 10:28 AM · Report this
94
@88 Thank you for demonstrating a grasp of some vocabulary on what should have been used as a reading comprehension exercise; it certainly is possible you are well suited to teach.

I am not going to ask you to cite sources for your statistics, as your "you lack personal knowledge" note #66 and a sniff test indicate that your inviting me to engage in scat play. Instead, I am going to point out that you seem to have conflated "liberal" with good in a way that may also be problematic.

Home schooling can be incredibly useful, proper and rewarding, but given the regulations and practitioners across this country, I'm afraid you'll have to fix it or just take your lumps.
Posted by Apropos Of Nothing; With No Useful Parallels on November 2, 2012 at 10:24 AM · Report this
93
To CAM--Ever think that maybe the reason he gets off on cam girls is because he HAS to pay for it? Not like "ugh I love can girls so I'll pay for it if I have to in order to get off" which it seems you're assuming, but that actually paying for it, entering into a contract of sorts, either being submissive by "being so bad he has to pay for female attention" or dominate by "owning a woman's time"....that THOSE are the things that gets him off?! Maybe he's just being polite and coming to your free sessions because he knows you like him and feels bad? Either tell him "trial period is up!" or cut him off completely. This is NOT a way to meet people, it's your livelihood. Get out of the house and meet people in your own time zone. And maybe with some clothes on (not slut shaming just saying add a little space between personal and work life).
Posted by freepornisntarelationship on November 2, 2012 at 10:00 AM · Report this
92
bagel@82, I support your right to call for revolution, but I'm going to keep on reminding everyone that many poor people will die awful deaths in a revolution -- people you know. People shouldn't think a revolution will be a fun adventure.

"who are we joking, a revolution in America? Many many decades away, if ever."

I hope you're right.
Posted by EricaP on November 2, 2012 at 9:23 AM · Report this
seandr 91
@82: but at least there would be results

What kind of "results" are you looking for from your revolution, exactly? A historical review of revolutions suggest the most probably outcome would be a massive reduction in civil liberties, mass execution of and imprisonment of dissidents, and rule by despot. Our little American revolution, of which you should be proud, is a notable exception.

As a wise man once said, democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time. If you're looking to better people's lives, I'd suggest working to shore up our democracy against the forces that are trying to erode it. On the other hand, if you're just angry and bored and want to see humans killed, imprisoned, or otherwise oppressed because they've failed to live up to your lofty ideals, then revolution is probably the way to go.
Posted by seandr on November 2, 2012 at 9:16 AM · Report this
90
Looking at this from a country that does have more than two parties, I think the advice to work at it from a local level is sound. When people can see, for example, a left wing environmentally conscious party running a state, being fiscally responsible, keeping people working, making pragmatic choices that actually work, they lose some of their fear. You also build up your reservoir of candidates with experience in government.

Anyone honestly disenchanted with the system as it stands who isn't then working to make the system better, but instead just throwing up his hands and throwing his vote away, needs to grow up. You have a responsibility as a citizen to either play your part in the system, or to play your part changing the system. There isn't a "government fairy" anymore than there is a "laundry fairy" - pick up your damn dirty underwear and start washing.
Posted by agony on November 2, 2012 at 8:02 AM · Report this
89
@15- this whole "leased of the two evils" thing just leaves everybody with two different flavours of evil unfortunately and there is a very simple and solid argument that supporting a third party is the only way to correct the monopoly on power that exists now. Every election time we get to see te same dog and pony show. Scared of the oligarchy ? Obama just sold America out to the bankers literally, and made drone attacks on civilians a daily operation. He's in the pocket just the same as Romney. To me at least, a vote for either of them is a vote for the status quo, you can piddle about trying to decide the lesser of two evils but it doesn't really represent anything close to a majority.
Posted by The original Xam on November 2, 2012 at 7:17 AM · Report this
88
@70. Your analogy is ill-fitting, in that it presumes that the homeschoolers I defend are in the minority, when they are not. (Let's review. Half of the homeschoolers = 50%. A portion of the other half, no matter how small, added to the aforementioned 50% makes a majority.) "Sorting them by the ideological underpinnings of their beliefs" is unnecessary, and, in fact, irrelevant. Yout comment suggests that somehow the very notion of an autodidactic education and/or an education that is independent from the widespread public system is somehow a criticism in and of itself, which might be the "ideological underpinning" of your disapproval of homeschooling, but it has no basis in fact.
Posted by SfR on November 2, 2012 at 5:33 AM · Report this
sb53 87
Re Saline balls
I have on - again off- again experience with various Dommes. I must say that my current mistress is fascinated with mine, enough that I might consider doing this for her. For some odd reason I am flattered by her attention to them, and wish to please her. (hell I am flattered by any female attention, no matter what it costs)
She seems to know just how much mine can be, ah, manipulated to get various responses from me, and just at the dge of what is painful. (she has never had a pair, how does she know this?)
Just my 2 cents.
SB
Posted by sb53 http://www.werneropticalcenter.com on November 2, 2012 at 5:15 AM · Report this
86
HAVE CAUCASIAN MALES GONE COMPLETELY MAD? FIRST, CAUCASIAN MALES ARE OBSESSED WITH FORESKIN RESTORATION; NOW, THEY WANT LARGE NUTS? BEING "SMALL" IS IN CAUCASIAN MALES' GENES - DO NOT FUCK WITH NATURE; JEALOUSY CREATES STRANGE CANCERS.

CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON
Posted by CHRISTOPHER ALLEN HORTON on November 2, 2012 at 2:46 AM · Report this
85
I want Romney to win, then people might actually get pissed and get in the fucking streets and change something. A gentle nudge off the cliff might be what we need. Call me an anarchist if you wish, but Obama is killing Pakistani civilians currently, pushing for the most hideously invasive laws so far ever seen in our country about detaining people without trial. Say what you will, but having legal marriage in a country where you will then get called a terrorist for protesting something else and locked away forever isn't much of a triumph is it?
Posted by people are everywhere on November 2, 2012 at 1:21 AM · Report this
84
@83 Eirene

Thank you for clarifying the obvious.

I was stating Men who vote for Romney forfeit their access to Women. If some Man is voting against my best self-interests, he will never get in my pants, nor should he feel entitled to it. I was going along the lines that Women tend to vote Democratic (community) and Men tend to vote Republican (self). Of course, there are people of both genders who will vote differently. Save the blast.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/25/us/pol…

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/21/us/pol…

And for Women who vote for Romney: shame on you.
Posted by albeit on November 1, 2012 at 10:05 PM · Report this
83
albeit, an unqualified "you" does NOT mean "you men," m'kay? Newsflash: women have the vote.
Posted by Eirene on November 1, 2012 at 9:08 PM · Report this
82
Erica, yes, a true revolution would most likely result in many people being maimed and killed and many would be young, but at least there would be results - a dramatic change and paradigm shift in thinking how this society is run - the end justifying the means.

And are the deaths and injuries any worse than the current situation where enormous numbers of persons in far off lands are being maimed and killed, directly due to our current system? Those atrocities are kept just beyond our eye so we don't feel the impact so great.

Anyway, who are we joking, a revolution in America? Many many decades away, if ever.
Posted by bagel on November 1, 2012 at 9:03 PM · Report this
81
So if you vote for Romney, you forfeit your right (expectation) to fuck women.

Because Romney doesn't believe in:
-affordable healthcare (affordable birth control)
-Planned Parenthood (again affordable reproductive healthcare)
-Abortion (oops, your stuck as God intended)

So, that mean your left with Men and Dogs. I forgot, Romney doesn't support Same Sex Marriages.

Guess you're stuck with dogs.
Posted by albeit on November 1, 2012 at 8:39 PM · Report this
80
Maybe inflating your balls takes you into a "swing state"? Could be useful come election time.
Posted by Eirene on November 1, 2012 at 5:19 PM · Report this
79
@60: To each his or her own. What you describe still doesn't appeal to me, though.
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 1, 2012 at 3:39 PM · Report this
78
@67: Those are pretty big balls for a small brain.
Posted by auntie grizelda on November 1, 2012 at 3:35 PM · Report this
77
The CAMgirl mad that he's talking to other cammers reminds me of http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493420/
Posted by of course you're being played on November 1, 2012 at 2:35 PM · Report this
76
Saline balls. I do it. I love it. I like when I'm getting fucked and those huge clangerscare just banging all around. Totally enhances a session!
Posted by pdxblueyes on November 1, 2012 at 1:13 PM · Report this
seandr 75
@69: Preferential voting means you can protest-vote whichever third party candidate you like and your vote isn't wasted, but passed on to your main candidate of choice.

That would be a wonderful improvement to what we have. Unfortunately, our country is too divided, and the voting population so flooded with ignorance and distrust, that making structural improvements such implementing preferential voting, or getting rid of the electoral college, is all but impossible.

This sort of disfunction makes it easy to understand why throughout history great empires inevitably crumble.
Posted by seandr on November 1, 2012 at 12:51 PM · Report this
seandr 74
@59:they claim to see "no difference" between R's & D's.

This is just ignorance, and it's particularly infuriating to me. My wife was diagnosed with a disease this year that has no cure but can be managed through meds. We are both self-employed, so the only insurance option available in Washington state was a shitty individual plan that would have left us with $50,000 in out of pocket medical bills. Every year.

Thanks to Obama's health care reform, however, my business now qualifies for the better plans available through group coverage, and they couldn't exclude us based on her pre-existing condition.

Obama has made a huge difference to us, and millions of others who have been screwed by the previous insurance laws. A vote against Obama, whether for Romney or an unelectable 3rd party candidate, would have real, disastrous consequences to us and so many others in the same boat.

And that's not mention reproductive rights, gay rights, education, etc.
Posted by seandr on November 1, 2012 at 12:40 PM · Report this
73
@68 yes.

And in particular: "If you want a revolution, you need to hope things get much much worse" ...and also accept the enormous number of people who will be maimed and die young for your revolution. Those are the stakes.
Posted by EricaP on November 1, 2012 at 12:28 PM · Report this
72
CAM's letter reads like a ad for the cam-girl industry. It seems like she just wrote out the fantasy of everyone who pays for these sites-- "She'll get to know the real me and fall in love!"

It's not impossible, but a couple letters like that ending up on a few different sex/relationship advice columns might convince a few people, still holding somewhat of a grasp on reality, to whip out their CC. Probably wrong here, but it's almost funny how it's a reverse-Penthouse Forum letter.
Posted by Mathme on November 1, 2012 at 11:21 AM · Report this
71
i think ping-pong sized balls would be adorable. grapefruits, not so much.
Posted by ribs on November 1, 2012 at 10:53 AM · Report this
70
@66 There are actually sane cryptozoologists, but proportionally, they barely push the needle.

In fact, the field itself is so full of ridiculous quackery, that sorting them by the ideological underpinnings of their beliefs does not usually garner one additional insight or respect.
Posted by Apropos Of Nothing; With No Useful Parallels on November 1, 2012 at 9:40 AM · Report this
69
How is it that all you intelligent, thoughtful Americans are still ok with voting on a first-past-the-post system? Preferential voting means you can protest-vote whichever third party candidate you like and your vote isn't wasted, but passed on to your main candidate of choice.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Instant-run…
Posted by alice.australia on November 1, 2012 at 9:37 AM · Report this
seandr 68
migrationist: But sometimes a third party grows strong enough to kick one of the two main parties out.

This can happen if:
1) the 3rd party effectively co-opts the platform of one of the two-parties. The net result is still a two party system with one party switching names. Nothing but a game of musical chairs.
2) there is a revolution, usually under desperate circumstances, such as the one that put Hitler's national socialist party into power. Again, the result is still a two-party, or more likely a one-party system.

If you want multiple parties, you need proportional representation. If you want a revolution, you need to hope things get much much worse so that a majority of people start believing your "sky is falling" platform.
Posted by seandr on November 1, 2012 at 9:29 AM · Report this
67
I'm voting for Obama but if Romney wins I won't be inflating my ball sack.

More importantly, I'm voting for McKenna.
Posted by Cletus on November 1, 2012 at 8:31 AM · Report this
66
@Barbara (29)
Please don't lump "supports homeschooling" in with all the "bad stuff." Have you tried it? Have you been involved in any homeschooling communities? Lumping homeschoolers in with religious or conservative nuts is inaccurate, like lumping all straights in with homophobes. Homeschooling well done provides an education that is as good or better than a public or private school education. There are *lots* of liberal homeschoolers- half of all the homeschoolers in our community belong to the secular group, not the religious group, and some of those in the religious group share liberal values. Most of the homeschoolers, whether they claim a religion or not, are homeschooling for educational reasons, not religious reasons or a shelter-my-kid-from-anything-with-which-I-could-possibly-disagree philosophy. Do not dismiss us, especially from what i suspect is an uninformed position.
Posted by SfR on November 1, 2012 at 8:28 AM · Report this
65
If you live in a state that is clearly Republican like mine: 7 Republicans (electoral college) in the past 10 presidential elections, 57% popular vote Republican in the past 2 elections, and the latest poll has Romney winning by 59%, there is no reason you shouldn't vote for the candidate you'd prefer.
This "don't waste your vote" argument is old and tired -- it is the argument used by both Democrats and Republicans to keep the system as it is. If more people voted third party consistently, placed them in city state house and senate, and federal position, we would have a viable democracy where there are actual choices.
Vote for who you want not against the one you don't want.
Posted by anIndependentInASolidRedState on November 1, 2012 at 7:05 AM · Report this
64
But sometimes a third party grows strong enough to kick one of the two main parties out.

The British Labour party managed to overtake the liberal party in the 1920s, and the liberals never really recuperated from that.
Posted by migrationist on November 1, 2012 at 4:38 AM · Report this
seandr 63
@52: No third party is going to have a chance nationally until it is well represented at the local and state levels.

I hear that said a lot, but it ignores the realities of our political system. A 3rd party local politician can win if he's representation a small, homogeneous community of outliers. That isn't going to help at all in a national election, which isn't restricted to the outliers.

The fact is, an outlier party will never win an election that requires a majority. They can win proportional elections, however, such as those in the German and Isaeli parliamentary systems. If you want fringe parties in office, you need to lobby for a proportional election system.
Posted by seandr on October 31, 2012 at 11:35 PM · Report this
seandr 62
Obama hasn't been perfect, too much like Republicans, etc.

Right, that's because we have a winner take all system that requires Obama to play the game if he wishes to stay in a position of accomplishing anything. Basically, we have candidates who would like to do the right thing, but would immediately lose if that puts them outside the majority. So, they do the best they can within the constraints of the winner take all the system.

The problem isn't Obama's personal politics and motives, it's winner take all. If you want 3rd, 4th, and 5th party options, you need to replace winner take all with a system of proportional representation. Until we have proportional representation, voting for 3rd parties is effectively not voting at all. It sends absolutely no message, other than who cares about the 3rd party because they won't win.
Posted by seandr on October 31, 2012 at 11:26 PM · Report this
hexalm 61
Ah, the catch-22 of wanting third parties but nobody voting for them. @37 and the opposing view point do bring up good points (although I think Horton is overstating the case against Obama).

If my state's electoral votes weren't certainly going to Obama, I'd not have protest voted for a third party, but he leads Romney by such a margin that my vote isn't going to be worth much.

And since the vast majority of people I'm surrounded by end up voting pragmatically for the Dems, I'm not worried about a surprise result upset. I don't see 800,000 people doing what I did...

If either of these things wasn't true, I'd not have voted the way I did. It felt good not to limit myself based on fear though.

The one decision I'm regretting is voting so early...a little more suspense than I'm used to, since I usually do it last minute!
Posted by hexalm on October 31, 2012 at 11:08 PM · Report this
seandr 60
@1 why would guys want to have grapefruit sized balls?

Was wondering the same thing, then I clicked on the link Dan provided depicting a guy banging a woman with his giant balls slapping every which way against her ass. The added stimulation of a set of huge balls slapping your ass while being fucked seemed like a nice benefit.
Posted by seandr on October 31, 2012 at 11:07 PM · Report this
Eva Hopkins 59
Totally got into the same argument today w/ someone close to me: They're not gonna vote, 'cause "their guy" (Ron Paul) didn't get onto the ballot, and they claim to see "no difference" between R's & D's.

If your *only* concern is the economy & not any social issues at all, then brutally logistically speaking, he's not far off. I did some research on spending by the most recent administrations. Although Gore likely wouldn't have gotten us into Iraq, historically there's not actually a huge amount of difference between Dem's & Repub's spending percentagewise - ie, what portions of the national budget get allotted for XYZ thing.

So, his argument is, we're going to hell in a handbasket economically & neither candidate has a clear idea about what to do about it, so why vote for either?

I sat him down & read w/ him many articles form both sides of the fence about how the economy is slowly improving. But he basically just wanted to have a Libertarian tantrum.

In theory, fine concept. In application, less so.

The moment you deviate from the topic of the economy, even a little, there's huge ideological differences between Obama & Romney & I get so freaking pissed off when people just write that off. Especially 'cause we live in a swing state. (I miss my home state of NY, so much!)
Posted by Eva Hopkins http://www.lunamusestudios.com on October 31, 2012 at 10:44 PM · Report this
58
Okay. I'm shutting up and going back to my Halloween candy now.
Posted by auntie grizelda on October 31, 2012 at 10:42 PM · Report this
57
@12: Thank you! I could NOT have said it any better!
Posted by auntie grizelda on October 31, 2012 at 10:41 PM · Report this
56
@48 Hunter78: I'm with @50 and @51, too.
While there may be some ladies who love it, grapefruits must be more of a guy thing.
Posted by auntie grizelda on October 31, 2012 at 10:39 PM · Report this
55
Someone should tell CUM that "mortified" means embarrassed. When I read that he was mortified by what he found in his Google search I wondered if he saw someone he knew or something.
Posted by Nowan U Noh on October 31, 2012 at 10:30 PM · Report this
Scarlet_Spider 54
@37 raises a solid point. Change in the Democratic Party is possible on the local level,usually more so in non-election years. Sick of the Dems not reflecting the progressive component of their coalition? After the election become involved in the party and push that way. It may be more work than a 3rd party vote, but it moves things in a better direction.
Posted by Scarlet_Spider on October 31, 2012 at 9:01 PM · Report this
53
CAM never should have stopped charging the guy. If you work in any field where you have a one on one practitioner/client dynamic, you don't just charge the people you don't like, you charge everyone equally because it's the ethical thing to do. Barter is fine, as long as nobody feels taken advantage of. The exchange is integral to the fact that it's a professional relationship, and it is not an insult to the payer. It's how you pay rent, and a good client will understand that.

If the relationship changes, then by all means one can rethink that, but it didn't. And I DO think CAM is being taken advantage of, but possibly not intentionally. He might just figure she's being nice and hasn't clued in to her evidently heightening emotions. He might not realize he's in a unique position with her. Time to let him know that.
Posted by KDru on October 31, 2012 at 9:00 PM · Report this
shurenka 52
I also would like to second @37.

If you're really interested in making major, long-term political change -- it's gotta start at the local level. No third party is going to have a chance nationally until it is well represented at the local and state levels. So the real question is, would you rather support a candidate who is likely to win and who supports some of your interests, or throw that support away out of pride and principle?

By voting for Nader et al you are essentially cutting off your nose to spite your face.
Posted by shurenka on October 31, 2012 at 8:46 PM · Report this
sanguisuga 51
@48 - Nope!
Posted by sanguisuga on October 31, 2012 at 7:40 PM · Report this
Sea Otter 50
@48 Not me, that's for sure.

Something tells me it's probably mostly men who are into grapefruit-sized balls, whether it's their own or someone else's. I imagine there's some psychology at play in the grapefruit balls fetish that's kind of exclusive to people who have balls. I'm pretty sure most women are just going to think, "dude, why'd you do that to your balls?"

On the other hand, people being what they are, it stands to reason that there must be at least a few women out there who are turned on by it. And I'm sure there are kinky women who dig administering the saline solution.

Posted by Sea Otter on October 31, 2012 at 7:32 PM · Report this
49
Does anyone really think that Gore would have gotten us into Iraq? Seriously? The idea that the parties are identical is ludicrous. I guess a trillion dollar war doesn't matter if you aren't fighting it.

Gore never became president for many reasons. But one big reason was because a handful of fools (in Florida and New Hampshire) voted for Nader.

As mentioned, if you live in a state that is going for Romney anyway, vote for whoever you want, but don't expect it to make a difference. It never does. Seriously, here are some names for you:

Teddy Roosevelt -- Split from the Republican party because he thought it wasn't progressive enough. The Republican party then became the business party (and it remains so).

George Wallace -- Split from the Democratic Party because of segregation and civil rights (he didn't want them). The Democratic Party then moved more to the left and continued to push for civil rights and thus because the opposite of what Wallace wanted.

John Anderson -- Split from the Republican Party because Reagan was too extreme. Almost every election since then has seen the Republican Party become as extreme, if not more extreme than Reagan.

Ralph Nader -- Ran because Clinton wasn't progressive enough, and Gore was not enough of an environmentalist. The Democratic Party has since nominated more centrists and made modest progress on environmental issues -- the strongest environmentalist was probably the man Nader helped defeat.

All of these candidates have the same thing in common. Not only did they lose in the short term (playing a part in electing someone they didn't want to see elected) but they lost in the long term. Their desire to see their party move in the direction they wanted it to move never happened. The opposite happened. I know of no counter example, by the way. Maybe one of you can point to history to justify your vote. Good luck.

Savage knows a butt load about both politics and sex. Hold your nose and vote for Obama.
More...
Posted by Ross on October 31, 2012 at 6:33 PM · Report this
48
Do any women here consider grapefruit balls hot?

Posted by Hunter78 on October 31, 2012 at 5:42 PM · Report this
47
@37

Precisely. I'm not even from the US but it seems fairly obvious to me why undecided voters should vote for Obama over Romney.

The plurality rule system of the US means that Duverger's Law applies. There's no chance of an effective third party in the US without considerable social and political upheaval, hence there is no value to a third party vote.
Posted by 5ht on October 31, 2012 at 4:38 PM · Report this
46
I clicked to see the "saline balls" in action and I'm glad that I did—it's really kind of delightful! Definitely more silly than sexy though.

People who watch porn—even to excess—are generally more fun to fuck, date and/or be friends with than are people who don't, in my experience. I'm not on-board with Dan's anti-porn sex and anti-porn enthusiast agenda.

I would vote third-party if we had instant-runoff voting; however, since we don't, I'm voting for the most-likely person to win who isn't Romney. Obama hasn't been perfect, but there is some wisdom to that cliché about not letting perfection be the enemy of the good enough. Relative to Romney, Obama is good enough. How many right-wingers do you think will vote for a third-party candidate over Romney because he's not genuinely conservative enough? Not many, I bet. They're just voting for the guy who's most likely to win who isn't black.
Posted by Larry David's Foreskin on October 31, 2012 at 3:45 PM · Report this
45
Obama, yes!
Marriage equality, yes!
:o)
Posted by spoon on October 31, 2012 at 3:31 PM · Report this
44
Well, here's a way of unifying the important topics: "Vote Libertarian in 2012: We have a nice Johnson"
Posted by Thexalon on October 31, 2012 at 2:45 PM · Report this
Robin8 43
Sorry, but I'm with repete. The Dem party hasn't done the LGBT community any favors. My vote's been with Gary Johnson since the spring. In fact, I've already voted.

ONLY the LP is interested in true liberty and equality.
Posted by Robin8 http://shutyoureverlovingpiehole.wordpress.com on October 31, 2012 at 2:35 PM · Report this
Tim Horton 42
@37 and others who claim a third party vote is a waste: I assume that if your choice in a close election was between Maggie Gallagher and Rick Santorum, you might just as well vote for a third party then actively pledge support for one candidate you didn't agree with.

Personally, I see little difference between former Mass. Gov. Romney and Obama on big issues. Perhaps if Gary Johnson supporters, who are probably 5-10% of the population, voted for him, the major parties might adopt some of his positions on drug reform, etc. If I keep voting for a democrat because its the lesser of evils, and third party reformers keep getting .032% of the vote, Obama will continue to break promises and raid marijuana clinics, launch foreign wars without congressional approval, saddle our children with debts, etc.

Notwithstanding the above,I am ready for the election to be over so we can back to more important topics.

Posted by Tim Horton on October 31, 2012 at 12:53 PM · Report this
41
Not that I disagree with DS's voting request, but it just destroys my faith in our government to think that I will be voting for Obama because he's *not* threatening my liberty, and not because I think he will improve our country.
Posted by PinkieB on October 31, 2012 at 12:44 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 40
Anyone who wants to see a pair of grapefruit-sized "saline balls"

Ummmm.... No. Thanks for thinking of me, though!
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on October 31, 2012 at 12:34 PM · Report this
39
@2: While I'm well aware that turn ons are subjective, like a lot of other things, I was referring to @3's specified reasons, from experience in the ER, why a lot of men would NOT want grapefruit sized balls.

I see this similar to reasons why some big-busted women, experiencing chronic back pain, would seek breast reduction surgery.
Posted by auntie grizelda on October 31, 2012 at 12:14 PM · Report this
38
Some interesting commentary regarding whether to vote for Obama:

http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/ob…
Posted by not guilty on October 31, 2012 at 12:08 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 37
There is no value to a third party vote, or promoting a third party at all, because of the way our system is set up: Most votes wins. That means the party that splits into two will loose twice.

Perot helped Clinton get elected in '92 by splitting the R vote & Nader helped Bush get elected in '80 by splitting the D vote. Third parties always help their worst enemies, so voting for them is worse than throwing your vote away. Just stick a fork in your eye & be done w/ it.

Think both parties are the same? Well, boo-fucking-hoo. Welcome to American politics. I'm glad you've started paying attention. Of course, they're not the same, although neither of them wants fundamental change to the socio-economic system, which is what most of us would like. Amiright?

Your vote for anything federal isn't going to bring that fundamental change, so at least vote for the guy who will negotiate some concessions when he sells you into slavery, rather than the guy who will sell your body outright to the dog food cannery. (I'm talking D v. R, here.)

"Meaningful change," if that is even possible, will happen at the local level. Vote for progressive candidates, initiatives, and laugh at the hypocrisy of living in "the land of the free." Unless a Constitutional Congress is convened, we'll just have to live w/ what we've got.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on October 31, 2012 at 11:58 AM · Report this
Tim Horton 36
I had a massive vasovagal syncopal episode reading the saline balls column.

I logged on to agree with @28.

I will go back to my swing state and apologize to Mrs. Horton for voting for Johnson over Obama.
Posted by Tim Horton on October 31, 2012 at 11:47 AM · Report this
35
@32 "Can we stop discussing politics and get back to the grapefruit sized junk?"

The Republicans have the hypocritical, grapefruit sized balls to try to shove their politics all up into my junk, your junk, and everyone else's junk; Dan's colmn has to acknowledge that, yes?

For myself, I was curious enough to click and now I am trying to unsee those "saline balls" in action.
Posted by Bullballs By Oxballs on October 31, 2012 at 11:25 AM · Report this
34
I'm a Minnesota Vote No-er!!!

I'll be voting for Obama, but my husband is going the third-party route....which I think will be okay. Minnesota was the only state to vote for Mondale, so we're pretty firmly commited to the left as far as presidents go.
Posted by wigfield84 on October 31, 2012 at 11:01 AM · Report this
33
32 - Yes, if you can get Dan to quit bringing politics up in the column we'll keep it out of the comments.

I miss the old columns, which had more stories about cool stuff like scrotum inflation. Or shoving condom-covered bananas up your ass and shitting them back out.
Posted by gibson99 on October 31, 2012 at 10:44 AM · Report this
32
Can we stop discussing politics and get back to the grapefruit sized junk?
Posted by Texans on October 31, 2012 at 10:11 AM · Report this
31
What do Jesse Ventura, Bernie Sanders, Lincoln Chafee, and even fucking Joe Lieberman have in common?

They've all actually been elected as independents, which makes any one of them, including fucking Joe Lieberman, a more credible third-party Presidential candidate, even in 2012, than all your protest vote party candidates put together.

If you consider yourselves serious parties, and want us to consider taking you seriously, put in the serious work and get some candidates elected into actual offices.
Posted by Peta Lindsay Is Seriously Hot on October 31, 2012 at 10:04 AM · Report this
30
i think cam girl is wasting energy on this guy. she's clearly way more attached to this guy than he is to her. i originally met the guy i consider my bf in a similar way (although he was never paying me; we started chatting on skype way before we met in person). he has other girls he cams with sometimes. i think it's cute he's such a slut. but the difference is that i know where i stand with him. like any open relationship, knowing that you're the primary or the side piece helps you feel secure in where it's going. i know i'm his favorite, and he always txts or messages me if he's going to be playing with someone else to let me know (and we usually chat anyway before or after anyway).

i agree that if she wants more (whatever that means), she should ask for it. but she shouldn't be surprised if he says no.
Posted by skypeslut on October 31, 2012 at 10:04 AM · Report this
29
I live in Ohio, so voted already for Obama. I was disappointed at the lack of 3rd party choice down ticket. The only non-D or R was a tea partier running against weenie boy Josh Mandel and Sherrod Brown for the senate seat. Oh yeah... there's also a right wingnut running for the state school board who wants parents to opt their kids in for sex ed, rather than opting out, and is a huge fan of home schooling. brr... At least he thinks creationism belongs in a comparative religion course. Where are the progressives for the congressional seats?
Posted by Barbara on October 31, 2012 at 10:01 AM · Report this
28
I'm glad to see so many going 3rd-party. Sorry, but tepid gay marriage support and other pandering doesn't make up for the continued military adventures, domestic spying, drone warfare, medical marijuana DEA raids, handouts to banks and insurance companies, and the other shit that has come out of Bush III's time in office.
Posted by gibson99 on October 31, 2012 at 9:55 AM · Report this
27
President Obama's record is less than sterling. Don't forget, though, that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is 79 years old and a two-time cancer survivor. The President elected this year will in all likelihood nominate her successor. Do we want a President who has expressed his wish that Robert Bork were now on the Supreme Court?

Any sex-positive person who casts a vote to put Mitt Romney in the White House--that is, any vote not for Obama--(or who declines to vote at all) is a damn quisling in the culture wars.
Posted by not guilty on October 31, 2012 at 9:55 AM · Report this
26
Those of us not in swing states can freely cast a 3rd party protest vote to send a message without risk of Nadering. Gary Johnson (Libertarian) and Jill Stein (Green) are both are in favor of decent human rights.

But swing state voters (specifically OH, VA, IA, CO, WI, FL & NH), please hold your noses and go for Obama.

Also, folks in WA, MN, MD & ME: marriage equality on the ballot, get it right this time.
Posted by Foo Bar on October 31, 2012 at 9:42 AM · Report this
25
Of course I'm going to vote for the lesser of two evils. Otherwise I am effectively voting for the greater evil.

When we get an electoral system that allows for more than two parties to actually be electable, I will vote for my favorite candidate. Until then, I'm voting against the guy that I really don't want to see in office.
Posted by avast2006 on October 31, 2012 at 9:06 AM · Report this
24
I'm kind of curious to know how this whole saline balls thing got started. Who first started doing this? IV, saline-these are not materials that are just lying around the house! I can't think of any explanation other than someone with medical knowledge and access to materials decided to just test things out one day and the practice spread.
Posted by More unbelievable than rainbow parties on October 31, 2012 at 9:05 AM · Report this
23
I will be voting Green next week and the idea that this is automatically a vote for Romney is not true for those of us living in non-swing states. Nor is it "throwing our votes away" as some argue. In fact, for a NYer or Texan to vote Green is less like throwing our votes away than voting for the candidate we don't really support and whose win or loss in our state is a foregone conclusion anyway. Better to send the protest message to the candidate who took your vote for granted and help build up the third party. Those in Ohio, however, do as I say and not as I do: vote Obama.
Posted by bmedge on October 31, 2012 at 9:01 AM · Report this
22
I will be voting Green next week and the idea that this is automatically a vote for Romney is not true for those of us living in non-swing states. Nor is it "throwing our votes away" as some argue. In fact, for a NYer or Texan to vote Green is less like throwing our votes away than voting for the candidate we don't really support and whose win or loss in our state is a foregone conclusion anyway. Better to send the protest message to the candidate who took your vote for granted and help build up the third party. Those in Ohio, however, do as I say and not as I do: vote Obama.
Posted by bmedge on October 31, 2012 at 9:00 AM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 21
Protest voting may be cool to brag about to your friends, but if you have any rational thought at all in your head, you would vote for third parties down-ticket so that they become a tangible option at some point in the future instead of a once-every-four-years circus. Voting for a third party once every four years to be edgy does nothing.

So you believe Obama has not been progressive enough, so you protest vote for Romney, who has vowed to be extremely regressive. This is extremely stupid, and exactly why republicans have been calling the shots and framing the entire game for years. As soon as one democrat is not pure enough for you, or not perfect, you cry, go home, and help the GOP.
Posted by Theodore Gorath on October 31, 2012 at 8:50 AM · Report this
20
CAM's letter sounds like a pitch for a Lifetime movie, with Eric Roberts & Miley Cyrus.
Posted by wayne on October 31, 2012 at 8:26 AM · Report this
19
Dan, I was going to vote for Obama, as well as Progressive Democrats for Congress and State Senate (a really important one), but I'm not sure I'll be able to uncross my legs by Election Day now.
Posted by Howlin' Jed on October 31, 2012 at 7:51 AM · Report this
18
I'm not voting for Obama either. (I live in a red state.) If I'm going to waste a vote it'll be on someone I'd actually like to see elected, gay marriage supporter Gary Johnson.
Posted by repete on October 31, 2012 at 7:20 AM · Report this
17
No tears if Romney/Ryan ticket wins. At this point, I'd rather vote for an independent before voting for them. At least then, if I toss my vote in the toilet, I wouldn't have to fear it clogging up the bowl later.
Posted by chickluv on October 31, 2012 at 7:16 AM · Report this
16
I live in Kansas, a firmly Republican state, so my vote doesn't count. So, rather than waste it on Obama, I'm voting for another supporter of gay marriage, Gary Johnson. :)
Posted by repete on October 31, 2012 at 7:15 AM · Report this
15
@4 - btw - I read Stoller's Salon article and I agree with almost everything contained in that piece. HOWEVER, the time for building a third-party consensus is long past and we are now stuck with the lesser-of-two-evils choice. The Pit or the Pendulum. And I will maintain that throughout all of the sins listed in Stoller's article, Obama and the Democratic ticket is a far sight better than ANYTHING the Republicans have to offer. (Republicans? Really? The people who think "The Handmaid's Tale" is a How-To manual?) These are the ONLY two choices we have.

...for now.

Vote Obama on Nov 6, ensure that we have reasonable choices for the Supreme Court in the next few years, and let's start working on third-party viability TODAY.
Posted by rael1964 on October 31, 2012 at 7:15 AM · Report this
Posted by gh50 on October 31, 2012 at 7:13 AM · Report this
13
Then don't complain when the alternative happens via a Romney/Ryan win. At this point, I'd vote for an independent before Romney. At least then, I wouldn't feel like I was flushing my vote down the toilet, only to have it clog up the bowl.
Posted by chickluv on October 31, 2012 at 7:10 AM · Report this
12
@4, @11:
Don't come bitching to us when your pie-in-the-sky third party candidate loses and the right-wing, christo-fascist plutocrats are finally enshrined. Please shut your mouth about the "there's no difference" malarkey when you find out that gays will NEVER get legally married (and homosexuality is outlawed entirely), Roe v. Wade is overturned (and the sin of Onanism carries a life sentence), the 10 Commandments are chiseled into the courthouse walls and Jesus is the final arbiter of all things legal. Whatever miniscule thread of human decency we were still clinging to today will be shredded forever. Good luck with the Oligarchy!
Posted by rael1964 on October 31, 2012 at 6:58 AM · Report this
samanthaf63 11
No. 8 - we all have a right to our opinions. I'm not voting Obama either. And surprise! lots of other folks feel the same way.
Posted by samanthaf63 on October 31, 2012 at 6:05 AM · Report this
10
argh... sorry for double posts, the internet ate my comment.
Posted by misspiggy on October 31, 2012 at 5:43 AM · Report this
9
Oh come on, 4, do we have to have this again? At this point, any vote not for Obama is a vote for Romney. Anyone not voting who would have voted against Romney is also effectively casting a vote for Romney. Sorry and all that, but there it is.
Posted by misspiggy on October 31, 2012 at 5:42 AM · Report this
8
Oh come on, 4, do we have to have this again? At this point, any vote not for Obama is a vote for Romney. Sorry and all that, but there it is.
Posted by misspiggy on October 31, 2012 at 5:40 AM · Report this
7
In RE: Big Balls: I give you AC-DC
Posted by Frenchmark on October 31, 2012 at 5:21 AM · Report this
6
In RE: Big Balls: I give you AC-DC
Posted by Frenchmark on October 31, 2012 at 5:19 AM · Report this
5
For those ignoramuses like me who didn't know without googling, CFNM = clothed female naked male.
Posted by philgirl on October 31, 2012 at 5:17 AM · Report this
4
"Please vote on November 6—or before November 6—for Barack Obama."

No thanks.
Posted by gh50 on October 31, 2012 at 4:56 AM · Report this
3
Some guys get grapefruit-sized balls from the edema associated with heart or liver failure. Sometimes it's so bad that their penises seem to get swallowed up by their balls and they can't pee. None of the guys I've seen with this seem in any way amused or turned on when this happens. But now I know that for some people this could be the best part of getting old and sick! Google image scrotal edema --wanks for some; motivation to eat well, exercise and not overdrink for others!!!
Posted by Fun in the ER on October 31, 2012 at 3:51 AM · Report this
2
@1 Your question about balls is only dumb because either your reading comprehension and retention is quite bad, or because you're in the habit of praising columnists you don't bother to read.

From the column your comment is appended to:

As for why this is a turn-on, well, turn-ons are highly subjective.

"The turn-on answer varies from person to person," says Dart. "For some, there is a certain rush from temporarily modifying a part of their body to a 'monstrous' size. Others have 'medical play' fantasies. In a power exchange setting between a dominant and a submissive, the dom may get off on 'altering' a part of the sub's body against the sub's will, while the sub may get turned on by the humiliation aspect. It's a wide spectrum.

Posted by Functional Atheist on October 31, 2012 at 3:20 AM · Report this
1
Dan--once again with heartfelt feeling: YOU ROCK!!!!
YES for Obama / Biden 2012, and hell YES on marriage equality!!
And why the fucking hell does the Seattle Times endorse Rob McKenna?!?

Here's a dumb question: why would guys want to have grapefruit sized balls?
Posted by auntie grizelda on October 31, 2012 at 2:11 AM · Report this

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