The Stranger

How to shake off yesterday's Christmas-ness? How else but with a bunch of faggots dancing? Faggots and the people who love them have been dancing off all kinds of things at Comeback—Chop Suey's once-monthly non-hetero-normative dance night—for years. It's worth braving the cold for, but wear layers: You'll want as little as possible on you when you hit the dance floor. Usual lineup: DJ Colby B, DJ Fucking in the Streets, and DJ Pony Boy. (Chop Suey, 1235 E Madison St, 324-8000. 9 pm, $5 before 11 pm/$7 after, 21+.) by Christopher Frizzelle

Link  |  Post Comment (2)

There is more than mere nostalgia at stake. An entire generation of children is being taught to ice-skate USING WALKERS, a trend that threatens to ruin skating forever. Are children more fragile than ever before? Has the pathetic little ice rink at Seattle Center been expanded to accommodate these new six-legged wuss-monsters? NO. Those of us on the side of right and the side of sense must go and do something. Make a scene. Take away a walker. Do whatever you must. (Fisher Pavilion, Seattle Center, 684-7200. 11 am–10 pm, $5 adult/$3 child plus $2 skate rental.) by Jen Graves

Link  |  Post Comment (1)

Shot on shaky black-and-white video, this weird, engrossing Japanese creeper delves into the life of Sumida, a physically handicapped drunk who speaks through a robotic keyboard machine. His face involuntarily fixed in a goofy grin, Sumida scoots around town, rocks out at hardcore shows, and kills people. The robot voice says: "I will at-tack you. I will at-tack you." Then shit gets weird. (Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St, 523-3935. 3, 5, 7, 9 pm, $8.) by Lindy West

Link  |  Post Comment (0)

Apparently, some among you have never eaten Campbell's alphabet soup. Are you people Communists? ALIENS? True, it does contain high-fructose corn syrup and MSG, but it also contains letters (40 percent more as of 2002). Eating letters makes you smarter. Eating your beloved's initials makes them fall in love with you. Make it with organic whole milk (three-fourths of a can instead of a full one). Warm it slowly, stirring occasionally, then grate some good Parm or cheddar onto it. If you've got homemade croutons, now is the time. Welcome to America. (Campbell's Vegetable "The Alphabet" Soup, $1.69, a store near you.) by Bethany Jean Clement

Link  |  Post Comment (16)

Decibel director Sean Horton never stints when he throws a party. Case in point: this elite, two-night showcase. Dubbed "Best of Bass 2008," tonight's show finds Berlin headliner Jesse Rose bringing his inventive, low-freakuency house music to banish your 2008 blues. Helping him to achieve this noble feat are Philadelphia electro-house seducer KiloWatts and L.A.'s Deru, who imbues glitch-hop with sensual textures and high-friction funkiness. Micro Decibel continues NYE with another potent lineup. Face it: You're going to be hurting come January 1. (Neumos, 925 E Pike St, 709-9467. 8 pm, $15 adv/$18 DOS, 21+.) by Dave Segal

Link  |  Post Comment (0)

Emerald City Soul Club is already three years old, and it's still one of the very best things about this city. The people are spiffed up (both vintage and au courant), the jackasses are scarce (usually), and the soul is rare and hot (one night, a DJ put on a Junior McCants record worth $16,000 for the floor's dancing pleasure). The line will be longer than the Lord, so come early and have a drink. Once you've achieved proper lubrication, get out there and shake a tail feather. (Lo-Fi, 429 Eastlake Ave E, 254-2824. 9 pm, $10, 21+.) by Brendan Kiley

Link  |  Post Comment (8)

This restaurant is so far away from my house that it might as well be in the actual Shanghai. But I would happily travel to the actual Shanghai just for Chiang's Gourmet's homemade pan-fried noodles. I would travel to Shanghai on the back of a bad-tempered donkey. These noodles are my favorite food. They are chewy and salty and amazing. Get them with chicken. (Chiang's Gourmet, 7845 Lake City Way NE, 527-8888. 11:30 am–9:30 pm.) by Lindy West

Link  |  Post Comment (7)