MON
DEC 7, 2009
Hank Stuever BOOKS / READING
Hank Stuever

Hank Stuever's new book, Tinsel, documents three consecutive Christmases in the upper-middle-class Texas town of Frisco, including a woman who decorates McMansions for $150 an hour, a man whose overly decorated home is a YouTube sensation, and other ghastly holiday monstrosities. But maybe, Stuever convincingly argues, all this commercial excess is "more historically appropriate" than a pious, Christian Christmas. Stuever's clear-eyed examination of America in holiday orgy–mode is energetic, acerbic, and informative. (Elliott Bay Book Company, 101 S Main St, 624-6600. 7 pm, free.)

TUE
DEC 8, 2009
Cherie Priest BOOKS / READING
Cherie Priest

Cherie Priest blows up Seattle real good in her new sci-fi novel, Boneshaker. It's a steampunk alternate-reality thriller. (Nerd-to-English translation: While our fair city is festooned with blimps in Boneshaker—which is, of course, totally fucking awesome—we are also plagued by air pirates and zombielike creatures named Rotters.) Local author Priest knows how to bring the fun to science fiction, and Boneshaker zips along like a smart, seductive summer blockbuster. That the main character is the kind of smart, ass-kicking heroine you rarely see anchoring such an adventure is merely a happy bonus. (Third Place Books, 17171 Bothell Way NE, 366-3333. 7 pm, free.)

WED
DEC 9, 2009
Gregg Kowalsky

For a tiny segment of the world's music lovers, drones are as essential as oxygen. While many find this minimal, seemingly static style somnolent, true drone-oisseurs exalt it as the ultimate expression of sonic transcendence. Gregg Kowalsky proved his mettle with 2006's Through the Cardial Window, a nutritious aural soup of guitar, violin, melodica, and field recordings. With this year's Tape Chants, Kowalsky feeds the sounds of shruti box, gongs, and percussion through a cassette recorder, forging intimate, whorling sine-wave symphonies. It's pure bliss. (Josephine, 608 NW 65th St, www.myspace.com/thejosephine. 9 pm.)

THU
DEC 10, 2009
Jess Walter BOOKS
Jess Walter

Just when you think you'll never read another novel about a man going through a midlife crisis, local author Jess Walter goes and makes you his bitch. His new book, The Financial Lives of the Poets, is about a middle-aged man who's about to lose his house and his cushy middle-class life after his website that gives financial advice in the form of poetry goes belly-up. He winds up making deals with pot dealers who used to be lawyers in a narrative that's as compulsively readable as a Grisham thriller and as beautifully written as anything you'll read this year. (Third Place Books, 17171 Bothell Way NE, 366-3333. 7 pm, free.)

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FRI
DEC 11, 2009
The Cops MUSIC
The Cops

Post-punk rockers the Cops were one of my longtime favorite Seattle fun-time bands. Then they broke up. Why? I don't know. Tonight they'll return to the stage for a one-time-only performance. Why? I don't know this, either. I do know, however, that they'll be performing songs from their entire catalog and they'll be playing with Thee Sgt. Major III and Eugene Wendell & the Demon Rind. It will surely be fun times again. (Tractor Tavern, 5213 Ballard Ave NW, 789-3599. 9:30 pm, $10, 21+.)

'The Room' FILM

No, seriously: The Room is the worst movie in the world that you absolutely must see. Over the past half decade, Tommy Wiseau's cinematic cri de coeur has earned cult status for its unflinching portrayal of who the fuck knows what, including a tumultuous love triangle, an on-again/off-again battle with cancer, the erotic power of long-stemmed roses, and big manly heartbreak. The result is a mind-bending stinker of a film that will leave you gaping in awe. (Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave, www.central-cinema.com. 9:30 pm, $6, 21+.)

Also Suggested Today: The Cops'The Room'
SAT
DEC 12, 2009
'Penguins, Episode 1' THEATER / STAGE
'Penguins, Episode 1'

Penguins is Scot Augustson's dark, shockingly funny late-night serial comedy chronicling a gangland war between priests and nuns. In advance of this spring's much-anticipated Episode 2, Annex is remounting Penguins, Episode 1: Heaven the Hard Way, directed by Bret Fetzer and featuring a uniformly sharp cast. As I wrote in my gushy original review: "Penguins comes on like a hard-boiled crime thriller, with gangster priests, gun-toting nuns, and a bottomless well of depravity." It's quite wonderful. (Annex Theatre, 1100 E Pike St, www.annextheatre.org. 11 pm, $10. Through Dec 19.)

SUN
DEC 13, 2009
'The Maid' FILM
'The Maid'

An acidly funny black comedy from Chile, The Maid is about a live-in housekeeper for a wealthy Santiago family who becomes a raging passive-aggressive sociopath when her employers bring in extra help. What might have been a condescending social-issue drama about oppressed servants or a shrill send-up of the ruling class instead becomes a carefully etched character study: With her troll-like physique, lipless grimace, and frumpy curls, Catalina Saavedra's ferociously territorial cleaning lady is an indelible creation—pathetic and vindictive, but never entirely ridiculous. (See Movie Times: thestranger.com/film.)

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