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Aaaaghufuckerasswipe!

Syphon Filter Finally Comes to PlayStation 2

by Bradley Steinbacher

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Now available for PlayStation 2.

Syphon Filter: The Omega Strain is sure to inspire a spate of portmanteau-making on the part of its players. For my own, I created at least four words while fumbling my way through the game: sonavafuckinshit, goddamnassstupidbitch, aaaaghufuckerasswipe, and stupidpieceoffuckall. Each new word, shouted from the sofa to the television, was accompanied by a loud thunk! as the controller hit the floor. It was, in other words, an exceedingly frustrating experience--on par with the recent Ninja Gaiden, but without the enjoyment--and in hindsight I would have been wise to have just given up and moved on to safer pastures--a little of the trusty Halo, perhaps, or even ESPN Major League Baseball 2004.

But I didn't move on; picking up my bruised controller again and again, I kept trudging my way through the game, alternating between exasperation and outright rage. The result was a tragedy not just for me, but for gaming itself. I steered my character--an oddly deformed young lass named Esther--into various bloodbaths, sometimes barely eking through, often ending up in a crumpled pile. I fumbled with my weapons. I missed obvious targets. I felt like a novice with faulty hand-eye coordination, and though some of these blunders were surely my fault (note to self: grenades need not be dropped directly in front of you), the game's ridiculously cumbersome controls certainly didn't help matters.

The original Syphon Filter was released in 1999, just as PlayStation 1 was about to become obsolete. I have fond memories of that game; it was everything a decent game should be--challenging, lengthy, and though not entirely original, original enough. As Gabe Logan, a stiff trying to stop the release of a deadly virus, you steered your way third-person-style through a number of levels, from catacombs to a massive park to an embassy. Your enemies were often tucked beneath body armor, making headshots a challenging and necessary skill to acquire. There were elements of stealth--simple elements, but elements nonetheless--and the sheer size of the game made it a rather engrossing experience.

Syphon Filter: The Omega Strain carries over many of these ideas, complete with puffed-up graphics for the (now soon to be obsolete) PlayStation 2. So why is the game so underwhelming? An answer can surely be found in that classic Achilles' heel of video games: the controls. Much like last year's disastrous Tomb Raider: The Angel of Darkness, steering your character in The Omega Strain can be a painful experience, since there seem to be major faults with the game's physics. Your character glides unconvincingly, with movements seemingly in slow motion, and when you need, say, to open up a crate (where new weapons and ammo are kept), it can take four or five tries before you manage to maneuver your chump into the proper position--all the while, the game's villains are gunning you down. Add to this frustration enemies that re-spawn in the same place with an absurd frequency, unclear and unguided objectives, and excessively dark and gloomy graphics, and it can take dozens of tries to simply make your way through half a level.

All is not completely lost, however; The Omega Strain may be crappy to play for the most part, but there is some inventiveness in it. Online play is surprisingly fresh (for a PlayStation 2 game), bringing together up to four players at a time to work through the game's missions. And the ability to create your own character--picking gender, race, facial structure, and hair style, among others--is a nice touch, although every character turns out fairly ugly (thankfully, dusty old Gabe Logan still makes an appearance). But these highlights are undermined by the simple fact that Syphon Filter: The Omega Strain is rarely fun to play. It is complicated, to be sure (just try scrolling through your weapons), and it is long and suitably pretty to look at, but rarely do you feel a sense of enjoyment while you play it.

The Omega Strain, like the original Syphon Filter, is making its appearance rather late for its chosen system, and this time the game has been soundly trumped. Its trumper: EA's James Bond title, Everything or Nothing. Now that's what The Omega Strain should have been.