From the Jul 20 – Jul 26, 2000 issue

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Arts & Entertainment

BEST CASINO
The Silver Dollar Casino is a chip's toss from the deafening squeal of retractable landing gear, and offers a veritable smorgasbord of deep-fried frozen food and specialty drinks, including the spectacular "Red-Eye Flight" (rumored to include Kahlúa, espresso, and the blood of a Microsoft executive's virgin daughter). Mmmm! Make it a double! But be warned, the bitter card dealers at this whimsically beach-themed casino are forced to wear black tuxedo shirts splashed with garish, vaginal, Miami Vice-style flowers, so don't expect any sympathy when you lose the rent money playing the always hilarious "Fortune Pai Gow Poker!" The odds of breaking even are slim, so why not recoup your losses by giving a handjob in the parking lot to a lonely, defeated man who's in town for a canned-goods convention? He'll thank you for coming! 19222 Pacific Hwy S.

BEST NIGHT CLUB
When Seattle hipsters get dressed to go out in their Fluevog space shoes, filthy jeans, and pastel baby-Ts with treacly Japanimated child-prostitute appliqués, they think they look pretty hot. Well, they don't. They look ridiculous. Maybe they oughta take a lesson in fashion from the patrons of Maxi's on the top floor of the Doubletree Hotel, the new winner in the Best Nightclub category (beating out our previous longtime Best Nightclub winner, the Bull Pen). At Maxi's, grown men dress like grown men in double-breasted Nordstrom suits, French cuffs, silk ties, hand-ironed handkerchiefs, and shiny Italian shoes. Pretty ladies dress like pretty ladies in tight black no-back dresses, anklets with dangling charms, and towering stilettos. We're told John Travolta once stayed at the hotel: We like to imagine him taking the elevator all the way up to the Saturday Night Fever of SeaTac, where he danced the night away. Perhaps, like the guy in the elevator when our research team visited Maxi's, Travolta joked to the girl he picked up, "I hope you got a driver's license on you so I can find out your name in the morning!" 18740 Pacific Hwy S.

BEST STRIP CLUB
"Dude, she digs me. Shut the fuck up, she does! She did that first song in the mirror, but she was looking at me. The whole time we were making, like, serious eye contact...." How many times have you said that to your friends? Like most Best of SeaTac voters, you've probably said that more times than you'd care to admit! Among its numerous superlatives, the ever-popular Club Extasy boasts the closest all-nude couch dancing in the state. "There's a four-foot minimum in most cities," the bouncer told our research team, "but it's only six inches here. You got a girl's ass six inches from your face--it's pretty cool." This proximity is thanks to a forward-thinking SeaTac City Council, the same bouncer told us (city hall official Debra Peterson calls that claim "absolutely incorrect," and attributes the six-inch standard to "complimentary" local cops). Other attractions include Tuesday-night specials. "We got great things," said the bouncer. "Lady Lotto, beaver shave, cooter ball, wet T-shirt, the popsicle suck-off contest. It's a lot of fun." 16324 International Blvd.

BEST STRIPPER
Our Best of SeaTac Research Team stopped by Club Extasy to confirm reports that you, SeaTac Stranger readers and Best of SeaTac voters, were anointing Nadja at Club Extasy the best stripper in the whole city. We were told by Club Extasy management that there was a panties-at-all-times rule on the mainstage; only in the couch area could the panties come off. Then out came Nadja. She leaped upon the stage, grabbed the pole, and hoisted herself skyward, flaying her legs open as if to show her vagina to her creator, and then... she whipped off her panties completely. No wonder you voted her Best Stripper! With no panties to tuck a dollar bill into, we were forced to slip a few dollar coins into Nadja's "slot machine!" Yow! 16324 International Blvd.

BEST PLACE TO DRINK OUTSIDE AT NIGHT
SeaTacians in need of a relaxing and luxurious drinking spot--preferably bathed in moonlight--head for the vast gated confines of the Tyee Valley Golf Club. Here, lounging atop the sloping fairways or plush, manicured greens, you can kick back with a cool 40-ouncer and get totally shitfaced while jumbo jets roar overhead through the starry sky. A popular golf course by day and drinking spot by night, the Tyee Valley Golf Club is situated at the extreme southern end of the airport's busy runways, across from the Federal Detention Center. The best way to breach Tyee's barbed-wire barrier is to walk a quarter mile past the intersection of South 200th Street and 18th Avenue South--there you will find a section of squished-down fencing that you can easily, safely scale with a bottle in each hand. 2401 S 192nd St.

BEST PLACE TO BE STONED
For fun-seeking SeaTac potheads, there are many in-town enticements: Dunkin' Donuts, Lewis & Clark Cinemas, Butch's Gun Shop. But for the very best in hesher pleasure, smart SeaTacians head to the Sea-Tac International Airport, whose glamorous Satellite Transit System is a veritable Shangri-La for high-living hash heads! Simply stepping onto Sea-Tac's high-tech internal train seems to place one in another world, where luggage-toting folks of all races tear through space in a futuristic glidemobile to a soundtrack of Blade Runner-esque multi-lingual travel instructions. Never mind that the Asian language instructions are amped at thrice the volume of the others (frequently inducing violent, post traumatic stress-related rampages in Korean/Vietnam War veterans)--the Satellite Transit System is SeaTac's own Space Mountain. 17801 Pacific Hwy S.

BEST PLACE TO NOD OFF ON HEROIN
When searching for a happy haven for heroin use, SeaTacians once again need look no further than, yes, the Sea-Tac International Airport. The Meditation Room, nestled on the second floor of the airport mezzanine, is the perfect place for stumbling SeaTac junkies, as the room's carefully cultivated ambiance (soothing earth tones, non-denominational altar, multi-cultural tapestries) handily disguises the classic "junkie nod" as deep, inner soul-searching. 17801 Pacific Hwy S.

BEST PLACE TO DROP ACID
Every great city has its prime locale for indulging in the magic of hallucinogenics. Washington, D.C. has the Air & Space Museum, Chicago has the Planetarium, and New York has Cats at the Wintergarden Theatre. Glamorous SeaTac is no exception! When acid-dropping, 'shroom-eating, peyote-slurping SeaTacians need a safe yet exciting harbor to "trip out," they head for the waiting area near entrance A1-7 at the north end of Sea-Tac International Airport! With its firm but comfy chairs and soothingly dim lighting, this cozy little nook looks like pure corporate Martha Stewart--but the decorative murals are pure Timothy Leary! Facing right, SeaTac trippers can luxuriate in the comforting arts 'n' crafts psychedelia of Alden Mason's squiggle-paint masterwork, Noah on a 40-Year Cruise. Facing forward, brain-fryers are seduced by Francis Celatano's epic multicolored mindfuck, Spectrum Delta II. Both works are perfect companions on a psychedelic journey, and, stared at long and hard enough, reward viewers with the secrets of the universe. 17801 Pacific Hwy S.

BEST HOTEL POOL
SeaTac teens expect the best for their partying needs. That's why Tyee High Schoolers and recent graduates often pass up the seedier joints and head straight to the exotic Marriott Sea-Tac Airport Hotel pool. You can fit 74 of your friends in the pool at one time as long as you're out by 11 p.m. Plus, it's in a weather-controlled sanctuary surrounded by totem poles and plants. Sure, partying SeaTacians are adept at sneaking into any pool (developing a system where two people pay for a room, and then their friends show up for the blowout). The true test is trying to remember the room number when the hotel staff asks for it. "I think it's easy to sneak into pools at hotels and motels, as long as you have a key thingy," says 20-year-old Pule Fola, while cradling her adorable red-haired child in her lap. But the discriminating partier knows the Marriott pool is the best. "It's hella nice," says Fola. 3201 S 176th St.

BEST PLANE CRASH
Just outside Sea-Tac International Airport on April 15, 1988, the right wing of a Horizon Air airplane turned into a "big, reddish ball of flame" as the plane descended. The plane ultimately smashed into the main airport terminal, injuring the plane's passengers but thankfully missing airport commuters. This plane crash is SeaTac's "best" because it was a major spectacle that occurred without fatalities. Oh, readers also loved this one because two passengers survived after their seats were dramatically ejected from the airplane just outside the B-11 gate! 17801 Pacific Hwy S.

BEST ART GALLERY
Why schlep to Seattle or Bellevue when the Greater SeaTac Area's best art museum is free, right here in SeaTac, and open 24 hours a day? The next time you're at Sea-Tac International Airport, sip a fancy coffee and peruse the fabulous art collection that makes airport personnel, native SeaTacians, and local art critics swell with civic pride. After viewing the classy Chihulyesque regional art for sale in Northwest Passage, head up to the comfortably cool and silent mezzanine level, where you'll witness a continuation of Sea-Tac International's obsession with the "Children of Chihuly." Discover immaculate, softly lit display cases containing more blown glass sculptures! It's like a beautiful dream... all the smooth, bright glass lovingly manipulated into various abstract shapes. The crowning jewel of this world-class art gallery? Glass artist Pino Signoretto's homage to man's best friend, Scruffy (an adorable, strikingly realistic little terrier made out of black glass, resting its fragile, petite doggie bum on a satin cushion) not only appeals to young and old, it also adds a bit of international flavor to this SeaTacian art collection. That's right, art lovers--Signoretto hails from Murano, Italy! Eat your heart out, Seattle Art Museum! 17801 Pacific Hwy S.