From the Sep 26 – Oct 2, 2002 issue

Pullout

Be A Drop Out

Who Says Quitters Never Win?

by Sean Nelson

Where I come from, the idea of dropping out of college is like volunteering for homelessness.

Like many of you, I had it drilled into my skull from a very early age that a university degree was the only hope a person had of succeeding in the world. Without it, the best you could look forward to was ditch-digging, dissolution, and despair. I believed this when I applied to a half-dozen colleges. I believed it when I got into every college I applied to. I believed it all summer before I went off to college. And you can bet your sweet life that I believed it when I dropped out of college for the first time. I may have even believed it when I dropped out of college for the second time.

Truth to tell, some small part of me may still believe it. But the rest of me understands that it's a hoary myth, a lie we tell young people because we need to believe there is a formula for succeeding in life. There isn't--because success is not a high-paying job, nor a house, nor a family, nor a car, nor a diploma, nor fame, nor wealth. Success is the rare gift of living the way you want to live. That doesn't mean living without sacrifice or compromise; it means living without so much sacrifice and compromise that you become incapable of joy. You know, like your parents.

College is not for everyone, as you will soon learn. Many of you are probably already considering quitting. Usually that's because you're not used to being challenged. Sometimes, though, it's because the specific challenges of academic life feel less worthy of your time and energy than other things.

I know you didn't ask, but my advice is: Go ahead and quit. If you miss it, you'll go back. If you don't miss it, you'll be sparing yourself anywhere from one month to 10 years of miserable self-loathing, poisonous cynicism, and misguided finger-pointing. Your parents will be angry--or the classic "not so much angry as disappointed." Those of you still being supported by mom and dad may even get cut off.

But listen. Being cut off from parental support is the best thing that can ever happen to you. The thought of it is terrifying enough to keep you in line for the moment, but as these next few months become these next few years, you may begin to feel yourself growing resentful of their attempts to control you. Just remember one thing: You will sound ridiculous complaining about that until you learn how to pay your own way. Money is the number one tool employed by parents in the service of not letting you go (guilt is a neck-and-neck second). Once it stops being a factor, their power to control you becomes only as strong as your desire to be controlled.

My life prior to dropping out of school was sheltered enough that I was actually surprised to discover that there were people my age (18)--and older, and younger--supporting themselves by working at shitty minimum-wage jobs and living close to the bone. A bigger surprise was that there were many more of them than there were people like me. An even bigger surprise: They were happy. They were rightfully proud of their independence and self-determination. Seattle was then and is now a place where it's possible to be young and poor with a modicum of dignity and a big helping of community. Being poor sucks, but it's often better than living for your parents. It's also an experience everyone should have, at least for a while.

College is not for everyone. Neither is dropping out. Many people thrive in academic situations and have happy, healthy, loving relationships with their folks. And then you have the rest of us, for whom self-reliance and real-world durability are more valuable than any Stendhal seminar will ever be. You can always read Stendhal. Dropping out can be the key to earning confidence, gaining respect from your parents, and ultimately, building a life of your own. That doesn't mean you won't regret it. It just means you don't have to.

10 Things You Will Learn When You Drop Out of College:

1) How to pay rent and bills.

2) What happens when you don't do one or both of those things.

3) How much food costs.

4) What a financial burden on your parents you actually were.

5) How easy it is to take care of yourself.

6) How easy it is to let things slide so much that you can't take care of yourself.

7) How satisfying it is to rescue yourself from situation #6.

8) Never to put the phone or utility bills of a group house in your name.

9) There's virtually nothing you can learn in college that you can't learn on your own.

10) The inverse of #9 is simply not true.

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Comments (25) RSS

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1
Ha. Right now i'm sitting at my dorm and i'm supposed to be reading something I don't want to read and write about it...and then get up early and TALK about it. Your flawless argument might just might have been the inevitable push...
Posted by karis Naher on September 9, 2008 at 5:19 PM · Report
2
that's oddly enough exactly what i needed to hear. i'm currently sitting in the library of some scuzzy community college. i'm supposed to be in calc class, but i'm wondering how much good that would do me as i would most likely sleep through it anyway.
Posted by dahve on September 22, 2008 at 7:39 AM · Report
3
I already support myself through college. I pay for it myself and I already work that shitty (though not minimum wage) job. And I think, bear with me while I get a little melodramatic here, I think college is killing me. I have an ulcer and I have to take anti-depressants now. I was so happy before college, I was even happy my first year here. Now I'm in my final year, miserable, in massive student loan debt, and still no closer to knowing what I want to do with my life. Is college really worth the time and the debt? I'm not sure... and furthermore, I'm not sure I want to stick around and find out.
Posted by Confused College Student on September 25, 2008 at 11:42 AM · Report
4
i bought a 1-way plane ticket to Maui on the 14th and i still have to drop out, tell my parents, and make it there...at least i got a job and place thanks to a good, good buddy that already made the leap. i honestly believe its all about doing what makes you happy. my school got f...ed up from hurricane Ike so we missed about 4 weeks already. my gf of 2 yrs broke up and moved out, and my other roomy bailed on me to go with his gf all within the last 2 months. so here i am, only moved half my shit out or my apt when i'm supposed to be out 2 days ago, and i cant wait to get the hell outta texas right now... im just glad i already made the choice long ago... i just have to figure out how to tell the rents...
Posted by steven on October 3, 2008 at 12:29 AM · Report
5
I dropped out of community college (which intentions to go back when I figure out what I'm there for)and moved out of my parents house in NJ to lovely Seattle just a month or two ago. I'm broke, don't have 458987 posessions anymore, don't have the luxury of not working and still having shelter, and I have to go grocery shopping all the time. But I don't have to kiss anyones ass (aside from my boss, but that's everywhere), and I'm happy as a clam and proving to myself that I'm independent after all. I began to doubt I could ever be after 22 years in the parents' house. Drop life and go somewhere, and make new life there. Just for the experience. You can more than likely go back if you fuck up that bad on your own.
Posted by njmike on October 4, 2008 at 9:30 PM · Report
6
dude, you have convinced me to leave. I hate college so far. It has only been two weeks, but it really is not for me.
Posted by KM on October 9, 2008 at 8:51 PM · Report
7
wow. i feel a lot better. ive been in community college for 1 1/2 years and i recently have not been going to class becauase i didnt feel like it was worth it. ive been thinking about trying something new and this story was what i may have needed to actually do what ive been wanting to do!
Posted by A.H. on October 11, 2008 at 2:31 PM · Report
8 Comment Pulled
9
im currently in my dorm room and and i have a 4 page draft due at 3 45 and its 1:03, i have a page and a sentence od bullshit because i really hate essays and i hate school in general and i really want to live my life and relax and spend time with my family meaning mom dad brother and sister. but i seriously think about how i might go crazy here and grow white hair with this work, even though its suppose to be the easiest year freshmen year. i dont know wat to do
i really dont
ive cried
ive been mad
ive pretended to be happy
ive tried to force myself to do the work
and to tell you the truth im just realllly reallly tired
Posted by syracuse u. on October 15, 2008 at 10:01 AM · Report
10
THAT'S REAL.THANK YOU SO MUCH I DROPPED OUT TODAY AND READING THIS MADE ME FEEL WAY BETTER. FUCK COLLEGE!
Posted by MANNY on October 17, 2008 at 11:19 AM · Report
11
I just cried to my mom about wanting to drop out of college. She called my sister and we decided that I shouldn't attend class today and just wait to see how I feel when my head has cleared up. I've already made my decision and im definitely out of school until next semester.
Posted by Winery on October 20, 2008 at 3:59 AM · Report
12
I'm a high school senior. I'm all schooled out. I'm counting the days. All I hear is college this, college that. The more people tell me I need to go to college to make it - the more I want to prove them wrong.
Posted by Bri on October 22, 2008 at 1:54 PM · Report
13
college is the shit, I have never been happier. When I leave for breaks, I usually feel a bit burned out because I push myself hard and then after a few weeks I yearn to go back again to the people and the classes and the sense of community. it's been the best thing to ever happen to me.
Posted by sg on October 22, 2008 at 4:32 PM · Report
14
Wow, what a bunch of pathetic whiners.

If you really don't want a college degree, don't go I guess, but don't come complaining to the rest of society that you "can't make ends meet","can't afford rent", and "can't afford to buy a house" with your shitty retail-job salary.

That's all on you, not on the Mayor, the Governor, the President or anybody else.
Posted by nebula38 on October 25, 2008 at 11:25 AM · Report
15
The old zen masters would often say that inner peace is 'happiness.' I agree. They also add that the phrase 'inner peace' in old cantonese translates as: 'the ability to cry on command while simultaneously giving everyone else in the world the finger.'
True story, word is bond.
Posted by sasha on October 26, 2008 at 1:57 PM · Report
16
When I graduated from high school, I moved out and abstained from college for two years while supporting myself. I am now at the UW, five years later, still self-supporting but earning my bachelors degree. So, I understand the value of not going to college, but I definitely would NOT drop out just because not going to college teaches you life skills. That's stupid. It's also stupid to suggest that you can be successful without a college degree. That's true only for a small number of people, and it's unfair to suggest that a kid should bank on it.

So the main gist here is that there are not just two options: going to school or not going to school and working. I would say do the BEST of both worlds. Support yourself and go to college at the same time. You'll be fucking poor as hell, but you'll be getting smart. Awesomeness.
Posted by Julian on October 29, 2008 at 7:02 AM · Report
17
My father dropped out in elementary school. At 18 he came to the U.S. He is now a very successful man. I am, personally, up the ass with college. If you have your mind set on your goals. Actually plan a future..and actually GO THROUGH with what you have to do to get things done then things might go good for you. Is college a guarantee of happiness or success? NO SIR. Just like nothing in life is guaranteed. Good little post. I made my mind to drop out in October and you can bet your ass I'm going through with it. AND you can bet your ass this man Is not working in damn retail. Good luck fellow drop outs.
Posted by Luis Flores on December 1, 2008 at 9:51 AM · Report
18
thankyou, that sounds exactly like what i tell myself everyday, but to know that someone else has the same idea gives me nothing but relief and peace of mind.
Posted by blinkfup on December 11, 2008 at 3:06 PM · Report
19
Well Sean Nelson dropped out of college, but he also became an idiot. He doesn't know how to write, and his argument is based on personal experience. We are talking about his personal experience, not mine, and not yours.
I am surprised that the only people to comment on this article are the people who agreed with him.
I have found university a satisfying and mind opening experience. Now in third year and getting Cs and Bs, I am not quitting even if I failed a few courses.
Don't let Sean Nelson drag you down. Sure student life sucks sometimes, especially if you're poor. You're spending time writing term papers and reading books. Your other friends your age are working nice working class jobs and have money for cars, beer, and nice apartments. You may not have financial independence from your parents, they may tug your leash and dangle carrots in front of you. But education is the key to good jobs, and class mobility. An education allows you to work a better job. A degree is a status symbol that no car or house can replace. Stop moaning about the tough student life, and get back to studying for your exams, and writing essays. A degree can mean the difference between foreman and factory manager, produce manager and store manager, babysitter and teacher, soldier and officer, bartender and restaurant manager.
Posted by Undergraduate on December 11, 2008 at 10:00 PM · Report
20
I'm telling my parents today. Right now I'm like 20 minutes early to class and waiting for everyone, just thinking about how great it would be to be out of here and supporting myself. I've been thinking about dropping out for months now, and I think I'm going to stop wasting my money here and begin my life as an independant individual.
Posted by Heather on February 12, 2009 at 10:39 AM · Report
21
what an inspirational essay. I do admit that being on my own, without backup money, is my greatest fear of dropping out, then consequently being abandoned by my parent's wallet. But independence is something I need to pursue and get over my fears. I've been attending for 3 years, and have been contemplating leave since my sophomore year. I've only stayed this far because of my free tuition.
Posted by Sachie on February 15, 2009 at 11:35 AM · Report
22
Wake up...what do you think it's like taking care of yourself? Life is work! Work is life. No one ever said it was easy.
Posted by karen on February 22, 2009 at 10:22 AM · Report
23
Im sitting here in Ireland, doing a college course my parents pressured me into. Ive no intrest in the fucking thing. I think Im going to tell them tomorrow that Im done with it...
Posted by luke on March 25, 2009 at 7:14 PM · Report
24
This article is really enticing. I've dreamt of dropping out of this shit since the first few months went by and I realized I couldn't both succeed in my major and have a life at the same time. I'd obviously rather be out of school, independent from the support of my parents and living my own life doing my own things freely. I hate the chains. They’re depressing, but I’m going to live with them anyway.

The whole idea of whether to drop out of college or not is of course very complex, but it's important if you're considering it to remember that college is an investment -- it will take away from your life while you're there, but it can greatly benefit your life once you finish. Your life might be a lot better right now if you sever chains and drop out of school, but is it better to enjoy these few years more or to wait a few years to enjoy your freedom so that you can do it with a bright and shining degree?

Remember that there is little of value that you could have right now by dropping out that you won't be able to have after you finish college except for what you give to college (i.e. four years and a ton of money). The question of whether to drop out right now or not should depend on whether or not you will gain from college in the end. Once again, are the returns greater than the investment? Will you be wasting four years of your life and a load of financial stress, or will you sacrifice those four years and that stress for a better future?

As for me, I’m staying in college. The majority of it sucks (the rest is a blast, by the way), but I’m waiting in anticipation for that enhanced freedom and joy that I want to have when I get out of here doing something that I find exciting and getting paid plenty for it too. I just hope that I won’t end up chained to a monotonous life by my degree.

All this should be taken with a grain of salt. I haven’t graduated yet. I’m speaking of a future foreseen and a path-not-taken through wisdom that was mostly passed down.
More...
Posted by mmm on October 28, 2009 at 11:05 PM · Report
25
I'm pretty fucking terrified of dropping out but its either drop out or literally kill myself.
Posted by there has to be more than this on November 18, 2009 at 9:07 AM · Report

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