So, have you ever waited on any famous people?

"Yes. Ron Reagan Jr. and the lead singer of Queensrÿche."

Were they together?

"Oh, and I refilled the water glass of the fortune-telling, um, short-statured lady from Poltergeist. She said, 'Thank you!' in that very same voice, just like in the movie, tiny, sweet, and raspy. And, no--they were not all together. I think Ron Reagan Jr. lives around here...."

Did you instantly recognize him?

"No. Somebody had to point him out to me. But I knew that guy from Queensrÿche was somebody buttrock right away. It was a really busy lunch--sunny, lots of people blowing off work, drinking champagne with raspberry purée, and he gets the worst seat in the place."

What do you like most about working at the Pink Door?

"Besides the food? The nightly entertainment, like tarot readings, old men playing accordion--[that] keeps things exciting. Do you know Tom, who works down in the Market, doing balloon art?"

No, I don't get out much.

"Tom is the Balloon Genius. He's a regular. He comes in here Tuesday nights, has a few glasses of wine, and gets going on these incredible balloon sculptures. One time we asked him if he could do some Chihuly-type balloon décor, and in one evening, he had the place covered in these astounding masterpieces of imitation and physics--balloons within balloons all twisted and tweaked to look like weird Chihuly glass hanging from the chandeliers, the mirrors, everywhere. Better than Chihuly. More elastic. Unfortunately, unlike glass-blowing, there isn't much money in balloon art in this town."

Do you get nervous when uncorking champagne at a table?

"No. I know the trick."

The one with the napkin?

"Well, yes, a napkin, like a seatbelt, helps. But, to keep the whole affair under control, you slowly turn the bottle instead of the cork."

Oooh. I wish I would have known that the last time I--

"--aw, champagne corks aren't that dangerous."

You haven't seen my friend's eye patch.

Interview by Rachel Kessler