a. November, 2000
b. At your precinct caucus
c. During American Idol
d. At your spring share holder's meeting
(2) You find out your sweetie voted for George Bush in 2000. You:
a. Dump 'em.
b. Immediately enter couples counseling.
c. Feign outrage in front of your friends, but behind closed doors it just makes the sex hotter.
d. Beam with pride. Your sweetie always does what you say.
(3) On November 7, 2000, you voted for:
a. Um, I don't vote.
b. George W. Bush
c. Al Gore
d. Ralph Nader. Why do you ask!?!
e. I was in Florida then, so who knows?
If you answered B, go to question 4 . If you answered D, stop taking this quiz now and go work for the Kerry campaign immediately as PENANCE. If you answered A, C, or E--skip to question 5.
(4) Do you regret your Bush vote?
a. No
b. Yes. I'd like to marry whomever I choose.
If you answered B, continue with the quiz. If you answered A, you're done. You're obviously a Bush devotee. So hook up with his campaign. (We're not sure how to get in touch with his camp, though. Try dialing 1-800-I'M-A-FOOL.)
(5) When people ask you for spare change, you:
a. Kick them in the head.
b. Give them whatever you've got, including what's left of your morning muffin.
c. Ask them to sign your initiative petition first.
d. Say sorry. (You're saving it for Coinstar.)
(6) You have trouble falling asleep at night because:
a. Rent is due.
b. You just got in a huge fight with your honey about where the hell you two are going.
c. What if Bush wins?
(7) You need to get downtown. You...
a. Hop on a bus.
b. Hop on your skateboard.
c. Why leave Fremont?
d. Fire up your 2004 Hummer H2, tune in Rush Limbaugh, and crank up Ted Nugent on SACD.
e. Write a furious letter to city council to build the fucking monorail already.
(8) You get your news from
a. KING 5 at 11
b. NPR
c. A cocktail of Howard Stern and The Daily Show
d. Fahrenheit 9/11
(9) Fill in the blank: ______ is sexy!
a. That drummer
b. Campaign finance reform
c. A cat fight between Lynndie England and Jessica Lynch
d. The Department of Peace
(10) I think ______ should be the VP!
a. Dick Cheney
b. John Edwards
c. Oprah w/Michael Moore in the wings as Sec. of State
d. John Kerry
Tally your score:
(1) a-4, b-5, c-2, d-1
(2) a-5, b-3, c-2, d-1
(3) a-3, b-1, c-5, e-4
(4) b-1
(5) a-1, b-5, c-4, d-3
(6) a-3, b-1, c-5
(7) a-4, b-3, c-2, d-1, e-5
(8) a-1, b-4, c-5, d-3
(9) a-3, b-5, c-1, d-2
(10) a-1, b-5, c-3, d-4
Join your campaign:
(1) SCORE: 16 or less You're a Republican. Try Rossi for Governor (425-646-7202).
(2) SCORE: 17-22 You're a radical lefty. Call Not in Our Name Seattle (206-322-3813), which is sending people to New York City to protest at the Republican National Convention, or activist outfits like the Backbone Campaign (206-463-4784), or performance troupe Billionaires for Bush (206-322-1517).
(3) SCORE: 23-30 You're more rock 'n' roll than political. Check out Music for America (www.musicforamerica.org), No Vote Left Behind (novote leftbehind@msn.com), Bands Against Bush (babseattle@ bandsagainstbush.org), or Punk Voter (info@punkvoter.com).
(4) SCORE: 31-35 You should be out registering voters. Citizen Action (206-389-0050) is committed to getting 60,000 people registered this year. For the more adventurous, Driving Votes (www.drivingvotes.org) is coordinating road trips to swing states to register voters.
(5) SCORE: 36+ You're destined to be a lifelong D. But in order to hook you up with the right campaign, we have one more question for you:
When was the last time you got laid?
a. Last weekend
b. A month ago
c. 2003
d. When George H. W. Bush was president
e. None of your damn business
(A) John Kerry (206-281-9124) or Ron Sims (206-624-1152)
(B) Patty Murray (206-286-9199) or Alex Alben (425-454-3100)
(C) Dave Ross (info@dave ross2004.com) or Deborah Senn (206-568-3310)
(D) Mark Sidran (206-217-2004)
(E) Christine Gregoire (206-328-2969)
