WEDNESDAY 4/10

Northwest Cannabis Market

Seattle's only regular cannabis farmers' market is located in White Center and open every Wednesday to Sunday. Featuring the harvests—smokable, edible, what-have-you—of dozens of local farmers and vendors, the NWCM is free and open to all authorized Washington State medical marijuana patients. (If you find yourself in White Center with the munchies, proceed immediately to Zippy's Giant Burgers, then to Full Tilt Ice Cream, then jog home.) As of February, they also have a storefront on Rainier Avenue at College Street, open seven days a week. Northwest Cannabis Market, 9640 16th Ave SW, nwcannabismarket.com, Wed–Sun 11 am–7 pm.

FRIDAY 4/19

Aroma of Tacoma Cup Awards Party

It's a competitive expo of the Northwest's finest medical marijuana products. Categories include Best Edible, Best Topical, and Best Beverage. This year, you must contact the organizers directly in order to be a judge and participate in the Collective Crawl, but the awards party is open to all Washington medical marijuana patients and has a lounge/hash bar, live hiphop and reggae, and samples galore. LTD Warehouse, 217 E 25th St, Tacoma, 253-761-7806, 4:20 pm–midnight, $40.

SATURDAY 4/20

Second Annual Dope Cup

Seattle's largest 4/20 party will determine once and for all (or until next year) WHICH STRAIN REIGNS SUPREME—and which ones win Highest THC, Highest CBD, and People's Choice. Anyone 21 and older may enjoy the beer garden, food trucks, acrobats, glassblowing, and live DJs, but only those with original, authorized Washington medical marijuana papers can buy a judge's pass or make full use of the vape lounge, vendors, and flower room. 7 Point Studios, 1300 S Dearborn St, dopemagazineonline.com, 7 pm, $35 general admission/$100 for judge's pass, 21+.

SUNDAY 4/21

Cannabis Farmers' Market Tacoma

Stroll among the harvests of the Northwest's best pot farmers at the Cannabis Farmers' Market, which is free and open to all legal Washington State medical marijuana patients. In addition to show-offy bud, CFM also features free samples, a patient lounge, and a DJ spinning wellness-enhancing tunes. Cannabis Farmers' Markets/Sacred Plant Medicine Offices, 1912 Center St, Tacoma, cannabisfarmersmarkets.com, first and third Sundays 11 am–5 pm.

THURSDAY 4/25

Dining Out for Life

Fact one: Medical marijuana makes an incalculable difference in the lives of many people living with HIV/AIDS. Fact two: Stoners love to eat. Celebrate both of these facts by Dining Out for Life, on the one day when more than 150 restaurants donate a portion of their sales to the fight against illness and hunger in those with HIV and AIDS. See participating restaurants at diningoutforlife.com/seattle.

THURSDAY 5/2

SMOKED!

Food and theater—two great tastes that benefit greatly from active cannabinoids in the system—come together at Cafe Nordo, the meta­theatrical restaurateurs who first came onto the scene in 2009 with their fictional chef Nordo Lefesczki and his prix-fixe performance The Modern American Chicken. Their newest show, SMOKED!, has a spaghetti-western theme. Cafe Nordo, the Kitchen by Delicatus, 103 First Ave S, cafenordo.com, through June 16.

SUNDAY 5/5

Seattle Chocolate Salon

So. Much. Chocolate. Tastings of it, talks about it, demonstrations of its supernatural powers. Bell Harbor International Conference Center, 2211 Alaskan Way, Pier 66, seattlechocolatesalon.com, 11 am–5 pm, $20/$10 children 6–12/free for children under 6.

Mobile Food Rodeo

A ridiculous number of food trucks gather in a Fremont parking lot. Whatever you're jonesing for, it's here. Burke Building Parking Lot, 3401 Evanston Ave N, 10 am–7 pm.

WED–THURS 5/8–9

Bob's Burgers Live

Replicate the experience of watching Bob's Burgers stoned in your living room at the state-of-the-art Neptune Theater, where the stars of the great animated TV series about a family-run burger shop will perform segments from the show, for two nights only, May 8 and 9. Featuring H. Jon Benjamin, Eugene Mirman, Kristen Schaal, Dan Mintz, and John Roberts. Neptune Theater, 1303 NE 45th St, stgpresents.org, 8 pm, $25.

SATURDAY 5/11

Cannabis Freedom March 2013

This year, the annual Freedom March doubles as a celebration, "showing the rest of the world how we do it in the Evergreen State." The rally begins in Volunteer Park with live music and speeches, and then proceeds down to Westlake Park for more live music and speeches. Rally at Volunteer Park, 1247 15th Ave E, 11 am, march at 1 pm, rally at Westlake till 5 pm.

THURS–SAT 5/16–18

Les Ballets Trockadero

This all-male dance company performs gender-queering ballet and modern dance, poking fun at ballet's stiff, traditional hierarchy and "achieving high comedy by incorporating and exaggerating the foibles, accidents, and underlying incongruities of serious dance," according to the website. Meany Hall, UW Campus, uwworldseries.org, 8 pm, $51–$55.

WEDNESDAY 5/22

Paul Laffoley: Premonitions of the Bauharoque

Paul Laffoley makes layered, mandala-like paintings but also throws out big ideas. He attended Brown and Harvard and worked with Andy Warhol and on the World Trade Center. His best-known piece, THE KALI-YUGA: THE END OF THE UNIVERSE AT 424826 A.D. (The Cosmos Falls into the Chaos as the Shakti Oroboros Leads to the Elimination of All Value Systems by Spectrum Analysis), looks like the love child of the board game Sorry and a Pokémon card. This exhibition samples his output from 1965 to today. Henry Art Gallery, 4100 15th Ave NE, henryart.org, 11 am–4 pm, through Sept 29.

FRI–SUN 8/16–18

Seattle Hempfest

Three full days of bands, crowds, food, and the smell of burning rope. (Bonus if we're lucky: that sweet hippie who stands in the same place every year selling mushroom fudge.) Myrtle Edwards Park, 3130 Alaskan Way, hempfest.org, $10 suggested donation.

Contrary to potheadular belief, not everything should be done while high on marijuana, including (but not limited to) driving, babysitting, voting, investing, performing surgery, and shopping at Costco.