Taxi drivers keep hitting on me. TAXI DRIVERS! Isn't that some freaky crap? Calling/hailing/riding in a cab is by far the most glamorously urbane thing on the planet, so I, of course, cab everywhere: shopping, lunch, the mailbox. But just recently my regular, trusty old cabbies, Abu, Jamal, and Warner (sue me, I suck at names) have been replaced by winking, leering sacks of man-lust. Verbatim recent conversation with a grabby cabbie: "Here's my card, man. Call me. [Leer, leer.] I ALWAYS work on the Hill... LATE [wink, wink]."

I'm not complaining. I'm just wondering... has this been happening to anyone else?

I think that even the cynical among us have always known that it was only a matter of time. Below we have a person who claims to have borne witness to the arrival of none other than a man called... Jesus Christ. The Gospel:

"I saw Jesus (don't laugh!) last Friday, talking to a homeless-looking Sikh in a blue turban, a guitar-playing 'ex-junkie-now-hippie' type of guy, and that goth girl who's always at those Hindu-tech pop shows. He was smiling at something I couldn't see, and kept pinching his nipples and winking at me."

Repent. Quick.

Gay, gay Sir Ian McKellen is coming to Seattle on September 22 to walk the 5K at the AIDS Walk and Fun Run at Seattle Center. (For the record... I seriously question the wisdom and taste of putting AIDS and FUN in the same sentence.) He's coming down from Vancouver the day before to publicize the event. What? You didn't know Gandalf was a knob gobbler?

Repent. Quick.

"Gem" was minding her own damn business in the International District last week when the filthy-mouthed, sex-obsessed T-Man of the nationally syndicated T-Man in the Morning show stopped and asked her where he could find a Chinese restaurant. "I was like, 'DUH. You're in the International District!'" Duuuhh!

Since everyone has already heard about the soulless fiends who auctioned off Kurt Cobain's troubled, troubled childhood home on eBay (sick!), I won't mention it again. But while we're not talking celebrity real estate, a little whisper in my ear insists that J.Lo has been house-hunting on Queen Anne! She showed particular interest in a three-story, four-bedroom behemoth of crappy contemporary architecture that's going for a cool meelion dollars. She hasn't bought the place yet, but I hope she does, because Jennifer Lopez if far more fun to write about than horny cab drivers.

adrian@thestranger.com