In this perplexing waiting room we sometimes call existence, it is perhaps salubrious, even comforting, to imagine that, yes, it was indeed the one-and-only artist (debatable) formerly known as Huey Lewis who was seen enjoying the recent-ish Patty Griffin concert downtown. But since, considering the almost impossible wrinkliness of Mr. Lewis even way, way, way back when he and his so-called News were collectively searching for a new drug (Botox, perhaps?), one might naturally suspect that by now he has shriveled away to an unrecognizable raisin, rendering both such cavalier concert-going and the prospect of being recognized at all rather unlikely. Couple this, if you will, with the possible fact that "It sure looked like him" is the most concrete testimony to his ostensible presence that's currently available, and it becomes clear that the issue cannot be resolved with any satisfaction at this juncture. Pass the word.

And who the fuck is Patty Griffin anyway? I ask you.

If you have been overcome with the strange and unearthly feeling that George Clooney is watching you, you might not be as crazy as you think you are. For it is now believed that Mr. Clooney is the mysterious star who has allegedly been lingering in the general vicinity of Belltown, ostensibly here to purchase art from a private downtown dealer. (Apparently London, where he usually lives, has run out. Of art.) There is also something about an easily identifiable British flag hanging in his temporary Belltown window and somebody paying "top dollar" for something. I must say no more.

"Hi Adrian, I saw Kato Kaelin at Deja Vu. Upon entering, he promptly vanished into a private room. I was amazed that his hair has not changed since, like, well... ever. (I was there with a bachelor party--my first strip-club experience.) Hope that's interesting."--Michael

Dear Michael--This is my first strip-club experience too! Thanks for writing. Vote Oprah.

They say that Mr. and possibly Mrs. Eddie Vedder might have birthed little baby girl Vedder on June 11, but far be it from me to embroil myself in issues breederish.

Lastly: Courtney Love is reportedly hawking "What Would Courtney Do?" T-shirts online for $15 a pop to save her fiscally ailing website (the URL escapes me). As most of us are fully aware of exactly what Courtney would do under most circumstances, I counter-encourage the world to send me $15 for something or other bearing my now-famous phrase, "Courtney Love--Washington's Other Mad Cow," with proceeds going toward absolutely nothing Courtney-related. Except drugs maybe. Swear to God.

adrain@thestranger.com