My week started with an e-mail from pop icon/Village Voice gossipmonger Michael Musto, commenting on the Twin Tower attacks: "We'll muddle through, Adrian, with a sense of community and maybe some off-Broadway theater." Now that's the right attitude! We've gotta get this train moving again. So! Let's pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and get back to doing what spoiled, jaded American hipsters should do in the face of bloodthirsty Islamic jihads: inflate our impoverished self-esteem by nosing into the lives of the rich and famous. It's the patriotic thing to do!Darling Dave chickens out: There seems to be no end to the conscientious sensitivity of brand-new daddy/local legend Dave Matthews. Dave decided that it would be far too gauche to release his ill-timed, ill-named "When the World Ends" as the DMB's next radio single, so he asked programmers to play the safe title track from the band's latest album, Everyday, instead. Sigh. I could just SMOTHER that angel in big, sloppy kisses! Move over Ashley Matthews--I'm having Dave's next baby! (Catfight! Catfight! Reeeeeowwwer!)

Art and Architecture, Current Affairs, and Biographies... oh, my! Isn't screaming beefcake Henry Rollins the high-minded Renaissance man? Two celebrity stalkers stealthily trailed hot Henry from the downtown Gap to the Pacific Place Barnes & Noble, where he indulged his high-minded intellect in all of the aforementioned pursuits (they followed him through the stacks and made notes!). The stalkers were tempted to rush the star, screaming and tearing their hair out in uncontrolled sexual adulation, but Henry looked far too "angry and mean" to approach. Which is, of course, all of his charm. Of course it tears me up inside that THE Henry Rollins would stoop to shop at anywhere as odiously common as the Gap, but the stalkers assure me that Henry's world-class ass looked "sweet" in those khakis. So I'll let it slide. This time.

Gads of local and pseudo-local notables from Courtney Love (who STILL hasn't paid her late fees for Sid and Nancy at Broadway Video) to Sandra Bullock (who still owns one of the garish new high-rise apartments on First Ave) to long-suffering Macaulay Culkin (who's still paying rent on his Pioneer Square loft, even though he's currently doing a play in London) signed on for benefit shows or donated HUGE amounts of money to aid various relief-effort organizations (Sandra dropped a cool million bucks). It makes me proud to live in a city that rents to people of such generosity and spirit.

celebisawu@thestranger.com