What does it take to become a wedding-cake delivery driver, besides balls of steel?
I don't really know. I got this job because my uncle was Borracchini's wedding-cake delivery driver 20 years ago. It's my first job ever.
How many times have you screwed up and ruined someone's wedding?
Only once, during my first week. I was driving three wedding cakes out and the car in front of me slowed down really fast, so I had to tap my breaks and the cakes kind of mooshed together. But we were able to repair them in time; the damage was all superficial.
Divorce parties are becoming common—have you ever delivered a divorce cake?
Not knowingly. I delivered a black-and-red cake to a gothic wedding, and a traditional cake to a rock 'n' roll wedding, but that's about it. I guess the closest thing to a divorce cake is when someone cancels their order at the last moment.
Do you ever get to take home canceled wedding cakes as snacks?
No, we cut them up and use them as customer samples. I do get to keep the Styrofoam display cakes, though.
What do you do with Styrofoam display cakes?
My friends and I make episodic comedies about the misadventures of assassins on YouTube. We're called "Cleaners." The first episode of our second season will feature a Styrofoam Borracchini's wedding cake.
