Go Watch Geoff Tate Make Jokes You Wish You'd Thought Of
This Geoff Tate is sadly not the lead vocalist for Queensrÿche, nor does he have his own line of goth-rock Walla Walla wines. This Geoff Tate tells jokes about picking up women in grocery stores: "You like cereal or what? GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER." He's relaxed, adorable, and his observational humor—for instance, calling a couple who put back groceries, item by item, to slip under their credit limit "Walmart's version of Sophie's Choice"—is fresh and intelligent. Laughs Comedy Spot, Thurs 8:30 pm, Fri–Sat 8 and 10 pm, $15, early shows 18+/late shows 21+.
Alternately, for three nights you can watch Pauly "The Weasel" Shore weep onstage in Bellevue for 90 minutes straight. Or save yourself $20, get stoned, and watch Bio-Dome on your couch. Parlor Live, Thurs 7:30 pm, Fri–Sat 7:30 and 10 pm, $20–$35, 21+.
LAUGH LOVERS BALL
Laugh Lovers Ball features five nationally touring comedians' 20-minute love-themed sets. This year we've got the "sophisticated silliness" of This American Life contributor Jackie Kashian (who also hosts a genuinely funny podcast called Dork Forest); Henry Phillips, who's known for writing comical songs about relationships and whatnot (example: "She's talking again, I need a cigarette/She's talking again, I wish we never met/She's talking again, she's like a TV set/She's talking and talking and talking and talking and talking..."); plus Ryan Hamilton, whose lips were seemingly built for blowjobs; the Alien Warrior Comedian—a gimmick I pray can sustain itself for a 20-minute set; and comedian David Crowe, who is moderately famous for doing a striking imitation of Gollum from The Lord of the Rings. Moore Theatre, 6 and 8:30 pm, $26–$48, all ages.