This week, Laff Hole, Seattle's most reliable, self-replenishing, bimonthly hole in which to discover good comics, is trying something a little different: a showcase of 20 local comedians performing five-minute sets. Essentially, it's an orchestrated open mic, explains producer Tristan Devin. "We're trying to make it feel less formal, so people who maybe haven't been to a comedy show in a while—or ever—won't feel like they're committing to two hours of agony, if that's their worst fear," Devin says. "This will be more fun and forgiving, with people encouraged to come and go as they please." It also means that while you might recognize some of the names onstage—Corbett Cummins, Elicia Sanchez, Danielle Radford—it's also a chance to see new, pink-eared comics who've only been at it for a few months, Devin says. (And again, if they're terrible, they're only terrible for five minutes at a time! That's quicker and less painful than getting the old growth on my nethers waxed!) Chop Suey, 8:30 pm, $10, 21+.

And if you're too cheap for comedy and/or booked on Wednesday, there's a homeless man wandering around Fremont and downtown Seattle that will tell you an hour's worth of terrible jokes for only $1. Examples:

What do you call a gay bar without stools?

A fruit stand.

What did one ass cheek say to the other?

If we can just stick together, we can put a stop to all this shit.

What did the fish say when it hit a wall?


Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

Ba dum tssh!

There. I just saved you a dollar. You're welcome. recommended