I carry around a medium-large affection for Tom Arnold, but I'm not sure why. I don't really follow his career, and I certainly have no idea what his standup is like. But from what I can remember: He was married to Roseanne, he talks really fast, and in interviews he displays a compelling, candid, manic exuberance. Watching him onstage will most likely not be boring. Also, True Lies was really good. Parlor Live, 7:30 and 10 pm, $25–$35, 21+.
Divorced Jewish vegan (thanks, Wikipedia!) Myq Kaplan tells deceptively simple one-to-two-liners generous with punch lines and self-deprecation. Here is a sample joke: "I was playing golf with a friend the other day and I said, 'Hey, do you want to make this interesting?' and he was like, 'Oh, you want to put some money on it?' and I was like, 'No, let's stop playing.'" That's good, solid stuff. Laughs Comedy Spot, 8 pm, $15, 18+.
WEIRD AND AWESOME WITH EMMETT MONTGOMERY
See Stranger Suggests.