Every music writer should have at least one loony, career-ending idea. Mine is the Extraterrestrial Visitation and Economic Reward for Experimental Aesthetic Investigation Hypothesis, which assumes that if and when aliens visit our planet, they will do one of three things: maintain discreet observation, attack human civilization, or make peaceful contact. Given that we are helpless before the first two options--anyone with interstellar travel probably has superior technology--we should prepare not only for peaceful contact, but for economic and artistic exchange. It's likely that our alien visitors will be physiologically nonhuman and possess a range of hearing markedly different from our own. My hypothesis suggests that apart from spurring artistic innovation, experimental sound art--especially work that tests the limits of perception--may become a cultural product of extraordinary value to alien species.

Threshold of Pain is the sequel to last December's Threshold of Hearing gig and features the same artists from that event: Steve Barsotti, Mateo Chavez, Jake Elliott, Vance Galloway, inBOIL, Model 563, and WATFIV. Their aim, according to curator Alex Keller, is to "create engaging works that are very loud, but not overbearing." Aficionados of noise know that the best noise shows simmer at the threshold of pain, just where you almost need hearing protection. Noise shows that are too loud impel their listeners to wear earplugs (which deadens the sound)--or they simply fry the ears (which may prevent listeners from hearing anything else, ever). The performers will be hidden from view, so that the audience can focus entirely on the audible performance and not the process. Hearing protection will be available, too. CHRISTOPHER DeLAURENTI

Hear Threshold of Pain Fri April 25 (Polestar Music Gallery, 1412 18th Ave at E Union St, 329-4224) at 8 pm, $7.

chris@delaurenti.net