Richard Ayoade Hates Me

I interviewed the IT Crowd star about his new film, Submarine.

I have to tell you. I have not seen your movie yet, but the publicist told me to do the interview anyway.

That's fine. You are one of millions.

Are you mad at me?


I hope that we can still have a nice chat.

I doubt that it will affect things. I expect the conversation would be the same had you seen it.

Why don't you just introduce yourself and talk a little about the movie?

Okay. I'm Richard Ayoade, I directed this film, Submarine, and wrote the screenplay. What's it about—you could probably consult Wikipedia for this—but it's about a 13-year-old boy who's worried about his parents breaking up at the same time as he has his first relationship. There's no naval aspect to it.

Why do you recommend that people go see your film?

I don't necessarily recommend that people do go see it. I don't think I'm in a place to recommend it. And sadly, neither are you. But yeah, I couldn't recommend it. There's no real need to see it.

We can come to a consensus that maybe some people, certain people, might enjoy it.

That statistically is possible. But I obviously cannot be trusted on the subject. So for me to recommend it would be an utterly empty gesture.

Is there a type of person that you think might enjoy it more than another type of person?

Fugitives, um, and 15-year-old cadets.




Fish? As a type of person? No. I mean, literally you need to be a human to fully enjoy attending this film, I'd say.

Well, fully enjoy. A dolphin is aquatic and intelligent.

Those things are both facts, yeah. Surely this interview is going to be brutally pruned.

Do you get to take a nap soon?

You'd hope. But it may be a continual slide from this moment on.

Should we be done?


Thank you for talking to me.

It's fine. recommended


Comments (6) RSS

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Will in Seattle 1
It was an interesting film.
Posted by Will in Seattle on June 8, 2011 at 3:29 PM · Report this
Two of my favorite people having a pointless conversation. Awesome.
Posted by Put the metal to the pedal to the other metal on June 9, 2011 at 8:25 AM · Report this
The Wretched Harmony 3
In my imagination, you then went and had sex without saying another word.
Posted by The Wretched Harmony on June 9, 2011 at 12:35 PM · Report this
Richard Ayoade does this dry, modest shtick when interviewed. Except his modesty was having a pint somewhere, as he didn't mention he adapted the screenplay from Joe Dunthorne's novel, and cut out the best bits from the denouement. The cinematography was lovely, the acting competent, and the wardrobe bleh: Sally Hawkins' character wears the same thing every scene. This film "Submarine" has been getting great reviews, and I wonder if having read the novel before watching the film stopped me from liking what everyone else liked.
Posted by please keep Ayoade away from Dan Rhodes' _Gold_ on June 9, 2011 at 1:54 PM · Report this
Jesus fucking Christ why do you even bother?
Posted by Lindywestisa12yearoldgirl on June 9, 2011 at 5:41 PM · Report this
Lindy, this has nothing to do with submarine, but can you please review X Men First Class? Because there was so much terrible in it that I want to laugh about with you. And yes, I just said "with you", like me reading your review is the same as having a conversation with you.
Posted by mel_3 on June 13, 2011 at 6:38 PM · Report this

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