Under no circumstances should adults watch Mr. Popper's Penguins—but kids freaking love it. Allow Penelope, a 9-year old girl I found, to explain why.

What did you think of the movie?

It was funny.

Can you tell me what happens in it?

So Mr. Popper's dad is always gone traveling, and then he missed his birthday because he got an opportunity of a lifetime or something. And then he grows up and then his dad sends him a package and then he passes away. And, um, it has penguins in it, and he keeps sending packages with these penguins in it—I'm bad at this!

No, you're doing great!

Then the zookeeper tries to take them and sell them, but they laid a whole bunch of eggs, and—and then after one of the eggs dies, Mr. Popper lets the zookeeper take the penguins. But then he went to get them back, with his kids, and then they steal the penguins back and then they take them to Antarctica and leave them there and they visit them sometimes. The end!

So would you want a bunch of penguins living with you?

Yes. It'd be fun.

What about all the pooping?

I'd do what Jim Carrey did and hold them over a toilet.

Every time? With six penguins?

Get a litter box.

What about the whole restaurant subplot? How do you feel about that?

What do you mean?

Explain to me what happened with the whole restaurant thing.

Mr. Popper's company wanted to build land over the old restaurant [Tavern on the Green], and he never wants to sit at the certain table because him and his dad always used to sit there and his dad died.

And?

And she ended up not selling it to him.

But then didn't she sell it to him in the end?

Yeah.

Why?

I don't remember.

Fair enough. It was not clear. I was actually just hoping you could explain it to me.

Nope.

Is there anything you didn't like about the movie?

No.