ARTS AND ENTERTAINMENT
So You Wanna Be Orson Welles
For the aspiring filmmaker on your list, the greatest gift package imaginable: a year's pass to the Northwest Film Forum, a membership to WigglyWorld (giving access to their workshops and equipment rental), a $250 credit toward a class at WigglyWorld, eight hours of editing at 911 Media Arts Center (where the Stranger Genius Award-winning filmmaker James Longley edited Iraq in Fragments), a consultation with local filmmaker Lynn Shelton (We Go Way Back), and a year's subscription to TheWarrenReport. And, just to get you in the mood, we're throwing in an Orson Welles mask made by longtime Stranger artist Kathryn Rathke, a gift certificate to booze-and-food emporium Rosebud, and a case of champagne! Double-reverse-backflip priceless! Opening bid: a shamefully low $1.99!
So You Wanna Be a Medici
Get a preview tour—for you and nine friends—of Seattle Art Museum's sculpture garden with curator Michael Darling, plus a yearlong family membership to SAM and 20 VIP tickets to the Seattle Asian Art Museum. Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!
So You Wanna Be an Artist
Then put down the drugs and commence to artin'! Beef up your portfolio with $500 worth of classes at the School of Visual Concepts (web design, graphic design, typography, letterpress, etc.), a $40 membership and $250 gift certificate to Photographic Center Northwest (good for darkroom rental or classes), a $100 gift certificate to Frame Up Studios, and a one-month show at Victrola on Capitol Hill! Plus: Develop your taste for the adrenaline brew with a pound of coffee a month for a year from Victrola! A $1,240 value! Opening bid: $1.99!
So You Wanna Be a Writer
Everything you'll need to begin your career as a professional scribbler (social awkwardness and self-loathing not included). Gary Shteyngart, author of Absurdistan and The Russian Debutante's Handbook, will read and critique 3,000 words of your opus. Richard Hugo House will waive tuition to a class of your choice (and the price of one stiff drink at their bar). Plus, a $30 gift certificate to Epilogue Books, a literary CD combo (featuring sea shanties sung by Nick Cave, Bryan Ferry, et al., and plague songs by Stephin Merritt, Rufus Wainwright, et al.) and a case of Solaris wine, just in case you want to drink yourself to death! Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!
So You Wanna Be an Actor
There's no faster or funner way onto the Seattle stage than 14/48: The World's Quickest Theater Festival, the annual two-day party in which 14 new plays are written, rehearsed, and performed in a mere 48 hours. This year, 14/48 is auctioning off one of their performance slots to an aspiring thespian. Plus gift certificates for Freehold Theatre's 10-week Voice for Actors and Alexander Technique classes this winter quarter (Jan 8-March 31), and a year's subscription to TheWarrenReport. Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!
So You Wanna Be Cultured
The ultimate gift pack for the aspiring or established snoot: Madison Market helps you host a wine and cheese tasting (four wines, eight cheeses) for 15 in your home. Seattle Opera donates two tickets to their upcoming production of Julius Caesar, with a three-hour seminar on the opera with General Director Speight Jenkins. Pacific Northwest Ballet donates four tickets to their 2006 production of Nutcracker, and Henry Art Gallery wants to deify you with their God of Henry membership, featuring VIP invitations to openings and other special events, two tickets to the annual Henry fundraising bash, a private tour for four of the 2007 exhibition of your choice, and a selection of Henry Art Gallery catalogs and posters. Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!
Stranger Genius Package #1: On the Boards
On the Boards: Plunge the art lover on your list into the vast wonderfulness of the Stranger Genius Award-winning performance center On the Boards. This package includes two "pick six" subscriptions for the rest of OtB's 2006-2007 season, a $50 gift certificate to the next-door restaurant/lounge the Sitting Room, and a chance to have a preshow drink and snacks with Artistic Director Lane Czaplinski. Plus four $100 gift certificates to nearby Peso's restaurant. Valued at over $700! Opening bid: $1.99!
Stranger Genius Package #2: Washington Ensemble Theatre
Get to know one of the hottest theaters in town with a two tickets to the rest of the '06-'07 season, two tickets to their pricey and debauched fundraising gala in June, and a backstage tour with WET cofounder and Stranger Genius Award-winning scenic designer Jennifer Zeyl! The tickets are $202—but the tour is priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!
For the film lover who thinks she has everything, a big-ass basket of fantastic, including a region-free DVD player, 52 free rentals and a cornucopia of DVDs from Scarecrow Video, a year's subscription to TheWarrenReport, a copy of The Scarecrow Video Movie Guide and The Encyclopedia of Underground Movies, the triviatastic Scene It? DVD game, and two free movies per month at any Landmark Theatre (good Sunday through Thursday)! PLUS this late-breaking pot-sweetener: Four all-access passes to STIFF (Seattle True Independent Film Festival) this June! A $1,115 value! Opening bid: $1.99!
Gorge on celluloid with this lavish spread, courtesy of the Seattle International Film Festival: full-series passes for two, nine tickets to one Midnight Adrenaline film, seven tickets to the opening gala, five gala passes (good for gala screenings and receptions, including opening and closing night), and three tickets to the sci-fi shorts festival. PLUS 10 random movie posters and a copy of 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die. Extra-special plus: one filthy, stiff sock in a plastic bag dug out from behind a SIFF file cabinet. (Nasty!) Valued at $3,800! Opening bid: $1.99!
A big-ass package for the dramatically inclined and those who like to watch them, including an ACT Theatre play pass good for six admissions to any show or combination of shows in ACT's 2007 season, two tickets to any show at the Seattle Rep's Bagley Wright Theatre, two tickets to ArtsWest, two tickets to Taproot Theatre, four tickets to the February 18 showing of the Buddy Holly musical Buddy at the 5th Avenue Theatre, and the crown jewel—a pair of tickets to three concerts of your choice at the Paramount Theatre, including premier seating, private entrance, private club and bar! Holy smoke and mirrors! A $1,278 value! Opening bid: $1.99!
Just kidding. Everyone knows that there's nothing nerdy about comics. Comics are cooler than icy snot. Get even cooler with a $100 gift certificate from Comics Dungeon, a signed copy of I Love Led Zeppelin by the incomparable Ellen Forney, and a cool collection of comics from Fantagraphics. Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!
Alex Ross's iPod
New Yorker music critic Alex Ross set music nerds' hearts aflutter last year on his national iPod Tour, lecturing on 20th-century composers from Ligeti to Bjork to Messiaen and playing samples from his iPod. Now here's your chance to possess an Alex Ross-programmed iPod of your very own. The venerable Ross has programmed two playlists into this very iPod Nano (silver) in his own New York apartment with his own delicate fingers. Eeeeee! Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!
Artsy Menorah, Frosted Jesus
Local artist Lauren Grossman specializes in artistic takes on religious iconography (chrome-plated lambs, burning bushes of iron and propane flames). Who better to make your holiday menorah? Plus a fantastic nativity scene made of cupcakes from Cupcake Royale! You can't put a price on your soul, but the opening bid is $1.99.
Sgt. Rigsby and His Amazing Silhouettes
Scot Augustson and his twisted crew of shadow-puppeteers will perform an original Sgt. Rigsby piece at an event of the winner's choosing—great for birthdays, fundraisers, and divorce court! Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!