FESTIVALS

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King of Clubs

Get yourself on the guest list for a whole goddamn year at Chop Suey (one show per week), the Crocodile Cafe (ditto), Neumo’s (ditto), the Sunset Tavern (ditto), the Showbox (two tickets per month), Dimitriou’s Jazz Alley (two tickets), plus a happy-hour party for 30 of your friends at the Sunset Tavern in Ballard. Add two passes to the Experience Music Project and a copy of Crossroads, the EMP’s 178-page hardcover book celebrating American pop music, and, well, you’re the king (or queen) of clubs. Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Queen of KEXP

The lucky winner of this extravagant package receives a yearlong VIP pass to KEXP, including entrance to the Yule Benefit and the KEXP Summer BBQ, entrance to three live in-studio performances, and a “John in the Morning” show of your choice in 2007. Whoopee! Plus two passes to the Experience Music Project and a copy of their Crossroads book. Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Baron of Bumbershoot

Strut like an aristocrat and jump the long lines with two gold passes to the Bumbershoot arts festival, featuring VIP entrances, reserved-seating areas, access to the VIP lounge (with clean, flushing toilets!), and drink tickets for the beer garden! Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Signora of Sasquatch

Get the VIP treatment at Sasquatch, the Northwest’s finest new music festival in the mind-numbingly beautiful Gorge at George, Washington, with two tickets for each day of the festival, VIP passes, overnight camping passes, and two Sasquatch T-shirts and baseball caps. Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Duke of Decibel

Two full-access passes to the beat-freakiest festival in the Northwest. Plus a Decibel Festival T-shirt and nine danceable CDs by Om, Electrolush, Andy Caldwell, Johnny Budz, the scintillatingly named DJ Irene, and others. Priceless! Opening bid: $1.99!

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Block Party Big Shot

Rule the roost at Capitol Hill’s premier music bacchanalia, with VIP passes for both days, free food and beer (for 21+), a King of Block Party T-shirt, and your own porta-potty! That’s right, a padlocked plastic john for your own private use! Pee-riceless! Opening bid: $1.99!

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