In the kink community, we have a rare and exotic creature we call "The True Dominant." Like "Jerry's Kids" or Derek Zoolander, True Dominants are very special people. They are different from superficial, would-be kinksters.Identifying True DominantsTrue Dominants will use words like "Real" and "True" frequently when talking about BDSM. This indicates their superiority to wimpy wannabes who bother with silly things like negotiation and consent. The power of True Dominants is so deep and effortless that they always know what a potential submissive needs--without any discussion, without thinking about it, frequently without even having met the other person! That's because the privilege of serving a True Dominant is, in itself, so profoundly rewarding that no inquiry into the submissive's desires is necessary. Naturally, those who are unwilling to sacrifice themselves selflessly to a True Dominant's whim are clearly not True Submissives.

True Dominants never, ever, need instruction in BDSM techniques, since they popped from the womb knowing everything there is to know about BDSM. They signal their expertise by wearing as many BDSM toys on their belts as possible, especially floggers long enough to drag on the floor as they walk. And the bigger the toy bag, the more Truly Dominant someone is. Don't be taken in by some yutz who can actually lift his own toy bag--that's no True Dominant!

True Dominants always demonstrate their heaven-directed status when dealing with others, regardless of the circumstances. Their position as a True Dominant takes precedence over petty notions of "courtesy." It's never inappropriate to snap your fingers at someone when you're a True Dominant, and new acquaintances should feel honored to be addressed as "slut" or "wormboy."Burden of PowerAs alluring as it sounds, True Dominance is usually a solitary destiny. Rare is the partner who can understand and fulfill the needs of True Dominants. The expression of their Real and True Dominance, as natural as breathing for them, is labeled as "silly," "pretentious," or even "completely unreasonable" by the uninitiated. Thus, they walk among us as lonely titans, at which we groundlings can only shake our heads, and marvel.

matisse@thestranger.com