Tools
Excellent
- LITTLE ORPHAN ANI: ANI DiFRANCO
- TYLENOL TALENT: DIAMANDA GALAS
- STUPID BLOODY STUPID!: U2
- Excellent
- CINEMATIC CLICHE: JOHN WILLIAMS
- SURF BLAND: PIXIES
- LYRICAL LIGHTWEIGHT: LEONARD COHEN
- HALF-ASSED HISTRIONICS: MURDER CITY DEVILS
- NASTY NOT NICE: THE BEASTIE BOYS
- LOW-RENT BEATLES: OASIS
- CASH-IN CROONERS: BLONDIE
- MOUTH FULL OF SHIT: BOB DYLAN
- PUNK SUCKS!: THE MISFITS
- TRAGIC WASTE: BOB MARLEY
- FASCIST BULLY: HENRY ROLLINS
- COAT-TAIL RIDER: STING
- JUNGLE/ DRUM 'N' BASS
- NO CLOTHES: SLEATER-KINNEY
- COUNTRY BUMPKINS: BLUR
- SOULLESS DIVA: LAURYN HILL
- BLEARY CRYBABY: RUFUS WAINWRIGHT
- MARKETING FOR MORONS: KISS
- '80s HITS
- ASSHOLE WITH ATTITUDE: FRANK SINATRA
- RADIOHEAD
- HATE HAIKU FOR LENNY KRAVITZ
- HEAD CASES: SUEDE
- IDLE CHATTER: BILLIE HOLIDAY
- JUNKIE JERK-OFFS: THE VELVET UNDERGROUND
- GRUMPY OLD MEN: THE ROLLING STONES
- JOHNNY CASH
- VAUDEVILLE VALET: BUSTA RHYMES
- LITTLE ORPHAN ANI: ANI DiFRNCO
- TYLENOL TALENT: DIAMANDA GALAS
- STUPID BLOODY STUPID!!: U2
The refrain to their most successful U.S. song ("Song 2") was unashamedly ripped off from Pavement. Their biggest U.K. hit to date ("Country House") was a cheap, tawdry example of mass exploitation--making the Backstreet Boys look like pop novices in comparison. Initially, their main inspiration was a godawful group of "quirky" English eccentrics called the Cardiacs, who make Barenaked Ladies sound palatable. They have, in the past, spouted stupidly crass xenophobic statements in interviews. They've changed musical styles more times than Trent Reznor has changed his underpants. Damon Albarn once dated Elastica's Justine Frischmann (don't get me started on her)! And yet, unaccountably, the hipsters still fall for them--fifth-rate Kinks pretenders not even worthy to button Ray Davies' Ben Sherman shirt. One word: Why?







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