May 23, 2012

Columns

Drunk of the Week

A Midnight Haiku Contest!

by 

Drunk of the Week

Kelly O

Inspired by Sarah Galvin's inimitable, must-read series "Midnight Haiku," posted every weekend on The Stranger's music and nightlife blog, Line Out, here is a photo I took right around midnight on Melrose Avenue. Best haiku wins one Dutch Colony canned ham and one growler of Manny's from Georgetown Brewing Company. Submit yours in the comment section below! recommended

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Comments (51) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
OrdinaryMadness.org 1
So drunk I can stand,
Who needs doctors when there is
whiskey and vodka?
Posted by OrdinaryMadness.org http://www.ordinarymadness.org on May 23, 2012 at 8:31 AM · Report
2
Hallelujah, sounds
"I am risen! Come childen,
taste my flesh and blood.
Posted by zedsteady on May 23, 2012 at 9:18 AM · Report
3
I don't need a drunk
Have my own Dutch Colony
Stick yours in your can
Posted by Ron Boolio on May 23, 2012 at 9:20 AM · Report
4
Why am I so proud?
Look again and you will see.
Vomit messiah.
Posted by bob2 on May 23, 2012 at 11:19 AM · Report
5
I stole your chair bitch
cuz I'm a ruthless gangsta
now I need more swill
Posted by poguemahone bitches on May 23, 2012 at 12:30 PM · Report
Mrs Jarvie 6
trade wheels for legs
release my troubled stomach
crooked state of bliss
Posted by Mrs Jarvie on May 23, 2012 at 1:32 PM · Report
7
that wheelchair's not mine,
you are dumb to assume so.
now i have to puke.
Posted by MegLK on May 23, 2012 at 2:45 PM · Report
8
neck bearded man
drunkenly soiling the boulevard
is that creamed corn?
Posted by Doug in SC on May 23, 2012 at 3:25 PM · Report
9
drunk bus stop
orange grey blue
wheel chair fingers curled
like dogs' heads bliss
Posted by janeyrejordan on May 23, 2012 at 7:37 PM · Report
10
drunk bus stop
orange grey blue
wheelchair fingers curled
like dogs' heads bliss
Posted by hoyden on May 23, 2012 at 7:42 PM · Report
bedipped 11
chariot of moist
blistered Icarus taint wax
my chill is your whack
Posted by bedipped on May 23, 2012 at 10:43 PM · Report
12
Upright by grace
Speckled gastric offerings
Polydipsia
Posted by whatsit on May 23, 2012 at 10:58 PM · Report
13
Upright by grace
Speckled gastric offerings
Polydipsia
Posted by whatsit on May 23, 2012 at 10:58 PM · Report
14
I am Messiah
I can walk on the water
Why not on concrete
Posted by Jay197206 on May 24, 2012 at 11:40 AM · Report
15
I retch like a god
At times all over my pants
My chin a tribble
Posted by LBrady on May 24, 2012 at 3:04 PM · Report
16
I feel much regret.
We touch and make out so hard.
Then I puke on you.
Posted by MyNameIsJeff on May 24, 2012 at 3:32 PM · Report
17
I feel much regret.
We touch and make out so hard.
Then I puke on you.
Posted by MyNameIsJeff on May 24, 2012 at 3:33 PM · Report
18
Savage streets I'm here
I share with you my dinner
Mixed with some Coors Light
Posted by LBrady on May 24, 2012 at 4:28 PM · Report
19
I want that ham man,
I am all about the ham...
Can Ham, what it do
Posted by Kyle necisito dat ham 420/69 on May 24, 2012 at 5:23 PM · Report
20
No puke till Brooklyn
Found my legs in Seattle
Kissin with a whore
Posted by two tvs and remote control on May 24, 2012 at 5:53 PM · Report
jfljoe 21
I roll and I yack
In my hand-wheeled Cad'lac
Now rise and rally
Posted by jfljoe on May 24, 2012 at 6:45 PM · Report
jfljoe 22
Sorry FAIL with the wheeled as two syllables...

I roll and I yack
In my hand-wheeled Cadillac
Now rise and rally
Posted by jfljoe on May 24, 2012 at 6:48 PM · Report
23
the devil, exercised
No more Rollin, I walk free
And wait for the bus
Posted by Ricky Celfone on May 24, 2012 at 8:04 PM · Report
24
Spent my change drinking
Missed my fucking bus AGAIN
At least I can stand
Posted by auntie grizelda on May 24, 2012 at 9:22 PM · Report
CountVernacula 25
Just like everybody, when I was little I thought it'd be cool to have a twin. Not so much for the companionship or secret handshakes or anything, but because participating in one of those circus side shows of the late 19th century always held a romantic sort of charm for me.

^My impression of Sarah Galvin.
Posted by CountVernacula on May 24, 2012 at 11:18 PM · Report
JensR 26
Relax or Relief
Perched on the tipping point
Wheelchair or Vomit
Posted by JensR http://ohyran.se on May 24, 2012 at 11:43 PM · Report
27
Wheelchair Wizards
Just want to fucking party
try somethin', girlfriend
Posted by notoncenotnever on May 24, 2012 at 11:49 PM · Report
28
I pray to Bacchus,
"This night is just beginning.
It's time to rally."
Posted by cstorm on May 24, 2012 at 11:55 PM · Report
29
I pray to Bacchus,
"This night is just beginning.
It's time to rally."
Posted by cstorm on May 24, 2012 at 11:59 PM · Report
30
I'm Drunk of all Weeks
I never see you there Stranger
Dun-dun-da-na-na
Posted by mathewsela on May 25, 2012 at 12:02 AM · Report
31
Puke on the sidewalk,
A drunk man shrugs his shoulders,
and who gives a shit?
Posted by rodlotta on May 25, 2012 at 1:41 AM · Report
32
Drunken fill I got
Can not walk? Oh I forgot
The vomit? Tis still hot
Posted by Binge-o on May 25, 2012 at 2:42 AM · Report
33
haikus should contain
a seasonal reference
that douchebro looks cold
Posted by ti_dave on May 25, 2012 at 3:06 AM · Report
34
My head cocked just so
My arms say what the fuck dude
Don't worry, I'm cool
Posted by JGeoV on May 25, 2012 at 3:49 AM · Report
35
pay no attention
to my wrath, instead, dig my
christ-like appearance
Posted by bland one on May 25, 2012 at 8:17 AM · Report
36
pay no attention
to my wrath, instead, dig my
christ-like appearance
Posted by bland one on May 25, 2012 at 8:20 AM · Report
37
my facial hair fail
to my ballet-esque pose off
no action tonight
Posted by twiggn on May 25, 2012 at 11:49 AM · Report
38
I think about the
Animal crackers screaming
As i eat them now
Posted by Lara M on May 25, 2012 at 2:53 PM · Report
39
Are you been drinking
That I have had too much to
Insinuate? *burp*
Posted by SamForViceroy on May 25, 2012 at 4:58 PM · Report
40
Whether alcohol or poisoned meal,
Retch has the same tangy flavor.
Posted by ww on May 26, 2012 at 12:02 PM · Report
41
I feel like Jesus,
Risen from a wheelchair,
Nauseous vertigo
Posted by LezzieInTheRye on May 27, 2012 at 9:31 PM · Report
42
I swallow vodka.
I achieve christ consciousness
Then I unswallow.
Posted by ww on May 28, 2012 at 5:09 AM · Report
43
I puked and just out of view
He commanded "Leave your wheelchair and walk."
Posted by ww on May 28, 2012 at 3:44 PM · Report
44
Can't delete so I'll have to edit.. But I ought to just delete it.

I puked and just out of view
Someone said "Leave your wheelchair and walk."
Posted by ww on May 28, 2012 at 4:34 PM · Report
TheloniousPunk 45
the man in the suit
is probably glad that he
did not get splashback
Posted by TheloniousPunk on May 28, 2012 at 4:39 PM · Report
TheloniousPunk 46
a nice place to sit
next to the river flowing
downhill; alone night
Posted by TheloniousPunk on May 28, 2012 at 4:48 PM · Report
47
HOLY WOW. These are so great. Public vote for the winner, tomorrow on LINEOUT!
Posted by Kelly O on May 29, 2012 at 2:12 PM · Report
ron_in_PDX 48
Lordy, so much wonderful haiku (or thereabouts) to choose from. For me it's ...

... with shaky hand, I
search for my AA schedule.
Freaked a bit, I guess.

Posted by ron_in_PDX on May 29, 2012 at 2:45 PM · Report
49
Free shrugs after two
Looking for shrub to rainbow
Oh well street will do
Posted by stu ungar on May 29, 2012 at 3:06 PM · Report
50
shit my pants
I smell like hell
can't get a ride
Posted by Dennis Bendickson on May 30, 2012 at 10:48 PM · Report
51
could n't walk that night
and one hun dred beers la- ter
I rise from the chair

stick with it a while
mid night mir a cles hap pen
al co hol-ways heals
Posted by dookie x on May 31, 2012 at 2:51 AM · Report

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