February 20, 2013

Drunk of the Week

What Do You Do?

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You're having a Valentine's Day party, and suddenly one of your guests has a blowup doll stuck to his face. What do you do?

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Dear Kelly O,

None of those poll options mention the dildo; I respectfully submit that you fail at polls.

With love,

Posted by Head Shot Only on February 20, 2013 at 10:13 AM · Report

staged

Posted by pray for beans on February 20, 2013 at 10:23 AM · Report

@1 - There is a write-in option for the dildo. Please add your ideas below. Also, of note - the dildo is also a SQUIRT GUN. Think about the possibilites!

Posted by Kelly O on February 20, 2013 at 11:15 AM · Report

Obviously, the answer is "Take a picture of it and put it on the internet."

Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on February 20, 2013 at 2:36 PM · Report

And the sad part is, that turned out to be the first sighting of Mitt Romney since the election.

Posted by AlaskanbutnotSeanParnell on February 20, 2013 at 5:43 PM · Report

It's not called "Sober Of The Week". Rock On Kelly OOO.

Posted by freesandbags on February 20, 2013 at 9:34 PM · Report

This column is stale.

Posted by ctmcmull on February 21, 2013 at 8:56 AM · Report

Use the squirt dildo to provide the appropriate ejaculate.

Posted by Godzilla1916 on February 21, 2013 at 9:01 AM · Report

Dad?

Posted by Scared... on February 21, 2013 at 10:58 AM · Report

Grab the champagne, stick the dildo up guest's ass.

Posted by meb on February 21, 2013 at 6:04 PM · Report

Shoot the hostage, obvii!

Posted by sonic_reducer on February 22, 2013 at 5:48 AM · Report

More party photos, of Judy, the $32.84 (after tax) Blow-Up doll, here on Flickr....
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sierrastins…

R.I.P. Judy

Posted by Kelly O on February 22, 2013 at 1:08 PM · Report

Spill the wine, take that girl.

Posted by hoosierspud on February 22, 2013 at 9:11 PM · Report

I think that sex is overrated too.

Posted by gttrgst on February 23, 2013 at 7:31 PM · Report

It's a REALLY bad sign when your blow-up doll is bored with you(...or so I've heard...)

Posted by AlaskanbutnotSeanParnell on February 23, 2013 at 9:30 PM · Report

Are there any Brad Pitt blow-up dolls available anywhere?
He might get bored with me, but I wouldn't be bored with him!

Posted by auntie grizelda on February 26, 2013 at 12:18 PM · Report

Possibly. I heard of a John Holmes doll somewhere...but who the hell would want to touch it?

If nothing else, you could get an Edward Norton doll and become convinced that you also have a Brad Pitt doll.

Posted by AlaskanbutnotSeanParnell on February 26, 2013 at 8:55 PM · Report