Did you know that girls from Alaska—land of the midnight sun; the 49th state, purchased from Russia in 1867 for two cents an acre; land of three million lakes, grizzly bears, bald eagles, and the annual Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race—are unfuckwithable? And I'm not talking about Sarah Palin and her weird brood of tree and twig people. I'm talking REAL Alaskan women. You can't outrace, outshoot, or outdrink even one of them. Don't even try. Ooh, and if you piss one off, don't be surprised if you find all four of your car tires slashed by a bowie knife. I wish I'd been born in Alaska.