In honor of The Stranger's Back to School issue, here are some tips to help YOU become a world-champion chugger. (1) Fuck microbrew! If you're at any party for more than two hours, y'need "water-beer" (Rainier, Pabst, or anything "lite"). (2) Skip the bong. Keg stands are cool, but say "no-no-no!" to the beer bong. (3) Before-and-after pizza. A beer drinker's superfood. Thick crust and light cheese is A+. (4) You can puke if you wanna! The party's not over, but you're just too full. It's okay to puke! Just watch your aim, and keep 'er neat and discreet.