I know the half-Apache who assassinated Robert F. Kennedy. What about Sirhan Sirhan? He was shooting, too, but only hit walls and doors. The craziest thing? Sirhan and my Apache friend were operating independently of each other. Neither knew of the other.

My Apache was a CIA agent, an ironic patriot, fighting hard for the country that had obliterated his ancestors.

"I didn't want that commie Kennedy to be president," he'd always say, as if it were a simple act logically based upon an even simpler belief.

I'm one of those rare Indians who have never picked up a gun. And I have never committed any small or large crime. But if I'm the moral person that I claim to be, then why haven't I turned in my friend? First of all, he's 82, in a wheelchair, and dying of emphysema, so what kind of punishment is worse than that? Second, who would believe me anyway? And last, considering colonial history, I think it might be justified for any Indian to kill any US politician.

Or maybe my friend is lying. If so, then it is the 11th greatest lie ever told by an Indian man. The top 10 lies were all told to get nine women and one man into bed. So, yeah, we Indian warriors have got our priorities in the right order. recommended