LIMITED RUN


* The Birds
Alfred Hitchcock's 1962 classic, starring Tippi Hedren as the most hated woman in the avian universe. Grand Illusion, Fri-Thurs at 6 pm, 8:30 pm, no shows Mon.

Carrie
"Plug it up! Plug it up! Plug it up!" Egyptian, Fri-Sat at midnight.

Cin(E)-Poetry Showcase
Currator George Aguilar presents 25 years of experimental "video poems," set to the verse of Sylvia Plath, Raymond Carver, Emily Dickinson, and Leonard Cohen, among others. Rendezvous, Sat at 9 pm.

* Dancing Outlaw I & II
Though I probably hate white-trash chic more than anyone you've ever met, that doesn't mean I can't love Jesse White, the multiple-personality-havin', booze-guzzlin', vapor-huffin', mountain-dancing shitbird cracker from the hills of West Virginny. This titanic 1991 documentary, produced for WV public TV, spawned a thousand late-night "dude, you've GOT to see this" sessions, and for good reason. Jesse White, a.k.a. Jesco, a.k.a. Elvis, is an American original, and so is his family. The chance to watch him work should never be passed up. Featuring the follow-up documentary: Dancing Outlaw II: Jesco Goes to Hollywood. JBL Theater, Wed at 7 pm and 9 pm.

Films from Macedonia
In residency at 911 until December, Macedonian media artist Riljana Tanurovska currates a collection of contemporary works from her homeland. 911 Media Arts, Wed at 8 pm.

Horns and Halos
See review this issue. 911 Media Arts, Fri at 8 pm.

* Jaws
"This was no boating accident." Grand Illusion, Fri-Thurs at 6 pm and 8 pm, no show on Mon.

KUROSAWA & MIFUNE Festival
See review this issue. An entire week of "graceful macho" cinema, devoted to the collaboration of two Japanese greats: Akira Kurosawa and Toshiro Mifune. Series includes The Seven Samurai, Kurosawa's compelling version of a "Western." Varsity, See Movie Times for dates and times.

* The Making of The Green Goblin's Last Stand
So this kid hears that James Cameron is going to make a movie of Spider-Man, which happens to be the chief obsession of his life. In order to attract Cameron's attention, the kid decides to quit making his amateurish little VHS Spidey shorts and make an EPIC, throwing all his resources (none) together with all his gymnastic-cinematic moxie (tons) into a movie that will eventually... be seen by no one but the lucky few who get to ConWorks tonight for this American Movie-esque (without the sneering, or the genius) documentary. Screens with the film that started it all. (SEAN NELSON) Consolidated Works, Fri-Sun at 8 pm.

* Polterchrist
A cult-classic in the making, Polterchrist combines blasphemous humor, raunchy bathroom scenes, and low-grade special effects to make for one excellently creepy "horrordy" film. (JENNIFER MAERZ) Little Theatre, Tues at 7 pm, 9 pm.

Super-8 Stag Party
One of the most famous cockslingers in porn history is the focus this two-night Super-8 shorts extravaganza, as the infamous John C. Holmes and his third leg do what they do best. Grand Illusion, Fri-Sat at 11 pm.

NeW this week


Far From Heaven
See review this issue. Seven Gables.

Half Past Dead
Tired Zen action hero Steven Seagal plays an FBI agent on the hunt for a high-tech criminal genius (Morris Chestnut)--planning to break into a maximum security prison and rough up Ja Rule. Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Lewis & Clark, Meridian 16, Woodinville 12.

Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets
See review this issue. Cinerama, Factoria, Grand Alderwood, Majestic Bay, Metro, Oaktree, Pacific Place 11, Woodinville 12.

Standing in the Shadows of Motown
A functional, if not exactly riveting documetary about the session musicians who comprised the backbone of the Motown sound but whom no one has ever heard of. The Funk Brothers (a mixed-race collecticve of amazing players) can be heard on every Detroit-era Motown hit, but because of the way the star singers were marketed, they very often didn't even receive credit. The movie does them justice by telling the story, but slips into miscalculation by having the fellas play the old hits live, accompanied by some of today's least impressive stars (Joan Osborne, Me'shell N'degeocello, Levert). The performances just reinforce the star power of the original Motown stable. (SEAN NELSON) Guild 45th

* The Weight of Water
See review this issue. Uptown.

NOW PLAYING


* 8 Mile
Directed by Curtis Hanson (L.A. Confidential, Wonder Boys), the movie tells the story of Jimmy Smith Jr. (Eminem), a working-class kid who begrudgingly crashes with his jobless, trailer-dwelling mom (Kim Basinger), a woman who lives off bingo and bad men, while his predominantly black posse supports him through the underground battle halls of Detroit. It's the Marshall Mathers version of the underdog-done-good idea, a concept presented in various films over the years, from The Karate Kid to Hoop Dreams. But 8 Mile works because you believe the story behind it. (JENNIFER MAERZ)

* 8 Women
On the surface, jealousy is the combative common ground the film's eight women share in the home of a murdered man--who is a husband, a father, a brother, a son-in-law, and a philanderer in relation to the various characters. The women candidly sing and dance to their inner feelings, while hiding away their jealousies or hurling bold suspicions at one another. (KATHLEEN WILSON)

Abandon
A suggestion for a better title: "Inept." A rich student at some unnamed East Coast college went missing two years ago, and is suspected to be dead. A local cop (Bratt) is assigned to figure things out, and the trail leads him to the missing student's former girlfriend (Holmes). Whatever. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)

Auto Focus
Auto Focus is a monument to everything rotten in so-called "bio-pics" today; it is based on nothing but rumor and innuendo. It is not the true story of Bob Crane's life. Period. (SCOTTY CRANE)

The Banger Sisters
Goldie Hawn plays an aging groupie in this cloying piece of false, middlebrow claptrap. (SEAN NELSON)

The Barbershop
Starring two popular rappers, Ice Cube and Eve, Barbershop is about a young man (Ice Cube) who reluctantly runs a barbershop he inherited from his recently departed father. The best part in the movie concerns the scientific difference between good booty and bad booty. (CHARLES MUDEDE)

Bowling For Columbine
For a while, Moore seems on to something--a culture of fear endemic to our country--but in the end, he shortchanges the psychological complexity in favor of cheap shots. He wants to say something great, but ultimately doesn't. Can't, maybe. Because he isn't really a social critic, he's a demagogue. (SEAN NELSON)

Brown Sugar
Hollywood's first hiphop romance, Brown Sugar is fucking filled with rappers, who are on the whole bloated and boring. (CHARLES MUDEDE)

Comedian
The reason this documentary will stand as a work of greatness for decades to come is simple: It absolutely nails the psychology of the standup comic, the most narcissistic, petty, self-obsessed, hateful, and bitter breed of entertainer known to mankind. (SEAN NELSON)

* The Fast Runner
Although the filmmakers have lovingly reconstructed every detail of prehistoric Inuit culture--this being the first feature-length film entirely in the Inuktitut language--they keep the characters palpably real. (MATT FONTAINE)

Femme Fatale
Femme Fatale has everything a proper Brian De Palma movie should have: sex, cameras, surveillance, manipulation, mistaken identity, doubles, lesbians, impalement, elaborate split-screen action, withering humor, and more self-awareness than a narcissists' convention. (SEAN NELSON)

Formula 51
This movie has a little bit of everything: its bad ass comes from blaxploitation (Samuel Jackson); its pace and action from Hong Kong cinema (director Ronny Yu); its object of desire from La Femme Nikita (Emily Mortimer); and comedy/sidekick from lad films (Robert Carlyle). The result is utter rubbish. (CHARLES MUDEDE)

Frida
Frida is yet another artist's story that has been stripped of nuance and turned into a paean to something indiscriminately called "living," here with requisite Latin heat and groaning tables of erotically charged food. (EMILY HALL)

Ghost Ship
A haunted old 1953 cruiseliner in the Bering Sea is the setting for this plot-weak but gory-effects-heavy horror flick, in which ghosts, carnage, and surprise twists keep you on the edge of your seat. (AMY JENNIGES)

I-Spy
Almost proof that chemistry can trump originality. Almost. An update of the '60s TV show, I-Spy slaps the brilliance of Eddie Murphy and Owen Wilson together and places them in a creaky, fairly inane plot. Murphy and Wilson's talents are wasted here, to be sure, but what little breathing room is given proves superduper entertaining. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)

* Jackass: The Movie
Jackass is a perfect film. (SEAN NELSON)

Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie
The computer-animated version of the pamphlets you find at bus stops.

Lilo & Stitch
Lilo is the studio's best since Aladdin, and it's a tad less racist, too. (ANNIE WAGNER)

Men in Black II
All the humor is self-aware, and self-directed. It's like the whole joke is that the movie was even made. I call that crass. (SEAN NELSON)

* Moonlight Mile
I know this film looks like a sappy weeper, and it kind of is, but as a story of bereavement, commitment, and coming of age (and finding the limits of each), it is also funny, smart, and exquisitely well acted by Dustin Hoffman, Susan Sarandon, and Jake Gyllenhaal. (SEAN NELSON)

Mostly Martha
Sandra Nettelbeck's German production is much less crude than the escapist "foreign" fantasies American audiences have become accustomed to. (ANNIE WAGNER)

My Big Fat Greek Wedding
This romantic comedy is based on the one-woman show of Second City alumna Nia Vardalos, who also directs the story of 30-year-old Toula who searches for love and self-realization.

* Paid In Full
Based on a true story, Paid in Full paints a vivid and sincere portrait of the lives and times of a group of teenage Harlem drug lords in the early '80s. The film preaches against drug culture by using humanity in place of sensationalism or fear, and unlike Blow or Traffic, it works. (MEG VAN HUYGEN)

Pokémon 4ever
The fourth (4ever, get it?) Pokémon film.

Punch-Drunk Love
Starring Adam Sandler, Emily Watson, and Philip Seymour Hoffman, Punch-Drunk Love is a confused story--not confusing to the audience, but confused within itself. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)

Real Women Have Curves
A simplistic and thought-provokeless tale about one spirited teenage member of the underclass' struggle to individuate her young self in the context of her traditional, stifling, almost poverty-stricken family. (MICHAEL SHILLING)

* Red Dragon
Clunky and breathtakingly unoriginal, Brett Ratner's film is an absolute paint-by-numbers affair. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)

The Ring
There are a few jumps here and there, along with one startling image near the end involving a TV, but for the most part The Ring just sorta trudges along, rarely surprising, often befuddling. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)

Roger Dodger
Directed by first-timer Dylan Kidd, Roger Dodger is all shaky handheld blundering, but Campbell Scott keeps the film afloat, paddling furiously through his lines and the marginally fleshed-out storyline. His efforts alone make the flick a worthwhile endeavor. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)

The Santa Clause 2
The most unnecessary sequel since Silent Night, Deadly Night 4.

* Secretary
Maggie Gyllenhaal plays Lee Holloway, a slightly retarded nymphet secretary just released from a loony house, who develops a subversive relationship with her employer, played by James Spader. Part of Secretary's singular quality is that the heroine's problem is never resolved. She entrenches herself deeper and deeper in her "sick" dependency, and ultimately, it becomes her virtue. (MEG VAN HUYGEN)

Spirited Away
In spite of its conspicuous cute deficiency, Spirited Away is by all means a striking visual composition--just make sure you're not drowsy going in. (ZAC PENNINGTON)

Sweet Home Alabama
A lesson that's already been taught in one hackneyed comedy after another--namely, that poor white Southern folk are fat, dumb, and wear Jaclyn Smith, but the boys are hot and they ain't as stupid as city folk think, 'cause they have heart. (JENNIFER MAERZ)

The Transporter
You see, there's this kinda shady guy, who's British but is a master of Kung Fu, and his job is to transport materials. This other guy, who's American, hires him to transport something and it turns out to be a really hot Chinese woman. And then, all hell breaks loose--not spectacular hell, but more of a muddling, dimwitted hell. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)

* The Truth About Charlie
A remake of Stanley Donen's Charade, a communion-wafer-thin '60s comedy. The film, like its predecessor, is a smart kind of dumb; a romp with a love of movies, faces, and all things Francophile at the center. (SEAN NELSON)

Tuck Everlasting
A wonderful cast, lovely cinematography, and an almost Zenlike pace cannot overcome the fact that this story is about a 104-year-old guy who's doing it with a teenager! He is approximately six times her age! Yuck! (TAMARA PARIS)

The Tuxedo
The Tuxedo is a bad kung fu film. (CHARLES MUDEDE)

XXX
Just how bad is XXX? Worse than you've imagined. (BRADLEY STEINBACHER)